((: When I get my laptop I'll upload all my pictures!! This comm will be the death of me! Rahhhhh




Winter (Cassey's dog) bit me in the stomach! Haha was quite traumatised. But he's a beautiful dog still! Belly dancing workshop was fun! Anyway I've just showered. Time to hit the homework. Econs and geog GOs plus study for econs test tomorrow! After school, I'm meeting Amelia (finally) for our dose of IKEA =O) Cheer up vian! And thanks for having me over Cass <3 style="font-weight: bold;">





Someday we'll know,
love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
why
I wasn't meant for you;
why
I was the one for you.


Oh, I need to go some place and be alone with nothing but plain objectiveness.

<3 It's times like these that make me think of that awesome snippet from 'This year's love'. Love means so many things; You make me smile. You make me laugh. You make me laugh at myself. I miss you. I hate missing you. I want to kiss you. You make me cry. I need you. I think of you. I dream of you. You make me laugh at myself. You make me happy to be me..

And it's thoughts like these that make me almost ready to make the leap.

Rah. Back to work. A butch asked me for my number today. Eeeeeuuuuurrrrrghhhhh





so you think you've got me all figured out? =O)

click here!





Hello world. Up at this hour doing work and thinking about life (as always). This blog is moving soon.



















GOLD WITH HONOURS! <3

















Home club on saturday! Real cozy place with good music =)) Was bazaar-ing with Ian, and Amelia and Angela came to visit. Wheeeee (:

Sunday night. Jeremy's place for impromptu dinner! Watched fight club, and it seriously screws with your mind but it's good! It's got some profound meaning.. Haha it's pretty abstract too but very well done =) Derong gave everyone a lift home(except darren, we dropped him off at kallang) and I had loads of fun sitting in front and being his road directory.. haha my navigation is actually not bad and I'm quite impressed with myself =)) I directed him from Jeremy's (other)house, to rach's place, to jem's place, to kallang mrt, then to my place! Hahah I had a taste of what my mum used to go through in the car with us. Pretty comical how derong was so intently watching the road, while I was frantically trying to think of how to get to the next place and which way to go by, where to take the next turn etc.. rach jem and darren were laughing and talking(darren was shrieking, really) and music from the ipod was blasting out the speakers. When I get a car, the first thing I'll do is go cruising around late at night blasting switchfoot. Oh, can't wait.

I managed to finish all my work today - plus study! Am pretty over the moon about that.. haha but I've had alot of things on my mind lately. I'm really trying to figure things out and think about what it is that I really should be doing. I guess it's just hard when you feel everyone's breathing down your neck. It does nothing but make you more confused, really. Sometimes it scares me how people you trust turn out to be completely untrustworthy, and it is disconcerting that I find myself trusting less.. and less and less.. till I wonder if there is really anybody left to trust. I will take as long as I need here, and you don't have to wait.


Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;






Oh, you, in retrospect...


It's 12.25 am and I'm eternally grateful to Ian for reciting me my chinese essay(due tomorrow)! HAHAHA =))


Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
noo hahaha im doing work
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
;)
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
writing my chinese essay
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
(still non existent)
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
HAHAHAHAHAHHA
ian - Super illegalling on 15 apr at Esplanade outdoor theatre! Motorola Super Style MIX awards! says:
wat
ian - Super illegalling on 15 apr at Esplanade outdoor theatre! Motorola Super Style MIX awards! says:
have my eyes deceived me
ian - Super illegalling on 15 apr at Esplanade outdoor theatre! Motorola Super Style MIX awards! says:
chinese essay
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
haha they have not
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
=op
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
is your chinese good?
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
mmm
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
passable i guess
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
ok! then i can ask you
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
((:
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
i shall start writing now!
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
omg how u gonna ask me
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
you are a witness to this auspicious moment in history..
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
你需要用中文字吗？
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
huh?
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
translation please ((:
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
ok so
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
im witness to you doing a chinese essay?
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
yeh!
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
=op
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
wait ah
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
1145
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
0804
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
ok set
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
WALAU
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
whats that supposed to mean
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
hahahahhaha
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
=op
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
4D ;)
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
hahahahahaha
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
OMG
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
ok faster go do your work
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
i jsut realised i totally dunno how to start!
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
*just
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
let me know what items u gonna put up for the flea market
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
doh whats the topic
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
ok i will (:
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
erm
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
my ideal jc life
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
wo li xiang zhong de something something shen huo
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
HAHA
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
我的理想初级学院生活
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
ya!
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
so smart!
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
hahaha
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
ok first sentence..
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
how to say time passes very quickly
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
HAHA
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
in a cheem way
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
x)
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
hmm
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
光阴似箭，日月如梭

ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
time is like an arrow, the days are like rockets
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
HAHAHAHAH
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
omg ok sounds cool ((:
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
what do u wanna say
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
haha! my first sentence: ren jia cang cang shuo (the cheem phrase you gave me)
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
i wanna say that time passes quickly, and just awhile ago is was doing o levels, but now im in jc
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
experiencing a whole new world
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
hahahhh
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
i fail lah =((
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
光阴似箭,日月如梭, zhuan

ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
光阴似箭，日月如梭，不久前我还在温习 水准科目，现在突然发觉我已经在初级学院有一个月多，而且不断得在吸收新经验

ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
光阴似箭，日月如梭，不久前我还在温习 'O' 水准科目，现在突然发觉我已经在初级学院有一个月多，而且不断得在吸收新经验

Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
omigosh
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
i owe you big time for this!
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
hahaha
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
i bet he'll know tis not me though
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
he knows im from clb =op
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
but hwo cares!
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
&who
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
he'
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
lol ...
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
he'll know i tried hahahhaa
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
eh wait my grammar wrong
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
光阴似箭，日月如梭，不久前我还在温习 水准科目，现在突然发觉我在初级学院已经有一个月多，而且不断得在吸收新经验.
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
thats better
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
what do the lat two words mean
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
*last
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
which last 2
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
copy and paste
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
经验
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
hahaha
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
光阴似箭，日月如梭，不久前我还在温习 'O' 水准科目，现在突然发觉我在初级学院已经有一个月多，而且不断得在吸收新经验
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
oh that
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
experience
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
oooooh ok =op
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
jing nian
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
perfecto!
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
jing1 nian4
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
:D
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
hahahaa
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
what brilliant software is this
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
urm windows language toolbar
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
its built into windows xp
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
oooooooh =op
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
can you translate to french? haha..
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
bev, focus!
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
translate no.... i was typing in chinese
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
hahahahha wow then youre a pro
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
=o)
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
huh
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
no la *shy*
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
how do i say
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
jc life turns out to be really different from secondary school life (in a good way)
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
and im really enjoying it
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
thats easy
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
我是大笨蛋
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
jc shen huo gen zong xue shen huo hen bu yi yang
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
HEY!
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
=O
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
hahhahahahhaaha
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
are u supposed to type/write in chinese?
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
yehh.. HAHA
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
mmm
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
k
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
can that sentence pass?
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
初级学院跟中学的环境和活动，真的是一个天一个地。
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
eh wait
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
mmm? (;
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
初级学院跟中学的环境和活动比起来，真的是一个天一个地。neng
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
初级学院跟中学的环境和活动比起来，真的是一个天一个地。neng
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
atrhgj
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
yay! im up to 3/4 a page!
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
x))
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
i owe you a few cans of coke
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
hahahhahahha
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
walau i should really go and brush up on my chinese
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
=O
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
so what do u have so far
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
everything you gave me..
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
HAHA
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
put together..
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
-___________________-
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
i added some words before the seocnd para though
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
i wrote:
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
guo le yi ge yue duo zai srjc li, wo fa xian " your paragraph "
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
hahahha
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
hmmm

HAHAHA I'm out, guys! Got work to do ;) As you probably can tell.. Haha!

Turn your speakers on.




' This above all; To thine own self be true.'


A fox among the shadows of the town,
Should I surrender to the arms of man?
On the blank icehills lies in wait
The fighting cold who has thrown down
His challenge. I'll not imitate
The feline compromise. I scan
With warring eyes the servile fate
Of animals who joined the heated town.

Lean-hearted lions in the concrete zoo
Grow bellies, tendons slacken in pale hide,
Their breath slows to a dying pace.
Their keepers love them? Tell me who
Would cage his love in such a place.
Where only fish are satisfied?
The keeper has a huntsman's face,
His grasping love would kill me in the zoo.

A scavenger throughout the snowing wind
I peel the sweet bark from the frozen tree
Or trap the bird with springing jaws.
The sun retreats out of my mind.
How could I give this waking pause
When death's my sleeping company?
Mad empty, licking at my sore.
I howl this bitter and unloving wind.

Furious in the savage winter day
The crimson riders hounded me from birth
Though landscapes built of thorn and stone.
Though I must be their sudden pray,
Torn to my terror's skeleton.
Or go to the forgotten earth,
I will have hunted too, alone,
I will have wandered in my handsome day.

Four seasons wrestle me, I throw them all
And live to tumble with another year
In love or battle. I'll not fly
From mindless elements and fall
A victim of the keeper's lie.
The field is mine; but still I fear
Strong death, my watching enemy,
Though seasons pass and I survive them all.

















i'm feeling terribly abstract today ((:

anyway quite a number of embarassing things happened to me in school this past week x) the best one so far:

GP Lecture
besides my constant daydream induced grinning and my furry purple pen, i was being perfectly normal in lecture :D so i was mildly horrified when the lecturer suddenly looked my way and glared.

'You! Talking and talking.. the polka dot St. Margaret's girl! Stand up!'

OMG =x

HAHAHA but we all had a good laugh :D So no biggie, except random people at school have started calling me st. polka dots, margaret, st. polka dot margaret's etc.. when they see me :(( jokingly, of course :D hahahh. way to go bev!

i spent the better part of today cam-whoring and thinking.. and thinking and thinking. and thinking more. ((:

























greatness, personified.




I LOVE SRJC! ;)

James. Johnson. Lionel. Amanda. Suyin.. everyone else in Bismarck OG and dance! You guys are the best bunch of people ever, and I feel blessed to know you guys ((:

Just got home from the movie music and lyrics with Johnson. Had so much fun the the guys today playing bang at mind cafe before dance (: and swinging and climbing all over the place at the playground too. i love talking to you guys.

xoxo.




say hello to my new pencilbox ((:






Hello there =) I'm writing some sort of incoherent, random book that is really just a compilation of some of my (very) intense and more private thoughts =op If you have nothing better to do, click here.

Anyways. Read of the day:

This baiting of a fading star is cruel

Tracy McVeigh
Sunday February 18, 2007
The Observer

Judgemental, nasty and moralising, the American media has been laying into Britney Spears from the moment her virginal image was sullied by then boyfriend Justin Timberlake telling a pushy chat show hostess that they had, in fact, slept together. In the past few years this dreamgirl has broken down in tears on live television at least three times, wept her way through several magazine interviews and regularly over the past four years spoken of being an 'emotional wreck'. She's been mocked for her weight, for smoking, for having her baby on her lap as she drove away from photographers, for taking her toddler to a beach in the sun, and sneered at for her choice of husband, her attention-seeking outfits and for flashing no-pants to delighted paparazzi.

The man she hooked up with after her marital break-up was so worried Spears was 'not ready' for a new relationship that he escorted her from nightclub to bed for six weeks before flogging his story of her instability.
Bette Midler pronounced her a 'slut'. Misogynist pundits turned up on American TV to declare her a bad mother.

Even for a rich, pretty, eighth best-selling female artist in US history, that's a toxic dose of human bile. Its obvious that if not under a doctor-prescribed chemical cosh, Spears has been self-medicating with alcohol and hanging out with a shallow crowd, who may be her own age, but certainly don't have kids or custody battles to cope with and are not averse to sniping behind their well-manicured hands at her dodgy frocks and puffy ankles. She's given birth twice in the space of a year, her marriage is over.

Now she's gone for self-defiling, her once-golden locks hitting the floor along with the American dream she represented. And then, even as she was clearly recognisable as a woman in self-harming mode, a tattooist gave her two 'really cute' permanent reminders of her night on the edge. As bloggers sneer at bald Britney, the story suddenly shows a nasty side of human nature. Celeb-dom is a two-sided game that no one is forced to play but that's no excuse for the rest of us to lose perspective. When a young mother spends most of her time drunk or sobbing then all bets are off, and a show of humanity is called for.

End

Give her a break! Haha..

I'm finally getting this teeshirt!:



I'm addicted to heroes!

Cheeeeeriooo =)




Valentine's day is a ridiculous charade, the ignorant masses are manipulated by the greetings card companies into forking out millions - and for what? for the illusion of being loved.
- adrian mole: the wilderness years

=) my uneventful 14th feb:

Abigail came over to my place to swim and tan!! Perfect weather! =) Ate chips and gummies while lying on the sun tanning deck. Lazed around the jacuzzi. Took photos! =op And gabbed about guys.



Dinner with mel jon nick tim and austen at the lagoon. Was too full with chips and gummies to have anything proper. Shared hokkien mee and chicken with mel =) The satay man is scary!

Down to marina to meet derong darren and rach =o) jem joined later. awesome time chilling by the esplanade with the night breeze and loads of couples making out around us. HAHA. derong started this amusing conversation about a theory he supposedly got off the net =op i've tried, but i simply can't phrase it in words. at least not here. but ask and i will tell you =op it sounded absurd and really stereotypical when i first heard it, but when i began to think about it in depth it proved respectable and ironically true =) chilled some more at the fullerton bar. we had a ball of a time ordering things we couldn't pronounce =o) i had the biggest club sandwich ever! haha!

anyway. my legs are sore from today's futile CNY shopping efforts =( Mum is nagging non stop about me having nothing to wear. Will have to whip up something! My phone is officially dead.

blah =)




Hello blog =)

English A2
Science (chemistry/biology) A2
Food and Nutrition A2
Geography B3
Combined humanities B3
Mathematics C6

Scary how a subject singlehandedly does all the damage.

Anyway have you ever felt so devalued by someone who once was closest to you? Have you ever looked into that person's eyes and instead of finding comfort and familiarity, found affectional vacuum?

Knew the signs
Wasn't right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool

So confused,
My heart’s bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn’t see
We were never meant to be

Catch myself
From despair
I could drown
If I stay here
Keeping busy everyday
I know I will be okay

But I was
So confused,
My heart’s bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn’t see
We were never
Meant to be

So much hurt,
So much pain
Takes awhile to regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time,
You’ll be out of my mind
And I’ll be over you

But now I’m so confused,
My heart’s bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach,
So far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn’t see
We were never meant to be

Out of reach,
So far
You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see
There’s a life out there
For me.




East Coast is the shizz =)


Learning how to ride... X)


Here I go!



Josephine and I are forming a group of 6 for the windsurfing course at east coast sea sports club =) It's $55 for membership and course. Anyone?? =)

Cheerioooo =)




we've grown so far apart.

what's a girl to do when she's tried her hardest?





After work, Jo and I had a much anticipated work out time at planet fitness :D Hahaha it's seriously cool that I have a free pass till Feb 14th! Thanks to Jo =) Didn't do much today though cause we had to head to east coast to register for the windsurfing course! So we chatted all the way and somehow our conversation digressed and we found ourselves talking about (what else?)guys. Some of the greatest conversations ever come unexpected =)So anyway we checked out cable-skiing :D And we were on our way to the sea sports association when it started to drizzle quite heavily.. so we went back to her place for dinner =) Will have to sign up another day. Her Mum cooks some mean Indonesian food man =) Love her chilli to bits! I also spent half an hour wandering aimlessly around the Bayshore/Costa Del Sol area(no surprise here). It is not exactly the easiest place to navigate your way out of at night. =op Ended up walking right into a dead end that led into the Bayshore park condo HAHA so I had to walk all the way out again. I swear I'm never moving away from the east. And if I had a choice, I'd get a place at The Bayshore or Costa Del Sol in the future. The Bayshore is simply charming, and the views from the full length windows of Costa Del Sol are entirely picturesque!! X) I like.. not to mention the fact that they're just a stone's throw away from the sand, sun and sea!!! =)

I could get used to this.

Cheerios =) xoxo. B.




=))




















Disneyland Hong Kong =) Loads more but having problems uploading them! The rest of the pics up soon! x)
















It was comical how Adda and I (very)unintentionally found an unlikely streak of common ground between us yesterday at work =) It started with a mere fleeting statement that led to a highly amusing and entertaining conversation about a particular subject for which, we came to find, we shared common sentiments =) HAHAHA

Work has been fun =) Matthew has (finally)started bringing in new items to the store so everyday has had its own surprises since =) It was nice seeing Nicole and her friend again at the shop today! They came by and bought the pretty daydream wallets =) If you're reading this nicole, I miss you! Loads to catch up on =) Josephine also came by and I probably scared the living daylight out of her mum when I saw Jo and started squealing =) HAHA anyway Jo bought the grey version of my army green rusty 3/4 pants =)She is giving me her free planet fitness pass so I can go with her when she goes for gym/classes. And she is also officially my long-awaited windsurfing partner =) Am so excited!

I miss everyone terribly though. If you guys are reading.. Amelia, Daphne, Rachelle, Serene, cell girls!, and besty.. I really miss you guys. I've not spent time with you all lately =( Am doing my best to work it out.

Recent events have revealed many new things about myself. I have seen (and felt) enough to say that I am considerably changed in some ways, although I'm not sure it's a change I am entirely warming up to. Everything is changing, everyone is changing, the wheels are in motion. Now, more than ever.




In the past week, I have:


1. Scared the hell out of an innocent air stewardess by jerking and yelping aloud as I awoke suddenly on the plane X)
2. Slept on a windowsill for 5 consecutive nights
3. Singlehandedly finished 5 packets of chips at one go. OMG
4. Been to disneyland! It seriously felt like home
5. Learned the art of shameless bargaining. $168 to $50. Do the math! =)
6. Hiked up a mountain in boots, a skirt and a teeshirt (in winter)
7. Hit bucketfulls of balls at the new golf course in the chilly winter weather!
8. Lounged on glamourous sofas on the top of a skyscraper chilling to jazz with the winter breeze in my hair
9. Read half of 'We need to talk about Kevin'. It's a fantastic book!
10. Seen domestic cows! They're scary..
11. Taken pictures with Chip, Dale, Mickey Mouse, Mulan, Mushu, Goofy, Pluto... X)
12. Been scalded silly in the shower with hot water that turned ice cold the next minute
13. Had the most incredible food ever, needless to say.


Hong Kong was a blast. Photos up soon =) Cheerios!




1. childlike, but often mistaken to be childish and immature
2. curious by nature, constantly in search of new experiences. People think i am flighty and impractical
3. too open with people, am judged.
4. trust too easily, usually end up learning the hard way that people cant be trusted
5. submissive, often a pushover
6. think for others too much.
7. always do whats best for everyone but myself.
8. give 110% of what i am to everyone around me. it gets slammed back in my face, and i have nothing left to give.



why be a nice girl? nice girls get burned. nobody appreciates nice girls. guys dump nice girls for bitches. the girls who get it good, are actually those who dont give a damn about anything or anyone around them but only care about themselves and what they want. and strange and wrong as it may seem, they seem to get it.


i need to think of myself for once instead of everyone else. i need to feel worthwhile again.




' I hope truly that in the year ahead you will come to resolve that burden in your heart. You are an independant, pretty and amazing girl. Continue to be that in the coming year!'


The sweetest words uttered this christmas.











Hello all! =) Just came back from my night run awhile ago =op Been running for the past three days and tonight's run was especially refreshing, with the chilly air and light wind blowing against my face, and I'm finally re-awakening my runner instincts that have been subdued lately due to long term neglect =x I knew it was all coming back to me when I was doing my 3rd round around the estate, and I felt what I have not in more than a year (since I left MGS), the oh-so-inexplicably-wonderful feeling of muscle exhaustion slowly but tangibly morphing into adrenaline! =op Was blissfully energised and took off like some over-fueled rocket.. =op

Haha anyway today was unusually productive! =) Was supposed to hit vivo city with amelia today to celebrate our second last day of being classmates haha but in the end people were getting caught for leaving school early, so she was stuck at school, so sorry vivo! Another time =) Anyway I hopped over to esplanade library for awhile.. studied 4 chapters of chem! =) Haha organic chem, mole, the works. Nearly froze to death, haha so anyway icicled me hobbled out of the library frozen but content with the amount of work I managed to get done =) Got on the train and headed down to orchard where I began my fruitless dress hunt for the upcoming weddings!! Which happen to be hastily drawing near, and I am still dressless! =x Anyway today was my most wonderful shopping experience ever. Let me fill you in =)

1st stop: Ballerina La Tida at Delfi Orchard. Went there in hopes of finding something pretty, formal enough but not cliche. The shopkeeper was so nice, he let me try all the dresses I fancied, even those that weren't supposed to be selling yet so in a way he gave me a little preview of the next collection. They were all gorgeous! But too heavy for weddings I figured, but nonetheless totally gorgeous =op Was just done trying the last dress when he brought out this dress he though would suit me, and for a brief moment there, time stopped. It is the definition of my dream dress! Totally girly, demure with pretty intricate lace and so ballerina-esque, and white. But as almost all seemingly perfect things or circumstances do, there was a catch.. which took the form of 5 characters printed on the back of a tag, $1100. Somebody shoot me with a pink straberry flavoured pistol! I was devastated needless to say =(

2nd stop: Nike at Wheelock place. Dropped by to pick up two pairs of dry-fit socks for my mum and myself =) Was instructed by my mum to use the nike vouchers she passed to me. So I was about to pay for the socks, when the saleslady informed me that the voucher could only be used at millenia walk.. haha i was quite embarassed for not READING THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS before flashing it in the saleslady's face like it was some kind of thousand dollar bill. Haha anyway I sheepishly took the vouchers back and thanked her, but what she did next showed such initiative that won my immediate admiration. She called the millenia branch and offered to send over the two pairs of socks to them (cause millenia was out of stock) so I could use the voucher there! This gesture was totally unexpected, and what's more, for two miserably pairs of socks! Was so impressed with her fantastic attitude and thanked her profusely of course =o)

3rd stop: Rusty at parkway. Took 36 to parkway with the intention of buying dinner (which wasn't fulfilled in the end, haha). Decided to pop by the rusty store to see if my jacket which had been sent for length alteration on tuesday was ready for collection. So I went in and asked the guy if it had arrived yet, and he checked and told me very nicely, no. So I shop hopped for awhile, visited nike and adidas (i want the liverpool stuff!neat!), and on my way downstairs I happened to pass by rusty again. I was mildly shocked when the sales guy in rusty suddenly called out my name from inside the store, I turned around to see him running out of the store and asking me, 'you're beverly right?' HAHAHA kinda wierd, but anyway he walked me into the store and explained that after I left the store earlier, he called the alteration centre and they said it would be ready for collection by tomorrow or monday latest. Hahaha what really struck me here, was that calling the alteration centre was not something he had to do.. he had already checked (very thoroughly) for my order and it had not arrived, so a normal sales person would leave it at that. But he went beyond the call of duty and phoned the centre to double check, and he even confirmed my name and everything. Was very impressed! Haha anyway while I was in the shop I spotted another rusty top that I liked, so I tried it on and he went all out to help me pick the right size, colour even though the store was quite crowded, he was able to very skillfully attend to the various needs of the customers. Anyway by the time I tried on all the colours all the customers left. HAHA =) So i reserved it. Under normal circumstances you would have to pay a 50% deposit to reserve. But I left my money at home, and only had a measely $10 note left. So he offered to reserve it for me without any charge at all, and even told me that I could just pop by when I had the money and pay for the top. How nice is that? He was really friendly too and told me that retail therapy never fails =) Haha commendable!

4th stop: A factory outlet store neat marine parade. Bought 3 fab items for $24 altogether =)

Haha after all that I headed home and did my night run =) And opened the mailbox after that to behold, an envelope addressed to me, specifically the two necklaces I ordered from mygirlyaffair online =o)

So today was a blast. It feels like one of those days where each action to its next is seamless, everything seems choreographed to perfection. Guess it's one of those perfect days for me =) While running, I realised that the off days make me appreciate the perfect ones even more. =) I'm a happy girl!

I will knock off soon to get a good night's rest for tomorrow.. a.k.a GRADUATION. I have mixed feelings about graduating.. but I'm glad to be moving on to the next stage of my life =) Will definitely hold dear all the memories and lessons brought about during secondary school.. and I will celebrate graduation by ordering (for the last time) the yummy gyozas from the noodle stall =o) Honestly, they are the only edible things in the canteen. Haha it's time for the typical graduating song cliche: As we go on, we remember all the times we had together. And as our lives change, from whatever, we will still be friends forever.

Was talking to JonE on msn just now and we were talking about life and having God as our focus in the midst of everything we go through. And he sent me this song, 'The stand', and the words are beautiful. It really reflects the attitude of wanting to yield ourselves completely to him, simply because it's all we can do, once we've experienced the immaculate, inexplicable love, glory and power of God. =)

Wow this is a long entry! My longest one to date, maybe! =o)

I'll stand with arms wide, heart abandoned, in awe of the one who gave it all. I'll stand, my soul, Lord, to you surrendered, all I am is yours!




O level people, study hard okay =) We're all in this together! *prances around dancing to high school musical*

Hahaha Charis is coming over to my place later to work on the dance =)




What can I do - Paul Baloche

When I see the beauty of a sunset's glory,
Amazing artistry across the evening sky
When I feel the mystery of a distant galaxy
It awes and humbles me to be loved
By a God so high

What can I do, but thank you?
What can I do but give my life to you?
Hallelujah, hallelujah
What can I do, but praise you?
Everyday, make everything I do
A hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah

When I hear the story of a God of mercy
Who shared humanity and suffered by our side
Of the cross they nailed you to,
That could not hold you
Now you're making all things new
By the power of your risen life

What can I do, but thank you?
What can I do but give my life to you?
Hallelujah, hallelujah
What can I do, but praise you?
Everyday, make everything I do
A hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah


Photo time =)


















=) Cheerios




I'm not the one you want, babe
I'll only let you down

It ain't me, babe
No, no, no, it ain't me, babe
It ain't me you're looking for, babe.

- Walk the line




Loved like it would never hurt, trusted because I had faith (too much?), cared with every inch of my being, gave my heart away (too easy?), understood, compromised, gave in, sacrificed, put myself, my life on hold. Sometimes I wonder why.

'Perhaps in disappointment we are perfectly matched.' - Corpse Bride, Tim Burton

Wow.. what contrast in mood I see between this entry and the last. Haha.. =) Well I'm really sorry about the mood, guys. Will try to cheer up =(




Thank you for the cards and presents everyone!!! Love you all =)




Hady won Singapore idol instead of Jonathan.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GAH =( I need a bar of chocolate. Rachel and I are in mourning..

Hmmmm may have a belated birthday dinner, maybe Saturday if everyone's free =)




I know this is a little late, but behold our wonderful work of art! =) Teachers' day cake for the leaders. Wheeeeeeee =)



Will be flying off to hong kong this Friday for my birthday =) Will be flying off in the morning and back at night haha =) Any suggestions as to what I can do there anyone?? =op I'm looking forward to timsum..

Finally found the 'what a girl wants' dvd today! GAH =)

Click here for my new livejournal account =)

Have suddenly developed a strong liking for rainbow-esque themes and pictures =)

Miraculously managed to nail 72% (29/40) for my geog paper 1 =)

This entry is random and every sentence ends with =).

Cheerios!

xoxo. Bev-erage =op




Prelims are over! Time to chill out for a couple of days before I start crazy-mugging for Os.. =)



Watched the devil wears prada for the fourth (not kidding) time today =x Am tired! Gonna go sleep now good night everyone =)

I carry your heart. I carry it in my heart.

xoxo. B.




I am less than 12 hours away from the official beginning of prelims =( And possibly in a state of subconscious denial of their arrival. I suppose the initial dread is natural, and even more so, the lingering feelings of apprehension and insufficient-studying-induced regret. Can't wait for all this to be over.

Anyway this week has been somewhat turbulent, wavering between extremes in terms of situations as well as my feelings towards them. What I really need is time to take a step back and look at things the way they really are, but I guess the untimely arrival of the exams will inevitably postpone my very needed self-analysis and alone time. One of my favourite songs by Corrine May comes to mind..

I feel like a little girl
trying to conquer the whole wide world.
Everybody wants a piece of me
and I just don't know where to turn..
I've got work piled up to my head
And all I wanna do is jump in bed
and wash away my troubles with lemonade..


Haha well the lyrics match my feelings really well except the part about the lemonade =o) Anyway, quite expectedly, the start of prelims brought to mind the very short time I have left till the actual o levels.. and more frightening yet, the prospect of the inevitable end of secondary school life, the remaining days of which are fast hastening to their end. Makes me think about the changes I've gone through during my time in secondary school, during the past 2 years particularly.. Things I've learned, the ways in which I've changed, regrets, and most importantly spiritual growth. Looking back, there are countless things that I realise could not have come to pass if not for God's hand upon my life, and I'm simply in awe of God's unwavering faithfulness and love that never changes though we are so unworthy and undeserving =)

Have alot to say, but my thoughts come in no particular order so I'm sorry for the incoherence =o) Haha anyway there's been some speculation about me and things related to BGRs lately. I'm glad I've learned alot in the past year, though it was a long struggle but that break up really taught me many things about myself, and more importantly what a godly relationship should be like. For now, I've decided that staying friends with guys is so much better =) I think staying away from the heat and exigencies of serious relationships really allows us to get to know others in a far more wholesome and godly way, and it becomes clearer with time whether or not a person is really someone you'd want to be in a serious, long term and godly relationship with in future. And it also gives us alot more time to devote to our daily walk with God, ministry and other important commitments.

Enough about that =o) I should really knock off and get some rest now. All the best to everyone having exams =) Study hard, rest well and know that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us! =)

A thousand times I've failed,
Still Your mercy remains
And should I stumble again,
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting,
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending,
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else,
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself,
In bringing You praise
Everlasting,
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending,
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out

Everlasting,
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending,
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

Cheerios! =)




You are not a God created by human hands
you are not a God dependent on any mortal man
you are not a God in need of anything we can give
by your plan, that's just the way it is

You are God alone
from before time began
you were on your throne
you are God alone
and right now
in the good times and bad
you are on your throne
you are God alone

You're the only God who's power, none can contend
you're the only God who's name and praise will never end
you're the only God who's worthy of everything we can give
you are God, that's just the way it is

You are God alone
from before time began
you were on your throne
you are God alone
and right now
in the good times and bad
you are on your throne
you are God alone

You're unchangeable,
unshakeable
unstoppable
that's what you are..


I stand in awe of you!




All majesty,
To the God of creation!

To all the girls who helped out in one way or another baking the cake for the leaders and making the cards, a big thank you!! =) The brownie was quite successful =) Not to mention attractive due to our highly innovative addition of chupa-chups! Haha =) More chocolate sauce next time, gals! The melted chocolate hardened! =( Lol

Watched the devil wears prada for the second time today with Charis, Leona, Lucia, Serene, Nigel, JonE, Nick, Jeremy, Jovin and Timothy =) Haha I quite like the show, but the guys seemed bored out of their skulls or something. Haha! After that, the girls left to go home, but serene and I stayed on for dinner. Derong came and met us for dinner =) With a considerable amount of bickering about how to get to the esplanade from millenia walk (derong was insisting on going the wrong way!) and also a highly entertaining conspiracy ;) haha, we made our way to glutton's bay! I want more of that hokkien mee! And stingray. =)

Tomorrow: Jamming with the boys, studying. =)

Wheeeeeeee =)

Have a good trip sasha!! =)




My feelings, exactly =) I love this song.





Everybody wants to be loved
Every once in a while
We all need someone to hold on to
Just like a helpless child
Can you whisper in my ear
Let me know its alright

It's been a long time coming down this road
and now I know what I've been waiting for
and like a lonely highway
I'm trying to get home
Love's been a long time coming.

You can love for a lifetime
You could love for a day
You can think you've got everything but
Everything is nothing when you throw it away
Then you look in my eyes
And I have it all once again

It's been a long time coming down this road
and now I know what I've been waiting for
and like a lonely highway
I'm trying to get home
Love's been a long time coming.

Didn't know I was lost
Till you found me
Didn't know I was blind
But now I see

Can you whisper in my ear
Let me know its alright

It's been a long time coming down this road
And now I know what I've been searching for
Been a long, long highway
And now I see
Love's been a long time
Oh been a long time
Love's been a long time coming.


Have a good week everybody! Cheerios =)

xoxo. B.




Am I just seeing what I want to see
Or could you really be..
someone to have and hold
with all my heart and soul
please tell me now,
before I fall in love.


This week has been exciting enough so far =) Busy as a bee studying(trying to) for prelims and planning things with the girls(not to mention going hyper while at it!) =) Haha.. have been perpetually late for school this whole week, though I've not gotten booked once, thanks to my ingenious(and daring) almost foolproof trick =) Haha if you're one who's always late for school and chalking up demerits like nobody's business, you might wanna ask me bout this one =op Oh no.. I'm terrible!

I know this is random, but WHY IS JOAKIM GOMEZ STILL IN SINGAPORE IDOL?! Gah =( He's giving me an earache.

Amelia is bringing the pretty rainbow polka dotted skirt tomorrow =) (My only)Incentive to go to school! Hahahahaha =) Anyway, there was no teacher in class for SS, so amelia and I went to the library.. and I watched half of what a girl wants (amanda bynes), it's surprisingly good! Stopped halfway cause we had to get back to class, but I am dying to get the vcd =) So I got home at 4, went swimming and fell asleep by the poolside till 5.30 =/ Haha whoops! =) Will knock off soon to continue with my work.


Haven't done this in a long time! SHOUTOUTS

Besty - Hello girl =) Haha really enjoy our talks that go late into the night (and wee hours of the morning).. I still have so much to tell you!! =)

Amelia - Sorry for the REALLY LATE birthday present man.. will give it to you asap okay =) Anyway thanks for helping me meet Pearlene =) Remind me to photocopy notes for you.. and I love the skirt! =) Go for prom leh. =)

Sasha - Hey girl =) Sorry you won't be catching the forbidden city with us =( Have a ball in Thailand though! Shop away on my behalf!! =op

Charis - Haha exciting stuff coming up girl! =) And yayy you got into TJ! Happy for you girl, thank God =)

Peiqi - I SEEEEEE YOUU THROUGH MY WINDOW... haha you've gotten addicted to it! =o) Victim of the bevolution.. haha! When I first did it you thought I was crazy =op

Rachel - Posh spice! Hello =) I like watching miss swan with you. And trying to act like her at Macs while ordering fries! ;) HAHAHAHAHA anyway remember to press on and keep praying =)

Daphne - It's been so long since we've caught up! Really miss hanging out =( Anyway exams coming soon, hope you're having fun in mass comm(sure you are actually!), will meet you up soon girl =)




Exciting week =)




Imagine...

Your favourite musical is in town.
You hear of it, you're excited
Every inch of your body is reeling with eager anticipation of it.
You rush to the nearest ticketing booth
All the good seats have been sold out.
Faster than you expected.
The only seats left are right at the back,
and you know you can't see much from back there.
But you'll still have to pay the full price.
To others it would seem ridiculous.
You think the world of this musical
Though the seat doesn't promise a good view at all
You buy it anyway, with all the money you have.
The day of the performance arrives.
You pick out your best clothes and shoes.
You arrive at the theatre an hour early to grab a bite
visit the washroom
you want to be seated early
you can't wait for the show to begin.
You arrive at the entrance of the concert hall
you see the name of the musical you are about to watch flashed over the digital screen, you get excited all over again
you look around expecting to see a large crowd
dressed to the hilt, and waiting to be seated
you wonder if you've come to the wrong place
or gotten the time mixed up
the foyer is empty
it is a moment of sickly surprise
suddenly a door swings open
if not for the tag reading 'usher' pinned on his crumpled teeshirt
you would have mistaken the man for a cleaner.
he leans on the half open door
with his mouth full of a half-chewed sandwich
he says
You're early
His words insult you.
Is it not normal to arrive early for a show you've been dying to watch? One you paid a large sum of money for?
You find yourself being led into the concert hall by the man who is supposedly the usher;however you are still aghast at his shodiness and have yet to accept that this man is in fact an usher
Topping that,
you realise that he is the only usher.
And seconds after you are greeted by something so devastating, it seems unreal
you are in fact walking into an empty concert hall
where the stage lights are flickering
and to your horror
musicians and cast are lying down on the stage, sleeping
some are talking on their mobile phones
some are just eating and drinking, leaving their mess on the stage
they give you a vacant stare as your eyes meet theirs
you feel ready to bolt out the door
you don't believe you paid so much for this madness
you demand to see the manager of the production
the manager walks out from backstage
and announces that the show will not go on tonight
because
'the cast is simply not in the right mood.
so sorry we wasted your time. drive safe.'
he turns around and walks back to the stage
you beg him to let you see at least one bit of it
with a grunt
he agrees
and walks over to the conductor
he whispers in the conductor's ear
the conductor shrugs and nods,
and begins to get the orchestra members together on stage
you find yourself a seat in the front row right in the middle
you've got a perfect view..
of crew members reluctantly clearing their things off stage
and members of the orchestra strolling to their seats
without the slightest hint of enthusiasm
or acknowledgement of the well dressed gentleman in the front row
waiting to hear them play.
tears well up in your eyes
as they begin to play
with instruments so obviously out of tune
you can bear it no more.
slowly,
you make your way out of the concert hall
not only have you missed out on your favourite musical of all time,
you have also paid a full price
for nothing.


This is something I've been thinking about a great deal this week. Our lives as Christians are sometimes (or most of the time) no different from this illustration of a man who willingly pays everything he has, for nothing (the man signifying Jesus, the cast and crew, us). It may seem harsh, but I've come to realise it's true. And I get so frustrated, when our lives are nothing but a mockery of the one who loves us and saves us and constantly picks us up and meets us where we are, never looking save with love and mercy upon us. What or who do our lives resound for? They should resound only for the one who is worthy. He paid a debt he did not owe, because we owed a debt we could not pay. This is why everyone needs him. And everyone needs to not only believe in him, but live for him. Him who laid it all down, for us.

If we could see how much you're worth
your power, your might
your endless love
then surely we would never cease
to praise you




This is where you dump your old literature work when your computer is mysteriously deleting folders at random, and your printer isn't working =)


2. In The English teacher, how does Narayan convey the notion that it is futile to cling on to earthly attachments?


In the novel, Narayan plots events such that Krishna loses the people he is emotionally dependent on. For example, the demise of his wife Susila, whom Krishna’s emotional ties are centered around, ‘for me the greatest reality is this and nothing else…. Nothing else will worry or interest me in life hereafter.’

After Susila’s death, the transferred dependence from Susila to Leela is evident, ‘ So much so that I refused to allow her to be taken away by her grandparents and decided to keep her with me.’ Here, Krishna becomes dependent on his daughter, as she is his only connection with Susila that he has to hold on to. ‘To this end, I concentrated my whole being. From morning till night this kept me busy. I had to keep her cheerful and keep myself cheerful too lest she should feel unhappy.’ He tried to take his mind off thoughts of Susila. However, it proved impossible as ‘In the darkness I often felt an echo of her voice and speech or sometimes her moaning and delirious talk in sickbed.’

Narayan demonstrates that counting on someone’s physical presence brings joy but is short lived, and Krishna frequently plummets into misery and despair, for example, when the medium had gone away, leaving Krishna with nobody to help him communicate with Susila. Krishna was disappointed and once again plunged into depression, ‘For the first time in months, I felt desolate. The awful irresponsiveness of Death overwhelmed me again. It unnerved me. All the old moods returned now. It looked as though they had been bondage all these days and were now suddenly unleashed. I was overwhelmed.’

Narayan also conveys the futility of clinging on to earthly attachments by Krishna’s constant longing for Susila. Krishna finds that he is unable to achieve it, and feels miserable as a result. Narayan presents such a dependency to be an obstacle to transcendence, ‘rare, immutable joy’.

Susila’s death is also purposefully situated in the middle of the novel, and in this way Narayan conveys the message that the main character, Susila, doesn’t have to be physically present for the story to go on, and that death does not equate the end of a relationship, specifically, that between Krishna and Susila.

Narayan also shows that it is useful not to cling on the earthly attachments by developing Krishna into a more mature character as the novel progresses, as can be seen when he gives up his selfish wants and lets Leela go, as he realises that ‘she must have her own life’. Narayan also shows how accepting the ‘law of life’ brings Krishna peace, ‘ All struggle and misery in life is due to our attempt to arrest this law or get away from it or in allowing ourselves to be hurt by it. The fact must be recognized.’ This ‘law of life’ holds true though it is depressing, but yet brings joy when accepted.

Narayan links Krishna’s resignation from the college directly to the event of his transcendence, conveying the notion that it is when Krishna learns to let go of his earthly emotional attachments that he is set free.




Hello everybody =) It's wierd that I should be blogging at this unearthly hour (especially after 2 days of non-stop partying and fun hahahahaha) but since I'm hyper.. I shall try to channel all this energy into penning down an informative blog entry for my avid readers. HAHA =o)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELIA!!!!
This crazy woman has officially turned 16 =)
To celebrate, we skipped school and went out on Thursday.. Went for a tim sum buffet =) It was yummy.. haha and we kept ordering the wrong things!! Ended up having to eat stuff we didn't even know we ordered hahaha like the spicy and gross chicken feet and the carrot cake which was super filling =( and CHAR SIEW PAU. I nearly died.

We emerged from the restaurant like two sickening potatoes man. We were full and laughing like crazy I felt like puking... hahaha and we walked off our tim sum by walking from city hall to clarke quay.. and back to city hall.. then to marina square.. Imagine my agony.. having to walk all over in my pointy high heels =( The best part was when we sat outside marina square having our own PHOTOSHOOT hahaha we were attracting truckloads of attention with our mad laughter and inappropriate, not to mention very unskillful use of the camera.. I nearly died of embarassment and laughter.. BUT melia accidentally deleted all out photos away =( GAHHHHHHHH. This is the only one that was saved:



I got cut off it's a sucky picture but it's all we have =(


NATIONAL DAY...

Was a blur as usual haha everything happened so quickly.. but it was fun =) WE MISSED THE FIREWORKS GAHHHHHH!! =( We could have caught them at the poolside but we were all upstairs.. and too slow to get down to the poolside in time haha sad. But anyway, food was nice =) Thanks to all the wonderful gals who helped out in the kitchen.. till the kitchen became so smoky haha! It looked like there was a smoke machine or something.. quite funny =) HAHAHA good job girls! We should make the boys cook next time.. =) So we ate and watched Singapore idol and hot chick.. HAHAHA i love that show... after most of the people had gone home a few people stayed behind with hopes of going out to catch a midnight movie/play lan BUT in the end they ended up playing golf with all sorts of variations hahaha they're nuts! =) Never knew a golf mat could provide so much entertainment.. anyway after 1350426537465 centuries we came to our first decision for the night.. and we decided to watch 50 first dates in my room.. Was really quite tired by the time we started watching haha but it was sweet =) And here's the highlight of the show in script form =) :

Characters: Derong, Nick, Jovin, Jeremy, Rachel, Sheena and myself.

Silence (characters watch intently)

The silence in the room is broken by a very undignified (and unmanly) shriek...

DERONG: COCKROACH! COCKROACH! AHHHHHHH! (Jumps up and starts freaking out)
NICK: AHHHHHH WHERE?! (Jumps up and starts freaking out)
RACHEL: AHHHHHHHHHH
JOVIN: AHHHHHHHHH
SHEENA: AHHHHHHHHH
JEREMY: (says nothing but stands up and peers sheepishly at the other side of the bed where derong was now going crazy)
ALL CHARACTERS: (Pounce onto the bed, shrieking)
BEV: (Lags for 5 seconds)........ AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Jumps up and switches the light on, then dashes out to the backyard to grab the insect spray!Returned to the room to find the remaining characters frantically in search of the cockroach)
RACHEL: THERE THERE THERE AHHHHHHHHHH! (Pointing at the pillow)
DERONG: (Pushes the bed away) AHHHHH! I SEE IT!! AHHHH!!
JOVIN,JEREMY,NICK,SHEENA,BEV: (Gaping helplessly at derong)
BEV: SPRAY IT!!!!
DERONG: (Presses the button as though for dear life) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Jumps up and down)

After 5 minutes of trauma, characters peer over the bed in triumph over the (now)lifeless creature.

THE END

HAHAHAHA anti climax =)

Sheena, Jeremy, Jovin and Rachel left my place at 2.30 am.. Derong, Nick and myself went to macs to have a bite.. but halfway there, it started raining really heavily and we were forced to make a long sprint to macs! Hahahaha walau =) Reached home at 5, cleared up till 5.30 and took my long awaited shower =o) Plopped right onto my bed and fell into immediate sleep. =)

DAY AFTER NATIONAL DAY

Woke up at 12 when wendy called me.. was barely awake while talking to her I think I was just talking rubbish haha! =) Tried to go back to sleep after that, but it was kinda wierd so I got up and walked over to kampong arang to have lunch with Calvin, Wendy, Charis, Mel and Ben.. after that I got my books from home and went to tim centre to 'study' with mel. HAHA! =op I think Calvin and Ben must have thought we were nuts or something.. we were in the car on the way back to church with Wendy, Mel and myself in the backseats.. and I started talking about nuts =) (that sounds wrong=x) So i called mel a peanut x) Then mel called me butter! Ahahahaha then we started playing this word game was super funny...... Calvin called me a coconut =( So we settled down at tim centre.. did math for awhile.. then mel and I started doing something we used to do in sec 1 hahaha we raided the cupboards and fridge and drank milo.. and ate biscuits =-) Ate alot! =( THEN we took the guitar out.. and started playing random songs. Started doing cheerleader jumps! Ahahahahah! =) Around 4.. we started playing foozball.. and I nearly died of excitement or something =x

PLANET SHAKERS

Was alright. When we first entered the hall it felt like some club, didn't like the way it seemed no different from secular events and parties. Anyway we sang some nice songs from the new album =) But we only sang about 6 songs in total.. and the worst thing.. was that the crowd was shouting ENCORE!!! And they didn't even play one more song =( Shucks... So we had dinner after that at the airport hahaha peiqi, rachel and I went totally HYPER =) Ate at popeye's.. I had a lemon tea wasn't hungry. I couldn't get the 'I seeeeeeee you' gesture out of my head and I kept terrorising people with the gesture hahahaha should have seen ed cheah's face!!! =) Walau on the train, he pretended that he knew what game rachel and I were playing.. and decided to play along.. and in the process got so excited that he whacked me right into the window!! =op Hhahahahaha. So after that we went off early, cause peiqi had to go home. Three of us (rachel, peiqi and me) chased after what we thought was bus 36 and we arrived at the bus terminal breathless and panting to realise that we were chasing after bus 34 =( HAHA actually it was kinda my fault cause I was the one who started freaking out on the escalator and running down to the terminal... OOPS =) So we waited.. and waited.. and we saw! Two 36 buses!! YAYYY! =) All three of us stretched out our arms to stop the bus, only to recieve wierd looks from a very entertained audience who watched the two buses drive right past the 3 hopefuls, who looked at each other in sheer bewilderment.. only to realise (10 minutes after) that we were waiting at the 34 bus stop... not the 36 bus stop =( Gahhhhh. I started laughing and breaking out into song. We decided to take a cab home! So we went up the travelator.. only to find the guys coming down hahahahaha =) In the end we waited at the terminal with the guys.. till 36 finally came! And i went nuts on the bus again. I love being hyper =) But nobody was being hyper with me =( Why do I always feel like a wierdo haha by the time we got off the bus I was feeling like a real nut. Probably because I was squished by JonE and peiqi! =( Haha! Anyway I'm sorry this entry didn't make much sense! Will blog soon =) Properly.. =)

xoxo. B.




She knew that she would weep again when she saw the kind, tender hands folded in death; the face that had never looked save with love upon her, fixed and gray and dead. But she saw beyond that bitter moment a long procession of years to come that would belong to her absolutely. And she opened and spread her arms out to them in welcome.

There would be no one to live for during those coming years; she would live for herself. There would be no powerful will bending hers in that blind persistence with which men and women believe they have a right to impose a private will upon a fellow-creature. A kind intention or a cruel intention made the act seem no less a crime as she looked upon it in that brief moment of illumination.

And yet she had loved him - sometimes. Often she had not. What did it matter! What could love, the unsolved mystery, count for in face of this possession of self-assertion which she suddenly recognized as the strongest impulse of her being!

- 'The story of an hour' by Kate Chopin


Exam stress is starting to sink in, and a hefty load of awaiting revision demands that I divert my attention away from some of the silly things that I've been doing and onto full fledged studying instead. Gahhh =( It's not the studying that i dread(surprisingly), but more the lack of time to get things done.. Let's just say that alot of things are important to me and close to my heart, and there are many things that I find so difficult to put aside for this seemingly brief period of time that remains till the o levels end. Hahaha I have to admit that even giving up 'friend time' to study is just beyond me, and I guess it's because I've never seen studies as my top priority.. (guilty) =x And sometimes I find that I don't even try to give up these things to find timt to study. It's not good, and I definitely need to pray.. =)

Anyway.. 3 days of holiday this week! YAY!!! =o) Oh the joys of national day.. <3 I will try to find time to worship and practice on the guitar too. I want to play for cell =)




Having free period now cause the teachers are away supervising the musical but the comm sucks gahhhh =) Going to amelia's house later! Yayy. Hmmm I think ill be blogging on livejournal from now on, kinda sick of this blog. But let me get the layout done okay =) My lj layout is just not appearing! =( Anyway. The past few days have been rather eventful x) Haha must admit I'm slowly starting to have a good time again =) As in, really having a good time and not pretending to me because i want people to think I'm okay or anything like that.

Geography was fun =) Mrs Koh was being funnay and she kept reminding us that prelims are just 5 weeks away.. she was rubbing it in! It's getting me quite jittery and I suppose it's really a good thing huh =op I need to studyyyyy. I need a study group. Anyone? =)

9th August. A day to look forward to! Amelia's birthday + national day party at my house =) Yayyyyy! Hope it will be nice and sunny so we can swim and stuff x) Oh sunny days!




I was not the perfect girlfriend. But I really did love you. A part of me always will. Guess I just wasn't enough.



You were the closest to heaven I've ever been
I bleed just to know I'm alive




I <3 MY CHUPA CHUP CHARMS

=) Wheeeee had detention today. Was bored out of my skull.




Yesterday's entry was a mess =x Anyway, time to stock up on new reads! =) Whoopie!

REALLY WANT THIS:






Too tired to blog =)







Did some tweaking with the photos =) Anyway I'm going to bed. Am dead tired, not to mention stressed over more than I can handle right now.

beverly rachael (:
otherwise known as:
bevie, beaver, bevolution, bevo and beeevie (:
28th September 89'

Jesus!Family and friends!Pink and red roses.Creme Brulee.Swimming.Dancing and singing.Running.Movie marathons.Parties.The outdoors!Phone calls (: Hanging out with friends (:

cockroaches =(





adda
adele
amelia
bobo
bowen
charis
collin
christine
daphne
darren
derong
elaine
eunice
jolene
jonE
jonk
leon
louisa
melanie
nicole
nigel
peiqi
rachel
sasha
serene choo
serene koh
sheena
stefanie
vanessa


miss pony tale
pink wand
shimmer glamour
vision hub
fayfey
scarlet room
spring fling
my girly affair



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