((: When I get my laptop I'll upload all my pictures!! This comm will be the death of me! Rahhhhh




Winter (Cassey's dog) bit me in the stomach! Haha was quite traumatised. But he's a beautiful dog still! Belly dancing workshop was fun! Anyway I've just showered. Time to hit the homework. Econs and geog GOs plus study for econs test tomorrow! After school, I'm meeting Amelia (finally) for our dose of IKEA =O) Cheer up vian! And thanks for having me over Cass <3 style="font-weight: bold;">





Someday we'll know,
love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
why
I wasn't meant for you;
why
I was the one for you.


Oh, I need to go some place and be alone with nothing but plain objectiveness.

<3 It's times like these that make me think of that awesome snippet from 'This year's love'. Love means so many things; You make me smile. You make me laugh. You make me laugh at myself. I miss you. I hate missing you. I want to kiss you. You make me cry. I need you. I think of you. I dream of you. You make me laugh at myself. You make me happy to be me..

And it's thoughts like these that make me almost ready to make the leap.

Rah. Back to work. A butch asked me for my number today. Eeeeeuuuuurrrrrghhhhh





so you think you've got me all figured out? =O)

click here!





Hello world. Up at this hour doing work and thinking about life (as always). This blog is moving soon.



















GOLD WITH HONOURS! <3

















Home club on saturday! Real cozy place with good music =)) Was bazaar-ing with Ian, and Amelia and Angela came to visit. Wheeeee (:

Sunday night. Jeremy's place for impromptu dinner! Watched fight club, and it seriously screws with your mind but it's good! It's got some profound meaning.. Haha it's pretty abstract too but very well done =) Derong gave everyone a lift home(except darren, we dropped him off at kallang) and I had loads of fun sitting in front and being his road directory.. haha my navigation is actually not bad and I'm quite impressed with myself =)) I directed him from Jeremy's (other)house, to rach's place, to jem's place, to kallang mrt, then to my place! Hahah I had a taste of what my mum used to go through in the car with us. Pretty comical how derong was so intently watching the road, while I was frantically trying to think of how to get to the next place and which way to go by, where to take the next turn etc.. rach jem and darren were laughing and talking(darren was shrieking, really) and music from the ipod was blasting out the speakers. When I get a car, the first thing I'll do is go cruising around late at night blasting switchfoot. Oh, can't wait.

I managed to finish all my work today - plus study! Am pretty over the moon about that.. haha but I've had alot of things on my mind lately. I'm really trying to figure things out and think about what it is that I really should be doing. I guess it's just hard when you feel everyone's breathing down your neck. It does nothing but make you more confused, really. Sometimes it scares me how people you trust turn out to be completely untrustworthy, and it is disconcerting that I find myself trusting less.. and less and less.. till I wonder if there is really anybody left to trust. I will take as long as I need here, and you don't have to wait.


Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;






Oh, you, in retrospect...


It's 12.25 am and I'm eternally grateful to Ian for reciting me my chinese essay(due tomorrow)! HAHAHA =))


Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
noo hahaha im doing work
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
;)
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
writing my chinese essay
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
(still non existent)
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
HAHAHAHAHAHHA
ian - Super illegalling on 15 apr at Esplanade outdoor theatre! Motorola Super Style MIX awards! says:
wat
ian - Super illegalling on 15 apr at Esplanade outdoor theatre! Motorola Super Style MIX awards! says:
have my eyes deceived me
ian - Super illegalling on 15 apr at Esplanade outdoor theatre! Motorola Super Style MIX awards! says:
chinese essay
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
haha they have not
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
=op
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
is your chinese good?
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
mmm
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
passable i guess
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
ok! then i can ask you
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
((:
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
i shall start writing now!
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
omg how u gonna ask me
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
you are a witness to this auspicious moment in history..
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
你需要用中文字吗？
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
huh?
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
translation please ((:
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
ok so
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
im witness to you doing a chinese essay?
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
yeh!
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
=op
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
wait ah
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
1145
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
0804
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
ok set
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
WALAU
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
whats that supposed to mean
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
hahahahhaha
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
=op
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
4D ;)
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
hahahahahaha
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
OMG
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
ok faster go do your work
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
i jsut realised i totally dunno how to start!
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
*just
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
let me know what items u gonna put up for the flea market
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
doh whats the topic
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
ok i will (:
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
erm
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
my ideal jc life
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
wo li xiang zhong de something something shen huo
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
HAHA
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
我的理想初级学院生活
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
ya!
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
so smart!
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
hahaha
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
ok first sentence..
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
how to say time passes very quickly
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
HAHA
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
in a cheem way
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
x)
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
hmm
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
光阴似箭，日月如梭

ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
time is like an arrow, the days are like rockets
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
HAHAHAHAH
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
omg ok sounds cool ((:
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
what do u wanna say
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
haha! my first sentence: ren jia cang cang shuo (the cheem phrase you gave me)
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
i wanna say that time passes quickly, and just awhile ago is was doing o levels, but now im in jc
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
experiencing a whole new world
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
hahahhh
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
i fail lah =((
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
光阴似箭,日月如梭, zhuan

ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
光阴似箭，日月如梭，不久前我还在温习 水准科目，现在突然发觉我已经在初级学院有一个月多，而且不断得在吸收新经验

ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
光阴似箭，日月如梭，不久前我还在温习 'O' 水准科目，现在突然发觉我已经在初级学院有一个月多，而且不断得在吸收新经验

Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
omigosh
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
i owe you big time for this!
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
hahaha
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
i bet he'll know tis not me though
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
he knows im from clb =op
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
but hwo cares!
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
&who
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
he'
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
lol ...
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
he'll know i tried hahahhaa
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
eh wait my grammar wrong
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
光阴似箭，日月如梭，不久前我还在温习 水准科目，现在突然发觉我在初级学院已经有一个月多，而且不断得在吸收新经验.
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
thats better
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
what do the lat two words mean
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
*last
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
which last 2
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
copy and paste
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
经验
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
hahaha
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
光阴似箭，日月如梭，不久前我还在温习 'O' 水准科目，现在突然发觉我在初级学院已经有一个月多，而且不断得在吸收新经验
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
oh that
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
experience
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
oooooh ok =op
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
jing nian
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
perfecto!
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
jing1 nian4
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
:D
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
hahahaa
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
what brilliant software is this
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
urm windows language toolbar
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
its built into windows xp
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
oooooooh =op
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
can you translate to french? haha..
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
bev, focus!
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
translate no.... i was typing in chinese
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
hahahahha wow then youre a pro
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
=o)
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
huh
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
no la *shy*
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
how do i say
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
jc life turns out to be really different from secondary school life (in a good way)
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
and im really enjoying it
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
thats easy
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
我是大笨蛋
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
jc shen huo gen zong xue shen huo hen bu yi yang
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
HEY!
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
=O
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
hahhahahahhaaha
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
are u supposed to type/write in chinese?
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
yehh.. HAHA
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
mmm
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
k
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
can that sentence pass?
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
初级学院跟中学的环境和活动，真的是一个天一个地。
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
eh wait
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
mmm? (;
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
初级学院跟中学的环境和活动比起来，真的是一个天一个地。neng
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
初级学院跟中学的环境和活动比起来，真的是一个天一个地。neng
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
atrhgj
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
yay! im up to 3/4 a page!
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
x))
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
i owe you a few cans of coke
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
hahahhahahha
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
walau i should really go and brush up on my chinese
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
=O
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
so what do u have so far
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
everything you gave me..
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
HAHA
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
put together..
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
-___________________-
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
i added some words before the seocnd para though
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
i wrote:
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
guo le yi ge yue duo zai srjc li, wo fa xian " your paragraph "
Snapple fact: Beavers were once the size of bears x) says:
hahahha
ian - Super Illegalling on 15 Apr 7:30pm Esplanade Outdoor! says:
hmmm

HAHAHA I'm out, guys! Got work to do ;) As you probably can tell.. Haha!

Turn your speakers on.




' This above all; To thine own self be true.'


A fox among the shadows of the town,
Should I surrender to the arms of man?
On the blank icehills lies in wait
The fighting cold who has thrown down
His challenge. I'll not imitate
The feline compromise. I scan
With warring eyes the servile fate
Of animals who joined the heated town.

Lean-hearted lions in the concrete zoo
Grow bellies, tendons slacken in pale hide,
Their breath slows to a dying pace.
Their keepers love them? Tell me who
Would cage his love in such a place.
Where only fish are satisfied?
The keeper has a huntsman's face,
His grasping love would kill me in the zoo.

A scavenger throughout the snowing wind
I peel the sweet bark from the frozen tree
Or trap the bird with springing jaws.
The sun retreats out of my mind.
How could I give this waking pause
When death's my sleeping company?
Mad empty, licking at my sore.
I howl this bitter and unloving wind.

Furious in the savage winter day
The crimson riders hounded me from birth
Though landscapes built of thorn and stone.
Though I must be their sudden pray,
Torn to my terror's skeleton.
Or go to the forgotten earth,
I will have hunted too, alone,
I will have wandered in my handsome day.

Four seasons wrestle me, I throw them all
And live to tumble with another year
In love or battle. I'll not fly
From mindless elements and fall
A victim of the keeper's lie.
The field is mine; but still I fear
Strong death, my watching enemy,
Though seasons pass and I survive them all.

















i'm feeling terribly abstract today ((:

anyway quite a number of embarassing things happened to me in school this past week x) the best one so far:

GP Lecture
besides my constant daydream induced grinning and my furry purple pen, i was being perfectly normal in lecture :D so i was mildly horrified when the lecturer suddenly looked my way and glared.

'You! Talking and talking.. the polka dot St. Margaret's girl! Stand up!'

OMG =x

HAHAHA but we all had a good laugh :D So no biggie, except random people at school have started calling me st. polka dots, margaret, st. polka dot margaret's etc.. when they see me :(( jokingly, of course :D hahahh. way to go bev!

i spent the better part of today cam-whoring and thinking.. and thinking and thinking. and thinking more. ((:

























greatness, personified.




I LOVE SRJC! ;)

James. Johnson. Lionel. Amanda. Suyin.. everyone else in Bismarck OG and dance! You guys are the best bunch of people ever, and I feel blessed to know you guys ((:

Just got home from the movie music and lyrics with Johnson. Had so much fun the the guys today playing bang at mind cafe before dance (: and swinging and climbing all over the place at the playground too. i love talking to you guys.

xoxo.




say hello to my new pencilbox ((:






Hello there =) I'm writing some sort of incoherent, random book that is really just a compilation of some of my (very) intense and more private thoughts =op If you have nothing better to do, click here.

Anyways. Read of the day:

This baiting of a fading star is cruel

Tracy McVeigh
Sunday February 18, 2007
The Observer

Judgemental, nasty and moralising, the American media has been laying into Britney Spears from the moment her virginal image was sullied by then boyfriend Justin Timberlake telling a pushy chat show hostess that they had, in fact, slept together. In the past few years this dreamgirl has broken down in tears on live television at least three times, wept her way through several magazine interviews and regularly over the past four years spoken of being an 'emotional wreck'. She's been mocked for her weight, for smoking, for having her baby on her lap as she drove away from photographers, for taking her toddler to a beach in the sun, and sneered at for her choice of husband, her attention-seeking outfits and for flashing no-pants to delighted paparazzi.

The man she hooked up with after her marital break-up was so worried Spears was 'not ready' for a new relationship that he escorted her from nightclub to bed for six weeks before flogging his story of her instability.
Bette Midler pronounced her a 'slut'. Misogynist pundits turned up on American TV to declare her a bad mother.

Even for a rich, pretty, eighth best-selling female artist in US history, that's a toxic dose of human bile. Its obvious that if not under a doctor-prescribed chemical cosh, Spears has been self-medicating with alcohol and hanging out with a shallow crowd, who may be her own age, but certainly don't have kids or custody battles to cope with and are not averse to sniping behind their well-manicured hands at her dodgy frocks and puffy ankles. She's given birth twice in the space of a year, her marriage is over.

Now she's gone for self-defiling, her once-golden locks hitting the floor along with the American dream she represented. And then, even as she was clearly recognisable as a woman in self-harming mode, a tattooist gave her two 'really cute' permanent reminders of her night on the edge. As bloggers sneer at bald Britney, the story suddenly shows a nasty side of human nature. Celeb-dom is a two-sided game that no one is forced to play but that's no excuse for the rest of us to lose perspective. When a young mother spends most of her time drunk or sobbing then all bets are off, and a show of humanity is called for.

End

Give her a break! Haha..

I'm finally getting this teeshirt!:



I'm addicted to heroes!

Cheeeeeriooo =)




Valentine's day is a ridiculous charade, the ignorant masses are manipulated by the greetings card companies into forking out millions - and for what? for the illusion of being loved.
- adrian mole: the wilderness years

=) my uneventful 14th feb:

Abigail came over to my place to swim and tan!! Perfect weather! =) Ate chips and gummies while lying on the sun tanning deck. Lazed around the jacuzzi. Took photos! =op And gabbed about guys.



Dinner with mel jon nick tim and austen at the lagoon. Was too full with chips and gummies to have anything proper. Shared hokkien mee and chicken with mel =) The satay man is scary!

Down to marina to meet derong darren and rach =o) jem joined later. awesome time chilling by the esplanade with the night breeze and loads of couples making out around us. HAHA. derong started this amusing conversation about a theory he supposedly got off the net =op i've tried, but i simply can't phrase it in words. at least not here. but ask and i will tell you =op it sounded absurd and really stereotypical when i first heard it, but when i began to think about it in depth it proved respectable and ironically true =) chilled some more at the fullerton bar. we had a ball of a time ordering things we couldn't pronounce =o) i had the biggest club sandwich ever! haha!

anyway. my legs are sore from today's futile CNY shopping efforts =( Mum is nagging non stop about me having nothing to wear. Will have to whip up something! My phone is officially dead.

blah =)




Hello blog =)

English A2
Science (chemistry/biology) A2
Food and Nutrition A2
Geography B3
Combined humanities B3
Mathematics C6

Scary how a subject singlehandedly does all the damage.

Anyway have you ever felt so devalued by someone who once was closest to you? Have you ever looked into that person's eyes and instead of finding comfort and familiarity, found affectional vacuum?

Knew the signs
Wasn't right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool

So confused,
My heart’s bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn’t see
We were never meant to be

Catch myself
From despair
I could drown
If I stay here
Keeping busy everyday
I know I will be okay

But I was
So confused,
My heart’s bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn’t see
We were never
Meant to be

So much hurt,
So much pain
Takes awhile to regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time,
You’ll be out of my mind
And I’ll be over you

But now I’m so confused,
My heart’s bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach,
So far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn’t see
We were never meant to be

Out of reach,
So far
You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see
There’s a life out there
For me.




East Coast is the shizz =)


Learning how to ride... X)


Here I go!



Josephine and I are forming a group of 6 for the windsurfing course at east coast sea sports club =) It's $55 for membership and course. Anyone?? =)

Cheerioooo =)




we've grown so far apart.

what's a girl to do when she's tried her hardest?





After work, Jo and I had a much anticipated work out time at planet fitness :D Hahaha it's seriously cool that I have a free pass till Feb 14th! Thanks to Jo =) Didn't do much today though cause we had to head to east coast to register for the windsurfing course! So we chatted all the way and somehow our conversation digressed and we found ourselves talking about (what else?)guys. Some of the greatest conversations ever come unexpected =)So anyway we checked out cable-skiing :D And we were on our way to the sea sports association when it started to drizzle quite heavily.. so we went back to her place for dinner =) Will have to sign up another day. Her Mum cooks some mean Indonesian food man =) Love her chilli to bits! I also spent half an hour wandering aimlessly around the Bayshore/Costa Del Sol area(no surprise here). It is not exactly the easiest place to navigate your way out of at night. =op Ended up walking right into a dead end that led into the Bayshore park condo HAHA so I had to walk all the way out again. I swear I'm never moving away from the east. And if I had a choice, I'd get a place at The Bayshore or Costa Del Sol in the future. The Bayshore is simply charming, and the views from the full length windows of Costa Del Sol are entirely picturesque!! X) I like.. not to mention the fact that they're just a stone's throw away from the sand, sun and sea!!! =)

I could get used to this.

Cheerios =) xoxo. B.




=))




















Disneyland Hong Kong =) Loads more but having problems uploading them! The rest of the pics up soon! x)
















It was comical how Adda and I (very)unintentionally found an unlikely streak of common ground between us yesterday at work =) It started with a mere fleeting statement that led to a highly amusing and entertaining conversation about a particular subject for which, we came to find, we shared common sentiments =) HAHAHA

Work has been fun =) Matthew has (finally)started bringing in new items to the store so everyday has had its own surprises since =) It was nice seeing Nicole and her friend again at the shop today! They came by and bought the pretty daydream wallets =) If you're reading this nicole, I miss you! Loads to catch up on =) Josephine also came by and I probably scared the living daylight out of her mum when I saw Jo and started squealing =) HAHA anyway Jo bought the grey version of my army green rusty 3/4 pants =)She is giving me her free planet fitness pass so I can go with her when she goes for gym/classes. And she is also officially my long-awaited windsurfing partner =) Am so excited!

I miss everyone terribly though. If you guys are reading.. Amelia, Daphne, Rachelle, Serene, cell girls!, and besty.. I really miss you guys. I've not spent time with you all lately =( Am doing my best to work it out.

Recent events have revealed many new things about myself. I have seen (and felt) enough to say that I am considerably changed in some ways, although I'm not sure it's a change I am entirely warming up to. Everything is changing, everyone is changing, the wheels are in motion. Now, more than ever.




In the past week, I have:


1. Scared the hell out of an innocent air stewardess by jerking and yelping aloud as I awoke suddenly on the plane X)
2. Slept on a windowsill for 5 consecutive nights
3. Singlehandedly finished 5 packets of chips at one go. OMG
4. Been to disneyland! It seriously felt like home
5. Learned the art of shameless bargaining. $168 to $50. Do the math! =)
6. Hiked up a mountain in boots, a skirt and a teeshirt (in winter)
7. Hit bucketfulls of balls at the new golf course in the chilly winter weather!
8. Lounged on glamourous sofas on the top of a skyscraper chilling to jazz with the winter breeze in my hair
9. Read half of 'We need to talk about Kevin'. It's a fantastic book!
10. Seen domestic cows! They're scary..
11. Taken pictures with Chip, Dale, Mickey Mouse, Mulan, Mushu, Goofy, Pluto... X)
12. Been scalded silly in the shower with hot water that turned ice cold the next minute
13. Had the most incredible food ever, needless to say.


Hong Kong was a blast. Photos up soon =) Cheerios!




1. childlike, but often mistaken to be childish and immature
2. curious by nature, constantly in search of new experiences. People think i am flighty and impractical
3. too open with people, am judged.
4. trust too easily, usually end up learning the hard way that people cant be trusted
5. submissive, often a pushover
6. think for others too much.
7. always do whats best for everyone but myself.
8. give 110% of what i am to everyone around me. it gets slammed back in my face, and i have nothing left to give.



why be a nice girl? nice girls get burned. nobody appreciates nice girls. guys dump nice girls for bitches. the girls who get it good, are actually those who dont give a damn about anything or anyone around them but only care about themselves and what they want. and strange and wrong as it may seem, they seem to get it.


i need to think of myself for once instead of everyone else. i need to feel worthwhile again.




' I hope truly that in the year ahead you will come to resolve that burden in your heart. You are an independant, pretty and amazing girl. Continue to be that in the coming year!'


The sweetest words uttered this christmas.











Hello all! =) Just came back from my night run awhile ago =op Been running for the past three days and tonight's run was especially refreshing, with the chilly air and light wind blowing against my face, and I'm finally re-awakening my runner instincts that have been subdued lately due to long term neglect =x I knew it was all coming back to me when I was doing my 3rd round around the estate, and I felt what I have not in more than a year (since I left MGS), the oh-so-inexplicably-wonderful feeling of muscle exhaustion slowly but tangibly morphing into adrenaline! =op Was blissfully energised and took off like some over-fueled rocket.. =op

Haha anyway today was unusually productive! =) Was supposed to hit vivo city with amelia today to celebrate our second last day of being classmates haha but in the end people were getting caught for leaving school early, so she was stuck at school, so sorry vivo! Another time =) Anyway I hopped over to esplanade library for awhile.. studied 4 chapters of chem! =) Haha organic chem, mole, the works. Nearly froze to death, haha so anyway icicled me hobbled out of the library frozen but content with the amount of work I managed to get done =) Got on the train and headed down to orchard where I began my fruitless dress hunt for the upcoming weddings!! Which happen to be hastily drawing near, and I am still dressless! =x Anyway today was my most wonderful shopping experience ever. Let me fill you in =)

1st stop: Ballerina La Tida at Delfi Orchard. Went there in hopes of finding something pretty, formal enough but not cliche. The shopkeeper was so nice, he let me try all the dresses I fancied, even those that weren't supposed to be selling yet so in a way he gave me a little preview of the next collection. They were all gorgeous! But too heavy for weddings I figured, but nonetheless totally gorgeous =op Was just done trying the last dress when he brought out this dress he though would suit me, and for a brief moment there, time stopped. It is the definition of my dream dress! Totally girly, demure with pretty intricate lace and so ballerina-esque, and white. But as almost all seemingly perfect things or circumstances do, there was a catch.. which took the form of 5 characters printed on the back of a tag, $1100. Somebody shoot me with a pink straberry flavoured pistol! I was devastated needless to say =(

2nd stop: Nike at Wheelock place. Dropped by to pick up two pairs of dry-fit socks for my mum and myself =) Was instructed by my mum to use the nike vouchers she passed to me. So I was about to pay for the socks, when the saleslady informed me that the voucher could only be used at millenia walk.. haha i was quite embarassed for not READING THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS before flashing it in the saleslady's face like it was some kind of thousand dollar bill. Haha anyway I sheepishly took the vouchers back and thanked her, but what she did next showed such initiative that won my immediate admiration. She called the millenia branch and offered to send over the two pairs of socks to them (cause millenia was out of stock) so I could use the voucher there! This gesture was totally unexpected, and what's more, for two miserably pairs of socks! Was so impressed with her fantastic attitude and thanked her profusely of course =o)

3rd stop: Rusty at parkway. Took 36 to parkway with the intention of buying dinner (which wasn't fulfilled in the end, haha). Decided to pop by the rusty store to see if my jacket which had been sent for length alteration on tuesday was ready for collection. So I went in and asked the guy if it had arrived yet, and he checked and told me very nicely, no. So I shop hopped for awhile, visited nike and adidas (i want the liverpool stuff!neat!), and on my way downstairs I happened to pass by rusty again. I was mildly shocked when the sales guy in rusty suddenly called out my name from inside the store, I turned around to see him running out of the store and asking me, 'you're beverly right?' HAHAHA kinda wierd, but anyway he walked me into the store and explained that after I left the store earlier, he called the alteration centre and they said it would be ready for collection by tomorrow or monday latest. Hahaha what really struck me here, was that calling the alteration centre was not something he had to do.. he had already checked (very thoroughly) for my order and it had not arrived, so a normal sales person would leave it at that. But he went beyond the call of duty and phoned the centre to double check, and he even confirmed my name and everything. Was very impressed! Haha anyway while I was in the shop I spotted another rusty top that I liked, so I tried it on and he went all out to help me pick the right size, colour even though the store was quite crowded, he was able to very skillfully attend to the various needs of the customers. Anyway by the time I tried on all the colours all the customers left. HAHA =) So i reserved it. Under normal circumstances you would have to pay a 50% deposit to reserve. But I left my money at home, and only had a measely $10 note left. So he offered to reserve it for me without any charge at all, and even told me that I could just pop by when I had the money and pay for the top. How nice is that? He was really friendly too and told me that retail therapy never fails =) Haha commendable!

4th stop: A factory outlet store neat marine parade. Bought 3 fab items for $24 altogether =)

Haha after all that I headed home and did my night run =) And opened the mailbox after that to behold, an envelope addressed to me, specifically the two necklaces I ordered from mygirlyaffair online =o)

So today was a blast. It feels like one of those days where each action to its next is seamless, everything seems choreographed to perfection. Guess it's one of those perfect days for me =) While running, I realised that the off days make me appreciate the perfect ones even more. =) I'm a happy girl!

I will knock off soon to get a good night's rest for tomorrow.. a.k.a GRADUATION. I have mixed feelings about graduating.. but I'm glad to be moving on to the next stage of my life =) Will definitely hold dear all the memories and lessons brought about during secondary school.. and I will celebrate graduation by ordering (for the last time) the yummy gyozas from the noodle stall =o) Honestly, they are the only edible things in the canteen. Haha it's time for the typical graduating song cliche: As we go on, we remember all the times we had together. And as our lives change, from whatever, we will still be friends forever.

Was talking to JonE on msn just now and we were talking about life and having God as our focus in the midst of everything we go through. And he sent me this song, 'The stand', and the words are beautiful. It really reflects the attitude of wanting to yield ourselves completely to him, simply because it's all we can do, once we've experienced the immaculate, inexplicable love, glory and power of God. =)

Wow this is a long entry! My longest one to date, maybe! =o)

I'll stand with arms wide, heart abandoned, in awe of the one who gave it all. I'll stand, my soul, Lord, to you surrendered, all I am is yours!




O level people, study hard okay =) We're all in this together! *prances around dancing to high school musical*

Hahaha Charis is coming over to my place later to work on the dance =)




What can I do - Paul Baloche

When I see the beauty of a sunset's glory,
Amazing artistry across the evening sky
When I feel the mystery of a distant galaxy
It awes and humbles me to be loved
By a God so high

What can I do, but thank you?
What can I do but give my life to you?
Hallelujah, hallelujah
What can I do, but praise you?
Everyday, make everything I do
A hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah

When I hear the story of a God of mercy
Who shared humanity and suffered by our side
Of the cross they nailed you to,
That could not hold you
Now you're making all things new
By the power of your risen life

What can I do, but thank you?
What can I do but give my life to you?
Hallelujah, hallelujah
What can I do, but praise you?
Everyday, make everything I do
A hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah


Photo time =)


















=) Cheerios




I'm not the one you want, babe
I'll only let you down

It ain't me, babe
No, no, no, it ain't me, babe
It ain't me you're looking for, babe.

- Walk the line




Loved like it would never hurt, trusted because I had faith (too much?), cared with every inch of my being, gave my heart away (too easy?), understood, compromised, gave in, sacrificed, put myself, my life on hold. Sometimes I wonder why.

'Perhaps in disappointment we are perfectly matched.' - Corpse Bride, Tim Burton

Wow.. what contrast in mood I see between this entry and the last. Haha.. =) Well I'm really sorry about the mood, guys. Will try to cheer up =(




Thank you for the cards and presents everyone!!! Love you all =)




Hady won Singapore idol instead of Jonathan.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GAH =( I need a bar of chocolate. Rachel and I are in mourning..

Hmmmm may have a belated birthday dinner, maybe Saturday if everyone's free =)




I know this is a little late, but behold our wonderful work of art! =) Teachers' day cake for the leaders. Wheeeeeeee =)



Will be flying off to hong kong this Friday for my birthday =) Will be flying off in the morning and back at night haha =) Any suggestions as to what I can do there anyone?? =op I'm looking forward to timsum..

Finally found the 'what a girl wants' dvd today! GAH =)

Click here for my new livejournal account =)

Have suddenly developed a strong liking for rainbow-esque themes and pictures =)

Miraculously managed to nail 72% (29/40) for my geog paper 1 =)

This entry is random and every sentence ends with =).

Cheerios!

xoxo. Bev-erage =op




Prelims are over! Time to chill out for a couple of days before I start crazy-mugging for Os.. =)



Watched the devil wears prada for the fourth (not kidding) time today =x Am tired! Gonna go sleep now good night everyone =)

I carry your heart. I carry it in my heart.

xoxo. B.




I am less than 12 hours away from the official beginning of prelims =( And possibly in a state of subconscious denial of their arrival. I suppose the initial dread is natural, and even more so, the lingering feelings of apprehension and insufficient-studying-induced regret. Can't wait for all this to be over.

Anyway this week has been somewhat turbulent, wavering between extremes in terms of situations as well as my feelings towards them. What I really need is time to take a step back and look at things the way they really are, but I guess the untimely arrival of the exams will inevitably postpone my very needed self-analysis and alone time. One of my favourite songs by Corrine May comes to mind..

I feel like a little girl
trying to conquer the whole wide world.
Everybody wants a piece of me
and I just don't know where to turn..
I've got work piled up to my head
And all I wanna do is jump in bed
and wash away my troubles with lemonade..


Haha well the lyrics match my feelings really well except the part about the lemonade =o) Anyway, quite expectedly, the start of prelims brought to mind the very short time I have left till the actual o levels.. and more frightening yet, the prospect of the inevitable end of secondary school life, the remaining days of which are fast hastening to their end. Makes me think about the changes I've gone through during my time in secondary school, during the past 2 years particularly.. Things I've learned, the ways in which I've changed, regrets, and most importantly spiritual growth. Looking back, there are countless things that I realise could not have come to pass if not for God's hand upon my life, and I'm simply in awe of God's unwavering faithfulness and love that never changes though we are so unworthy and undeserving =)

Have alot to say, but my thoughts come in no particular order so I'm sorry for the incoherence =o) Haha anyway there's been some speculation about me and things related to BGRs lately. I'm glad I've learned alot in the past year, though it was a long struggle but that break up really taught me many things about myself, and more importantly what a godly relationship should be like. For now, I've decided that staying friends with guys is so much better =) I think staying away from the heat and exigencies of serious relationships really allows us to get to know others in a far more wholesome and godly way, and it becomes clearer with time whether or not a person is really someone you'd want to be in a serious, long term and godly relationship with in future. And it also gives us alot more time to devote to our daily walk with God, ministry and other important commitments.

Enough about that =o) I should really knock off and get some rest now. All the best to everyone having exams =) Study hard, rest well and know that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us! =)

A thousand times I've failed,
Still Your mercy remains
And should I stumble again,
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting,
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending,
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else,
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself,
In bringing You praise
Everlasting,
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending,
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out

Everlasting,
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending,
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

Cheerios! =)




You are not a God created by human hands
you are not a God dependent on any mortal man
you are not a God in need of anything we can give
by your plan, that's just the way it is

You are God alone
from before time began
you were on your throne
you are God alone
and right now
in the good times and bad
you are on your throne
you are God alone

You're the only God who's power, none can contend
you're the only God who's name and praise will never end
you're the only God who's worthy of everything we can give
you are God, that's just the way it is

You are God alone
from before time began
you were on your throne
you are God alone
and right now
in the good times and bad
you are on your throne
you are God alone

You're unchangeable,
unshakeable
unstoppable
that's what you are..


I stand in awe of you!




All majesty,
To the God of creation!

To all the girls who helped out in one way or another baking the cake for the leaders and making the cards, a big thank you!! =) The brownie was quite successful =) Not to mention attractive due to our highly innovative addition of chupa-chups! Haha =) More chocolate sauce next time, gals! The melted chocolate hardened! =( Lol

Watched the devil wears prada for the second time today with Charis, Leona, Lucia, Serene, Nigel, JonE, Nick, Jeremy, Jovin and Timothy =) Haha I quite like the show, but the guys seemed bored out of their skulls or something. Haha! After that, the girls left to go home, but serene and I stayed on for dinner. Derong came and met us for dinner =) With a considerable amount of bickering about how to get to the esplanade from millenia walk (derong was insisting on going the wrong way!) and also a highly entertaining conspiracy ;) haha, we made our way to glutton's bay! I want more of that hokkien mee! And stingray. =)

Tomorrow: Jamming with the boys, studying. =)

Wheeeeeeee =)

Have a good trip sasha!! =)




My feelings, exactly =) I love this song.





Everybody wants to be loved
Every once in a while
We all need someone to hold on to
Just like a helpless child
Can you whisper in my ear
Let me know its alright

It's been a long time coming down this road
and now I know what I've been waiting for
and like a lonely highway
I'm trying to get home
Love's been a long time coming.

You can love for a lifetime
You could love for a day
You can think you've got everything but
Everything is nothing when you throw it away
Then you look in my eyes
And I have it all once again

It's been a long time coming down this road
and now I know what I've been waiting for
and like a lonely highway
I'm trying to get home
Love's been a long time coming.

Didn't know I was lost
Till you found me
Didn't know I was blind
But now I see

Can you whisper in my ear
Let me know its alright

It's been a long time coming down this road
And now I know what I've been searching for
Been a long, long highway
And now I see
Love's been a long time
Oh been a long time
Love's been a long time coming.


Have a good week everybody! Cheerios =)

xoxo. B.




Am I just seeing what I want to see
Or could you really be..
someone to have and hold
with all my heart and soul
please tell me now,
before I fall in love.


This week has been exciting enough so far =) Busy as a bee studying(trying to) for prelims and planning things with the girls(not to mention going hyper while at it!) =) Haha.. have been perpetually late for school this whole week, though I've not gotten booked once, thanks to my ingenious(and daring) almost foolproof trick =) Haha if you're one who's always late for school and chalking up demerits like nobody's business, you might wanna ask me bout this one =op Oh no.. I'm terrible!

I know this is random, but WHY IS JOAKIM GOMEZ STILL IN SINGAPORE IDOL?! Gah =( He's giving me an earache.

Amelia is bringing the pretty rainbow polka dotted skirt tomorrow =) (My only)Incentive to go to school! Hahahahaha =) Anyway, there was no teacher in class for SS, so amelia and I went to the library.. and I watched half of what a girl wants (amanda bynes), it's surprisingly good! Stopped halfway cause we had to get back to class, but I am dying to get the vcd =) So I got home at 4, went swimming and fell asleep by the poolside till 5.30 =/ Haha whoops! =) Will knock off soon to continue with my work.


Haven't done this in a long time! SHOUTOUTS

Besty - Hello girl =) Haha really enjoy our talks that go late into the night (and wee hours of the morning).. I still have so much to tell you!! =)

Amelia - Sorry for the REALLY LATE birthday present man.. will give it to you asap okay =) Anyway thanks for helping me meet Pearlene =) Remind me to photocopy notes for you.. and I love the skirt! =) Go for prom leh. =)

Sasha - Hey girl =) Sorry you won't be catching the forbidden city with us =( Have a ball in Thailand though! Shop away on my behalf!! =op

Charis - Haha exciting stuff coming up girl! =) And yayy you got into TJ! Happy for you girl, thank God =)

Peiqi - I SEEEEEE YOUU THROUGH MY WINDOW... haha you've gotten addicted to it! =o) Victim of the bevolution.. haha! When I first did it you thought I was crazy =op

Rachel - Posh spice! Hello =) I like watching miss swan with you. And trying to act like her at Macs while ordering fries! ;) HAHAHAHAHA anyway remember to press on and keep praying =)

Daphne - It's been so long since we've caught up! Really miss hanging out =( Anyway exams coming soon, hope you're having fun in mass comm(sure you are actually!), will meet you up soon girl =)




Exciting week =)




Imagine...

Your favourite musical is in town.
You hear of it, you're excited
Every inch of your body is reeling with eager anticipation of it.
You rush to the nearest ticketing booth
All the good seats have been sold out.
Faster than you expected.
The only seats left are right at the back,
and you know you can't see much from back there.
But you'll still have to pay the full price.
To others it would seem ridiculous.
You think the world of this musical
Though the seat doesn't promise a good view at all
You buy it anyway, with all the money you have.
The day of the performance arrives.
You pick out your best clothes and shoes.
You arrive at the theatre an hour early to grab a bite
visit the washroom
you want to be seated early
you can't wait for the show to begin.
You arrive at the entrance of the concert hall
you see the name of the musical you are about to watch flashed over the digital screen, you get excited all over again
you look around expecting to see a large crowd
dressed to the hilt, and waiting to be seated
you wonder if you've come to the wrong place
or gotten the time mixed up
the foyer is empty
it is a moment of sickly surprise
suddenly a door swings open
if not for the tag reading 'usher' pinned on his crumpled teeshirt
you would have mistaken the man for a cleaner.
he leans on the half open door
with his mouth full of a half-chewed sandwich
he says
You're early
His words insult you.
Is it not normal to arrive early for a show you've been dying to watch? One you paid a large sum of money for?
You find yourself being led into the concert hall by the man who is supposedly the usher;however you are still aghast at his shodiness and have yet to accept that this man is in fact an usher
Topping that,
you realise that he is the only usher.
And seconds after you are greeted by something so devastating, it seems unreal
you are in fact walking into an empty concert hall
where the stage lights are flickering
and to your horror
musicians and cast are lying down on the stage, sleeping
some are talking on their mobile phones
some are just eating and drinking, leaving their mess on the stage
they give you a vacant stare as your eyes meet theirs
you feel ready to bolt out the door
you don't believe you paid so much for this madness
you demand to see the manager of the production
the manager walks out from backstage
and announces that the show will not go on tonight
because
'the cast is simply not in the right mood.
so sorry we wasted your time. drive safe.'
he turns around and walks back to the stage
you beg him to let you see at least one bit of it
with a grunt
he agrees
and walks over to the conductor
he whispers in the conductor's ear
the conductor shrugs and nods,
and begins to get the orchestra members together on stage
you find yourself a seat in the front row right in the middle
you've got a perfect view..
of crew members reluctantly clearing their things off stage
and members of the orchestra strolling to their seats
without the slightest hint of enthusiasm
or acknowledgement of the well dressed gentleman in the front row
waiting to hear them play.
tears well up in your eyes
as they begin to play
with instruments so obviously out of tune
you can bear it no more.
slowly,
you make your way out of the concert hall
not only have you missed out on your favourite musical of all time,
you have also paid a full price
for nothing.


This is something I've been thinking about a great deal this week. Our lives as Christians are sometimes (or most of the time) no different from this illustration of a man who willingly pays everything he has, for nothing (the man signifying Jesus, the cast and crew, us). It may seem harsh, but I've come to realise it's true. And I get so frustrated, when our lives are nothing but a mockery of the one who loves us and saves us and constantly picks us up and meets us where we are, never looking save with love and mercy upon us. What or who do our lives resound for? They should resound only for the one who is worthy. He paid a debt he did not owe, because we owed a debt we could not pay. This is why everyone needs him. And everyone needs to not only believe in him, but live for him. Him who laid it all down, for us.

If we could see how much you're worth
your power, your might
your endless love
then surely we would never cease
to praise you




This is where you dump your old literature work when your computer is mysteriously deleting folders at random, and your printer isn't working =)


2. In The English teacher, how does Narayan convey the notion that it is futile to cling on to earthly attachments?


In the novel, Narayan plots events such that Krishna loses the people he is emotionally dependent on. For example, the demise of his wife Susila, whom Krishna’s emotional ties are centered around, ‘for me the greatest reality is this and nothing else…. Nothing else will worry or interest me in life hereafter.’

After Susila’s death, the transferred dependence from Susila to Leela is evident, ‘ So much so that I refused to allow her to be taken away by her grandparents and decided to keep her with me.’ Here, Krishna becomes dependent on his daughter, as she is his only connection with Susila that he has to hold on to. ‘To this end, I concentrated my whole being. From morning till night this kept me busy. I had to keep her cheerful and keep myself cheerful too lest she should feel unhappy.’ He tried to take his mind off thoughts of Susila. However, it proved impossible as ‘In the darkness I often felt an echo of her voice and speech or sometimes her moaning and delirious talk in sickbed.’

Narayan demonstrates that counting on someone’s physical presence brings joy but is short lived, and Krishna frequently plummets into misery and despair, for example, when the medium had gone away, leaving Krishna with nobody to help him communicate with Susila. Krishna was disappointed and once again plunged into depression, ‘For the first time in months, I felt desolate. The awful irresponsiveness of Death overwhelmed me again. It unnerved me. All the old moods returned now. It looked as though they had been bondage all these days and were now suddenly unleashed. I was overwhelmed.’

Narayan also conveys the futility of clinging on to earthly attachments by Krishna’s constant longing for Susila. Krishna finds that he is unable to achieve it, and feels miserable as a result. Narayan presents such a dependency to be an obstacle to transcendence, ‘rare, immutable joy’.

Susila’s death is also purposefully situated in the middle of the novel, and in this way Narayan conveys the message that the main character, Susila, doesn’t have to be physically present for the story to go on, and that death does not equate the end of a relationship, specifically, that between Krishna and Susila.

Narayan also shows that it is useful not to cling on the earthly attachments by developing Krishna into a more mature character as the novel progresses, as can be seen when he gives up his selfish wants and lets Leela go, as he realises that ‘she must have her own life’. Narayan also shows how accepting the ‘law of life’ brings Krishna peace, ‘ All struggle and misery in life is due to our attempt to arrest this law or get away from it or in allowing ourselves to be hurt by it. The fact must be recognized.’ This ‘law of life’ holds true though it is depressing, but yet brings joy when accepted.

Narayan links Krishna’s resignation from the college directly to the event of his transcendence, conveying the notion that it is when Krishna learns to let go of his earthly emotional attachments that he is set free.




Hello everybody =) It's wierd that I should be blogging at this unearthly hour (especially after 2 days of non-stop partying and fun hahahahaha) but since I'm hyper.. I shall try to channel all this energy into penning down an informative blog entry for my avid readers. HAHA =o)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELIA!!!!
This crazy woman has officially turned 16 =)
To celebrate, we skipped school and went out on Thursday.. Went for a tim sum buffet =) It was yummy.. haha and we kept ordering the wrong things!! Ended up having to eat stuff we didn't even know we ordered hahaha like the spicy and gross chicken feet and the carrot cake which was super filling =( and CHAR SIEW PAU. I nearly died.

We emerged from the restaurant like two sickening potatoes man. We were full and laughing like crazy I felt like puking... hahaha and we walked off our tim sum by walking from city hall to clarke quay.. and back to city hall.. then to marina square.. Imagine my agony.. having to walk all over in my pointy high heels =( The best part was when we sat outside marina square having our own PHOTOSHOOT hahaha we were attracting truckloads of attention with our mad laughter and inappropriate, not to mention very unskillful use of the camera.. I nearly died of embarassment and laughter.. BUT melia accidentally deleted all out photos away =( GAHHHHHHHH. This is the only one that was saved:



I got cut off it's a sucky picture but it's all we have =(


NATIONAL DAY...

Was a blur as usual haha everything happened so quickly.. but it was fun =) WE MISSED THE FIREWORKS GAHHHHHH!! =( We could have caught them at the poolside but we were all upstairs.. and too slow to get down to the poolside in time haha sad. But anyway, food was nice =) Thanks to all the wonderful gals who helped out in the kitchen.. till the kitchen became so smoky haha! It looked like there was a smoke machine or something.. quite funny =) HAHAHA good job girls! We should make the boys cook next time.. =) So we ate and watched Singapore idol and hot chick.. HAHAHA i love that show... after most of the people had gone home a few people stayed behind with hopes of going out to catch a midnight movie/play lan BUT in the end they ended up playing golf with all sorts of variations hahaha they're nuts! =) Never knew a golf mat could provide so much entertainment.. anyway after 1350426537465 centuries we came to our first decision for the night.. and we decided to watch 50 first dates in my room.. Was really quite tired by the time we started watching haha but it was sweet =) And here's the highlight of the show in script form =) :

Characters: Derong, Nick, Jovin, Jeremy, Rachel, Sheena and myself.

Silence (characters watch intently)

The silence in the room is broken by a very undignified (and unmanly) shriek...

DERONG: COCKROACH! COCKROACH! AHHHHHHH! (Jumps up and starts freaking out)
NICK: AHHHHHH WHERE?! (Jumps up and starts freaking out)
RACHEL: AHHHHHHHHHH
JOVIN: AHHHHHHHHH
SHEENA: AHHHHHHHHH
JEREMY: (says nothing but stands up and peers sheepishly at the other side of the bed where derong was now going crazy)
ALL CHARACTERS: (Pounce onto the bed, shrieking)
BEV: (Lags for 5 seconds)........ AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Jumps up and switches the light on, then dashes out to the backyard to grab the insect spray!Returned to the room to find the remaining characters frantically in search of the cockroach)
RACHEL: THERE THERE THERE AHHHHHHHHHH! (Pointing at the pillow)
DERONG: (Pushes the bed away) AHHHHH! I SEE IT!! AHHHH!!
JOVIN,JEREMY,NICK,SHEENA,BEV: (Gaping helplessly at derong)
BEV: SPRAY IT!!!!
DERONG: (Presses the button as though for dear life) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Jumps up and down)

After 5 minutes of trauma, characters peer over the bed in triumph over the (now)lifeless creature.

THE END

HAHAHAHA anti climax =)

Sheena, Jeremy, Jovin and Rachel left my place at 2.30 am.. Derong, Nick and myself went to macs to have a bite.. but halfway there, it started raining really heavily and we were forced to make a long sprint to macs! Hahahaha walau =) Reached home at 5, cleared up till 5.30 and took my long awaited shower =o) Plopped right onto my bed and fell into immediate sleep. =)

DAY AFTER NATIONAL DAY

Woke up at 12 when wendy called me.. was barely awake while talking to her I think I was just talking rubbish haha! =) Tried to go back to sleep after that, but it was kinda wierd so I got up and walked over to kampong arang to have lunch with Calvin, Wendy, Charis, Mel and Ben.. after that I got my books from home and went to tim centre to 'study' with mel. HAHA! =op I think Calvin and Ben must have thought we were nuts or something.. we were in the car on the way back to church with Wendy, Mel and myself in the backseats.. and I started talking about nuts =) (that sounds wrong=x) So i called mel a peanut x) Then mel called me butter! Ahahahaha then we started playing this word game was super funny...... Calvin called me a coconut =( So we settled down at tim centre.. did math for awhile.. then mel and I started doing something we used to do in sec 1 hahaha we raided the cupboards and fridge and drank milo.. and ate biscuits =-) Ate alot! =( THEN we took the guitar out.. and started playing random songs. Started doing cheerleader jumps! Ahahahahah! =) Around 4.. we started playing foozball.. and I nearly died of excitement or something =x

PLANET SHAKERS

Was alright. When we first entered the hall it felt like some club, didn't like the way it seemed no different from secular events and parties. Anyway we sang some nice songs from the new album =) But we only sang about 6 songs in total.. and the worst thing.. was that the crowd was shouting ENCORE!!! And they didn't even play one more song =( Shucks... So we had dinner after that at the airport hahaha peiqi, rachel and I went totally HYPER =) Ate at popeye's.. I had a lemon tea wasn't hungry. I couldn't get the 'I seeeeeeee you' gesture out of my head and I kept terrorising people with the gesture hahahaha should have seen ed cheah's face!!! =) Walau on the train, he pretended that he knew what game rachel and I were playing.. and decided to play along.. and in the process got so excited that he whacked me right into the window!! =op Hhahahahaha. So after that we went off early, cause peiqi had to go home. Three of us (rachel, peiqi and me) chased after what we thought was bus 36 and we arrived at the bus terminal breathless and panting to realise that we were chasing after bus 34 =( HAHA actually it was kinda my fault cause I was the one who started freaking out on the escalator and running down to the terminal... OOPS =) So we waited.. and waited.. and we saw! Two 36 buses!! YAYYY! =) All three of us stretched out our arms to stop the bus, only to recieve wierd looks from a very entertained audience who watched the two buses drive right past the 3 hopefuls, who looked at each other in sheer bewilderment.. only to realise (10 minutes after) that we were waiting at the 34 bus stop... not the 36 bus stop =( Gahhhhh. I started laughing and breaking out into song. We decided to take a cab home! So we went up the travelator.. only to find the guys coming down hahahahaha =) In the end we waited at the terminal with the guys.. till 36 finally came! And i went nuts on the bus again. I love being hyper =) But nobody was being hyper with me =( Why do I always feel like a wierdo haha by the time we got off the bus I was feeling like a real nut. Probably because I was squished by JonE and peiqi! =( Haha! Anyway I'm sorry this entry didn't make much sense! Will blog soon =) Properly.. =)

xoxo. B.




She knew that she would weep again when she saw the kind, tender hands folded in death; the face that had never looked save with love upon her, fixed and gray and dead. But she saw beyond that bitter moment a long procession of years to come that would belong to her absolutely. And she opened and spread her arms out to them in welcome.

There would be no one to live for during those coming years; she would live for herself. There would be no powerful will bending hers in that blind persistence with which men and women believe they have a right to impose a private will upon a fellow-creature. A kind intention or a cruel intention made the act seem no less a crime as she looked upon it in that brief moment of illumination.

And yet she had loved him - sometimes. Often she had not. What did it matter! What could love, the unsolved mystery, count for in face of this possession of self-assertion which she suddenly recognized as the strongest impulse of her being!

- 'The story of an hour' by Kate Chopin


Exam stress is starting to sink in, and a hefty load of awaiting revision demands that I divert my attention away from some of the silly things that I've been doing and onto full fledged studying instead. Gahhh =( It's not the studying that i dread(surprisingly), but more the lack of time to get things done.. Let's just say that alot of things are important to me and close to my heart, and there are many things that I find so difficult to put aside for this seemingly brief period of time that remains till the o levels end. Hahaha I have to admit that even giving up 'friend time' to study is just beyond me, and I guess it's because I've never seen studies as my top priority.. (guilty) =x And sometimes I find that I don't even try to give up these things to find timt to study. It's not good, and I definitely need to pray.. =)

Anyway.. 3 days of holiday this week! YAY!!! =o) Oh the joys of national day.. <3 I will try to find time to worship and practice on the guitar too. I want to play for cell =)




Having free period now cause the teachers are away supervising the musical but the comm sucks gahhhh =) Going to amelia's house later! Yayy. Hmmm I think ill be blogging on livejournal from now on, kinda sick of this blog. But let me get the layout done okay =) My lj layout is just not appearing! =( Anyway. The past few days have been rather eventful x) Haha must admit I'm slowly starting to have a good time again =) As in, really having a good time and not pretending to me because i want people to think I'm okay or anything like that.

Geography was fun =) Mrs Koh was being funnay and she kept reminding us that prelims are just 5 weeks away.. she was rubbing it in! It's getting me quite jittery and I suppose it's really a good thing huh =op I need to studyyyyy. I need a study group. Anyone? =)

9th August. A day to look forward to! Amelia's birthday + national day party at my house =) Yayyyyy! Hope it will be nice and sunny so we can swim and stuff x) Oh sunny days!




I was not the perfect girlfriend. But I really did love you. A part of me always will. Guess I just wasn't enough.



You were the closest to heaven I've ever been
I bleed just to know I'm alive




I <3 MY CHUPA CHUP CHARMS

=) Wheeeee had detention today. Was bored out of my skull.




Yesterday's entry was a mess =x Anyway, time to stock up on new reads! =) Whoopie!

REALLY WANT THIS:






Too tired to blog =)







Did some tweaking with the photos =) Anyway I'm going to bed. Am dead tired, not to mention stressed over more than I can handle right now.




Dear Diary.

So we celebrated racial harmony day in school today =) Not much of a celebration really, we spent one pathetic hour in the chapel broken up into groups to work on some crossword puzzles =( Haha pretty useless, cause I'm pretty sure all I walked out of the chapel with was a backache, leg cramps and pins and needles from all the squatting/sitting in a really confined space. But recess was fun! There was some deejay and radio thing at the back of the canteen and they were blasting nice songs. As in, NICE SONGS x) Including songs from my new favourite PCD (pussycatdolls) and Britney! x) Oh yay. Haha Spent 15 minutes running around looking for Amelia because the canteen was SO CROWDED but anyway after some fuss we got seats and ate.. and then we bought cheesecake x) Haha just when we decided to get more, the auntie told us they were out of cheescakes =( ANTICLIMAX! Oh, the disappointment!! But anyway. Life goes on =) HAHA. A little too much fuss to make over a cheesecake yah? =op

F & N was a surreal stressful blur. Not that the experiment didn't go well, but I was really panicking towards the end of the practical because I didn't have a camera to take pictures with. Haha not that it was much of a problem but I get kanchiong over silly things! =) But I think it went very well actually, got good results and the pictures were nice. OH NOOOOOO I left some carrots and broccoli in my bag =x They are probably rotting away/attracting an army of cockroaches =(

NEW TOPIC: COCKROACHES

I hate cockroaches! =( They are vile, disgusting and they can fly! I am convinced there's a nest somewhere in my room, because lately they seem to be making frequent appearances! *FREAKS OUT* And in case they think this is some kind of joke, a note to the cockroaches: IT'S NOT FUNNY!! Haha why am I talking to things that won't read my blog anyway they've gone mad! The other day, I woke up because the air-con was making this strange noise. And I don't know why or how (women's intuition maybe? =p), but I immediately knew there was a cockroach inside.. of all places to be! True enough, a cockroach fell RIGHT OUT of the air-con after about 5 minutes of trauma =( Was hiding under the covers in knowledge of my impending DOOM =O So anyway when the coackroach fell out of the air-con, I was forced to resign to the possibility that my room might be cockroach infested. I grabbed the can of Baygon (A.K.A NEW BEST FRIEND) I had kept by my bed(a precaution I took after a week of almost daily cockroach appearances) and SPRAYED at the darned thing till I felt sick because the fumes were getting really strong. HAHA. Ended up sleeping on the couch for an hour while I aired my room =( Funny how a tiny thing can alter one's routine, yah? I woke up the next morning with eyebags because I spent another hour after that trying to sleep after the trauma of having to sweep away the DEAD COCKROACH with a broom. Eeek =(

Anyway I'm gonna grab some dinner now =) *DIVES INTO DINNER TABLE* MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA I've got a bug headache. Gahhhh x)




Everyone needs compassion
A love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a saviour
The hope of nations

Saviour, he can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever, author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as you find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I'd give my life to follow
Everything i believe in
Now i surrender

Saviour, he can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever, author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

Shine your light and let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory of the risen king

No one is too far gone. My God is mighty to save.




What the world needs now
is love, sweet love.




Had loads of fun today at the seventeen ZA summer camp =) Went down to meet eneida first, then we made our way down to east coast to register. Managed to snag a gorgeous pair of brown shorts at that sale! So I wore the shorts to camp.. bought a pair of wedges too, which Amelia coincidentally bought too the day before x) Haha it was rather inappropriate for the event and both of us ended up doing kickboxing barefooted! Was fun though, we took turns holding this large cushioned kicking pad against our bodies, while to other one kicked =) Amelia kept falling backwards when I was kicking. HAHA x) The only downer about the whole event was that it was a tad too short. 3 hours was barely enough to fully immerse ourselves in the activities and get to know others. Haha everyone was practically hanging around with their own cliques. But the skincare demonstration was good, got to use ZA stuff on our faces, and their new product range is pretty good =) Got the samples of the whole new range in the goodie bag, along with other vouchers and stuff =) I enjoyed the inline skating quite a bit. But we barely skated due to the time constraints =( Skated for about 20 minutes? But anyway it was fun, and I'm somewhat glad we didn't skate for longer, if not I would have fallen down and embarassed myself x) Must say that I'm really impressed with the event. Firstly, we didn't pay a cent for it and the activities were fun and really good stuff. We were served drinks and food, and the goodie bag was definitely worthwhile. Wouldn't mind going for another one of these camps the next time =) 4 hours well spent. Anyway tomorrow's Sunday.. and for the first time in a long time I feel like coming straight home after church. I don't know, I've just been so busy I've not had time to just stay at home and do whatever I feel like doing, watch tv.. bum around etc. I need some time for myself. I don't know why I rarely do.

There are quite a few good productions running now, and harsh as it is going to be on my pocket I've made up my mind to go watch at least one. There's Caberet, The marriage of Figaro, Forbidden City.. =) Yay!




I hate cockroaches! GAHHH =(




A fox among the shadows of the town,
Should I surrender to the arms of man?
On the blank icehills lies in wait
The fighting cold who has thrown down
His challenge. I'll not imitate
The feline compromise. I scan
With warring eyes the servile fate
Of animals who joined the heated town.

Lean-hearted lions in the concrete zoo
Grow bellies, tendons slacken in pale hide,
Their breath slows to a dying pace.
Their keepers love them? Tell me who
Would cage his love in such a place.
Where only fish are satisfied?
The keeper has a huntsman's face,
His grasping love would kill me in the zoo.

A scavenger throughout the snowing wind
I peel the sweet bark from the frozen tree
Or trap the bird with springing jaws.
The sun retreats out of my mind.
How could I give this waking pause
When death's my sleeping company?
Mad empty, licking at my sore.
I howl this bitter and unloving wind.

Furious in the savage winter day
The crimson riders hounded me from birth
Though landscapes built of thorn and stone.
Though I must be their sudden pray,
Torn to my terror's skeleton.
Or go to the forgotten earth,
I will have hunted too, alone,
I will have wandered in my handsome day.

Four seasons wrestle me, I throw them all
And live to tumble with another year
In love or battle. I'll not fly
From mindless elements and fall
A victim of the keeper's lie.
The field is mine; but still I fear
Strong death, my watching enemy,
Though seasons pass and I survive them all.

- Anonymous

The pleasures of being a lit student =)




Education is a state-concerned manufactory of echoes. In local context, education has dubbed itself a system that 'moulds the future of our nation', this a plain delusion on the part of the ministry. They somehow fail to see that their brilliant 'moulding' is not raising up a generation capable of the demands of the 21st century as they think, but ironically, is merely mass producing an army of worn out, kiasu learners competitors concerned not with filling their minds with useful and enriching information but memorising that table of equations that for some warped and bizarre reason, seems to be the passport to an A on their papers. Even parents have subcontiously gotten caught in this rat race they were never meant or called to be a part of, and this usually involves overly frantic behaviour the night before an exam, and worse still, daily harangues on the importance of education(as though the ministry's propaganda has not already lost its effectiveness). At this rate, it is only plausible to predict that in another decade or two, our country will be run by full fledged, cultivated kiasus and cynics. I don't dare to imagine it.

Suppose things are never the way we like them to be =o) And as easy as it is to complain, I know it is the last thing I should be doing. In everything there is a purpose, and I'm just reminded of Ecclesiastes 3:1, 'To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.'

Anyway I have stopped using blogsome, finally joined the herd of LJs (a.k.a livejournalers) =op So my other blog has moved to: http://bevolution.livejournal.com

=) xoxo. B.




we're soaring, flying
there's not a star in heaven
that we can't reach
if we're trying
so we're breaking free

you know the world can see us
in a way that's different than who we are
creating space between us
till we're separate hearts
but your faith it gives me strength
strength to believe

we're breaking free
we're soaring, flying
there's not a star in heaven
that we can't reach
if we're trying
we're breaking free

can you feel it building
like a wave the ocean just can't control
connected by a feeling in our very souls
rising till it lifts us up
so every one can see

we're breaking free
we're soaring, flying
there's not a star in heaven that we can't reach
if we're trying
we're breaking free
running, climbing
to get to that place
to be all that we can be
now's the time
so we're breaking free
we're breaking free

more than hope, more than faith
this is true, this is fate
and together, we see it coming
more than you, more than me
not a want, but a need
both of us breaking free

soaring, flying
there's not a star in heaven that we can't reach
if we're trying
we're breaking free
breaking free
we're running, climbing
to get to the place
to be all that we can be
now's the time
so we're breaking free
you know the world can see us
in a way that's different than who we are

- High School Musical

Reminds me of the younger days =) When the world was a kinder place, and things were less complicated.

xoxo. B.




11 am: Met besty. Hit the Mango sale! =)

1.30 pm, Pastamania: A real klutz spilled an entire bottle of chilli flakes onto her pasta (though I don't really blame her cause the bottle wasn't closed properly). As you would imagine, this caused two major problems 1) Even after removing the most she could of the heap of chilli flakes, her pasta was still flooded with remaining flakes that stuck onto the pasta 2) The large amount of chilli flakes still stuck in her pasta had obviously done irreperable damage to the taste of the very unfortunate (and wasted) plate of Bacon Aglio, it was obviously too hot to handle (literally, haha) and so a pile of inanimate, stupid chilli flakes demonstrated their power (previously unheard of) by throwing a good few dollars down the drain, along with many strands of wasted pasta and fried bacon !@#&%@%$
Was quite a scene, and in the end the waitresses were nice and gave her a brand new plate! =) So the damage was sort of 'undone', haha except for the wasted food =(

No prizes for guessing who that girl is =o)




The long overdue article (: Finally got down to it earlier this week. Been so busy! =x Anyway there are supposed to be pictures, but I forgot the password to my flickr account. So no photos! Sorry =(

Family Camp 2006!

The 4th of June marked the beginning of this year’s annual family camp, and at the crack of dawn campers had already arrived in church, many intuitively sleepy and slightly grumpy, but nevertheless excited for 4 days of blissful retreat that were to follow. After a fair bit of waiting and getting organised, we boarded the buses and were on our way to Hyatt, Kuantan. =)

After over six hours on the road, we finally emerged from the buses, restless and eager to get settled into our rooms. It was hot and sunny, and the sight of the beautiful beach in its expanse was an irresistible invitation for us to kick off our shoes and hit the beach. Barely half an hour after we had settled into our rooms, a good few of us were already gathered out on the beach soaking up the sun and enjoying the hotel’s resort facilities. There were also two goal posts on the beach, which the soccer enthusiasts among us were thrilled to find and made full use of for the better part of the afternoon (and the next couple of days!) =)

The swimming pool, though slightly small, had a goal post on each length of the pool. After we had all enjoyed ourselves enough on the beach, we hopped into the pool where we spent another hour or so playing water polo. The battle for the ball was mostly rough but everyone had fun. =) For the less sporty, it was still a good bit of fun bobbing aimlessly around the pool and watching the sporty ones engage in an action-packed and somewhat scary game of water polo (or maybe it was just me =op).

The next few days were truly fun-filled, with outdoor activities by day and fellowship by night.=) We enjoyed quality time with one another just doing the simplest of things, playing cards and talking nonsense till we fell asleep, and seeing one another in our ‘unglam’ moments. =op

All these activities really brought us together and strengthened our relationships, and this not only in the Crossover Ministry. During those four days, we were also able to spend time with the adult congregation, and it was truly encouraging to see the adults and the youth mingling, worshipping God, and listening to his word as one body. It reminds us of the importance of unity as expressed in the bible, ‘Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit- just as you were called to one hope when you were called- one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.’ Ephesians 4:3-6

Above all, was the undeniable presence of God during the sessions and teachings by Pastor Benny Ho. His teachings on the book of Philippians were practical and applicable, and caused us to re examine our lives and the areas where we were not right with God. The sessions were powerful and the Holy Spirit was really manifested not only during the teachings, but also the worship and ministry time.

Too soon, the time came for us to pack our bags and leave. The last morning was short and there was a typical scramble to get packed and checked out before we had our last lunch at Hyatt. Before we knew it we were boarding the buses again like we had just four days before. Of course everyone was noticeably sad, and a familiar reluctance to leave hung in the air.

On our way back to Singapore it occurred to me that no family camp every seemed long enough, and how I wished that we could have stayed for a couple more days. I suppose family camp is always thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated by those who attend, because it is always a time of refreshing and renewing both spiritually and physically, for both the young and the oldER. =o) This year was no exception. All glory be to God! =)

End

Anyway I finally met up with Daphne (aka MGS besty) yesterday! =) We met for dinner and made our way to dance. Having been absent from the dance scene for quite some time, we were confronted by a sudden, sickly nostalgia when we got to the studio and beheld a large group of dancers waiting for hip hop, all clad in either dance or 'hip-hopish' attire and looking like effortless professionals. While nothing was wrong with our attire (actually we were dressed pretty much the same), there was a nagging jittery sort of feeling, and we were both half kicking ourselves, wondering what in the world we had got outselves into. To make things worse, the back of the studio was uncovered, meaning that the people outside the studio had a perfect view of what we were doing, and if we were doing some silly moves it would have earned us nothing but comments and wierd looks from the unofficial audience. It all reminded me of the old days in dance, always the feeling of having to look and perform perfect, but it all came with the thrill of getting the right moves and doing them well to some good music. Minutes into the routine we were already sweating a good deal and having loads of fun, and needless to say, our apprehensions were gone. It was a good hour of great music and moves! Tremendous fun! =) So dancing's become part of my life again, and I'm pretty happy about it. =) Can't wait for next week.

So Daph and I hung out for awhile after dance.. grabbed some coffee and walked around at the esplanade =) Man I miss the good old days.




=)

Saviour,
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
My God is mighty to save
Forever,
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave




Everything we've been through, has come to nothing. You took off without warning, and left me stranded in a place I did not know, as though I meant nothing to you, after everything we had been through. You moved on like it didn't mean a fucking thing to you. I look at you and see no resemblence to the you I once knew, and loved. You moved on the day you left. I stayed, and fuck, I don't know why. I see it all now, and after so long I'm finally turning around, and deciding to walk away. It is worth nothing to me. Not anymore. And though it definitely took a long time for me to do this, at least I know I won't turn back. I'm over it.

i hate you
but i love you
i can't stop thinking of you
it's true
i'm stuck on you




Gorgeous crochet belt in gold! (: Goes great with jeans:



And here's a close up:



Going at $18 a piece.

Tea Party.



Available as a mismatched pair, or a matching set (:

$18 a pair. Available upon request!


Now for the other stuff (: Ever had a ridiculous crush on someone? Haha I've developed very inappropriate feelings for someone, and it's so wrong!! It's also quite funny to a certain extent (because it's plain ridiculous!) and the ones who know have been teasing me non-stop about it (: Hahah!

xoxo.B.




I fought to silence the emotions that instantly welled up within me as those words hit the core of me like a ton of bricks. I bit my lips in adamant resolution to keep those tears well within their ducts, where they could remain undetected and keep my true feelings secret. If you've ever tried biting a trembling lip in attempt to tame its emotion driven movements, you would probably agree it is harder than it seems, and takes more than just a straight face and a skillful grip of the teeth to succeed. From me, it demanded sheer, firm resolve.

In that moment I realised that not all feelings towards matters are best outwardly expressed. Those words, though harsh and seemingly unfair and untrue, came from someone I truly appreciate and respect and above all, I know they were spoken for my good, and were intended for building up, not tearing down. In that knowledge I refused to make a fuss out of it, or make my feelings known for that matter, so I let it pass.

Those words bore a haunting resonance throughout the day and I was utterly frustrated at how a small bunch of simple, well-intended words could have such adverse effects. The tears I had resolutely locked in earlier in the day now seemed to behold a fortress even stronger than the last, that made escape too difficult. Behind locked floodgates the tears and raging emotions remained, although begging to break free.

It was more than a full day later when I finally managed to grab a breather from the crazy schedule, and in the peace and privacy of those moments, I wept. I wouldn't bother telling anyone (besides my really close friends) why, it is too personal for someone other than me to grasp. So this is how it feels, to have the love you give away slammed back in your face. Few things come close to this sickly feeling.

But now that I've cried about it, it's over (:

Now for other things on my mind I have been dying to express. I am torn between two, but I have decided, that I will choose neither.

I love you, but we will never be.

I like you, but we can never be.

So much for love.

xoxo. B.




Am back from Kuantan! (: The ominous symptoms of a coming flu are beginning to manifest themselves and my body is now reaping the effects of 4 days of non-stop fun (: Have been asked to write an article about church camp for the first ministry newsletter (: Will post it here when I write it! In my fatigued state I can only manage this: Camp was greaaaat! I think God really moved powerfully during all the sessions, and the wonderful weather was the platform for all our outdoor activities (: Gorgeous beach, pool, sunrises and sunsets.

Haha. Anyway dinner has arrived. Will write more soon. Sorry for this slipshot one (:

xoxo. B.




A quick update before I leave for Kuantan tomorrow morning! xD

I'm doing promotional work for:





Liprageous lipbalms! (:

Collected the product write ups, and got two tubes of Liprageous balms for free (:

Quoting the flyer,

' Experience true indulgence with Lip Rageous' lip care products. Truly a treat for lips with great tasting flavours of Red Apple, Blue Raspberry and Watermelon. Blended with Aloe Vera, Vitamin E and SPF 15, Lip Rageous boasts duo features: - The ability to care, protect and at the same time, layering lips with a natural smooth touch of glaze along with sensual fruity flavours. Lip Rageous, whether you are stuck in the office or a bustling classroom, accentuate your smile with extra moisture and a light smack of shine. '

After I collected the flyers with Eneida, we left city hall and I made my way to Parkway to get my ripples slippers (: After a fair bit of a debate between the practical and impractical sides of me, for once the practical side managed to preside over the usually dominearing impractical Bev (: So I ended up with a pair of plain, but nice and unique pink slippers (: (It's really black but the straps are pink, and they're broad and extremely soft and comfy) Along with that, I got myself a brown ripples tote bag, which happened to come with a cosmetic case/pencil case and a bag to keep my slippers (: Neat.

Was on my way home when I spotted the words, ' Manicure and Pedicure - $35 ' in a shop window (: Upon my enquiry I was delighted to hear that students get a full mani and pedi at $30. It was of course too much to resist and without hesitation, I asked if I could get my nails done then and there (:

Turns out, the manicurist did promotional work for the same company that now promotes Lip Rageous too (: Small world. So my eyes started to wander around the room, and they met with impressive certificates from many reknowned beauty academies and companies. Suddenly the names on those certificates bore a strange familiarity, and so did the picture plastered on the wall, which I silently swore I had surely seen before. Knowing of no better way to clarify my doubt, I ended up asking a rhetorical question, and I felt quite stupid really, asking a question I already knew the answer to. It was a moment of comical surprise for both of us (: She happens to be a good friend of one of my ex boyfriends. Haha! The world gets smaller. Anyway I got my fingernails clad in the official bimbo colour - baby pink. Haha but they are really sweet, I have to admit (: My toes get to steal the show with this really glittery shade of Fuschia (: Against my blue roxy slippers, the colours really resembled the hues of Escada's Pacific Paradise scent. Haha! (: Before I left, Kiffany told me that she needs my help to promote her services (: So I agreed, under the impression that I was going to be a voluntary help, which I was happy about (: Turns out, she wants to pay me! (: I will do it well for sure, she's got real potential (:

Kiffany's credentials include : Biotherm, Anna Sui, i nuovi cosmetics, Hollywood Secrets (Paragon) and many more (: She's got great experience and specialises in almost everything! (: ROM makeup, dinner and dance, photoshoots (ARE YOU READING THIS AMELIA?), day makeup, passport photo makeup, manicures, hairstyling etc. Eyebrow trimming and eyebrow pencil for $8! (: Reach her at: 93857988. She is addressed as Kikki Oh.

Anyway my mum's screaming at me to get started with my packing =o) The sunny beach of Kuantan awaits. Oh, the joy! (: See you guys when I get back! Have a great week everyone! xD

xoxo. B.





Every inch of my body is reeling with excitement (:

Haha anyway I got this countdown timer thingie. Quite cute eh? But the dates seem a bit screwed up (:

So I went shopping for things to bring to camp, and as usual, I was pretty much carried away by other items which persistently called out my name till I gave them a try, and of course, bought them and spent more money! Bah :(

The latest additions to my wardrobe:

. Jeans with fabrice belt - M phosis
. White skirt - M phosis
. Brown cardigan - M phosis
. Brown tankini top - Sun Seeker
. Pink tankini bottom - Sun Seeker

Yay! (: Have spent a somewhat extravagant sum of money in the span of 2 days. Bought plenty of unique, lovely materials during the weekend too. After this (and my long awaited shower) I shall retire to my room for a night of unleashing creative juices.

Everyone taking the Chinese Os tomorrow..

All the best! (:

xoxo. B.




Nostalgia

Four o'clock in the morning
My mind's filled with a thousand thoughts of you
And how you left without warning
But looking back I'm sure you tried to talk it through

Now I see it so clearly
We're together but living separate lives
So I wanna tell you I'm sorry
Baby I can't find the words
But if I could, then you know I would

No I won't let go, know what we can be
I won't watch my life crashing down on me
Guess I had it all right there before my eyes, yeah
Girl, I'm sorry now you were the last thing on my mind

You carried me like a river
How far we've come still surprises me
And now I look in the mirror
Staring back is a man I used to be, with you
How I long for you

No I won't let go, know what we can be
I won't watch my life crashing down on me
Guess I had it all right there before my eyes, yeah
Girl, I'm sorry now you were the last thing on my mind

Girl, I'm sorry I was wrong
Could have been there
Should have been so strong
So I'm sorry

No I won't let go, know what we can be
I won't watch my life crashing down on me
Guess I had it all right there before my eyes, yeah
Girl, I'm sorry now you were the last thing on my mind

I won't watch my life crashing down on me
Guess I had it all right there before my eyes, yeah
Girl, I'm sorry now, you were the last thing on my mind

- Ronan Keating and LeAnn Rimes, last thing on my mind

No prizes for guessing what I was thinking of last.

xoxo. B (:




! Won a pink Anna Sui retro makeup tin just now (: Went crazy with Eneida in town fussing over perfume!! Going out again tomorrow (: Also, my manicure and pedicure will be done by this weekend in time for my vacation, and I am making Sunday the deadline for buying the following:

. Dorothy Perkins bikini
. Mango sunglasses
. Paul Frank beach slippers
. 'Bang on the door' beach bag

Da Vinci Code tomorrow! Yay (:

You: You're a tough nut to crack. Sometimes you make me want to die, but sometimes you just show that you still care in your own way, and I guess, that's really all I can expect or ask for right now, and I am grateful for that (: I just want you to be happy.

Too lazy to blog properly! Will soon (:

xoxo. B.




Mid year aftermath



Threesome hits pepper lunch!
















The end of the mid year exams have marked the start of days of continuous shopping and crazy deeds! Had some time to create some new accessories (: Am still waiting for my cameras to be repaired :( So no pictures yet! Nabbed Amelia's during free period in school to take 2 quick shots of one of my latest creations (: Apologies for the lousy pictures :(





Part of my earrings with me going crazy at the back (: I don't recall what madness I was up to! xD

A better entry soon! Tired from 3 days of non-stop fun (:

xoxo. B.




Newly imported! (:



Gold heart locket with floral detail!
1.5 cm x 1.5 cm
$3 per locket



Silver locket with intricate detail!
2 cm long, 1.5 cm wide
$3 per locket



Silver locket with intricate detail! (larger version)
3 cm long, 2 cm wide
$4.50 per locket

Get a free limited edition Anna Sui summer fragrance sampler with the purchase of every 5 charms or more!



Brought to you by:



Amelia and Beverly.

To place an order, drop us a comment/tag @ Mad Mushrooms or drop us an email at:

bevolutionary@gmail.com

plasticdollieam@gmail.com




Suppose Time decides to play a cruel prank on me and sends me back to the past to witness the things I have laboured to efface from my memory.

I emerge from the hurricane of blurred objects, faces and places. I find myself blinking into the faces of people I know. There is an uncanny familiarity in this time and place. Suddenly the floor beneath my feet begins to jerk. I look up and recoil in instant epiphany. The bus ride. A wave of nausea ripples through my body, sending it into a chilling spasm. The bus ride, I repeat again to myself. Hot tears now sting my eyes as I recall the significance of this seemingly quotidian activity. Time pushes me further down the aisle as I writhe in defiance. I know where it is taking me. Within seconds, I see it. You and me, and we are falling, fast. Stop. It will end in disaster. I watch as we chatter away, affection growing with every second as though forming an invisible, unbreakable bond between us. I nearly smile. It is beautiful. Tears flood my eyes again as I remember. I've seen 2 years down the road.


I am back in my room. I sigh in utter relief. I must have been dreaming. My room door swings open. I turn around and I know my nightmare isn't over. I see it again. You and me. This time, we are alone. We enter the room and I am beaming at my latest possession, a gigantic balloon sculpted into the shape of a flower. You, knowing me chose the pink one. I am elated. I set it nicely on the table and thank you again for the flower. You smile and motion for me to come sit next to you. Another afternoon is spent. Next to each other, just talking. Our conversations that seem so trivial, somehow mean so much. You say, I don't want this to end, ever. I say, I don't either. Everything seems to have fallen into place. It is ours forever. But I've seen 2 years down the road.


By now I am convinced of Time's cruelty. I make no effort to fight against it as my surroundings melt into a surreal blur of images. This time I am in a movie, and I see it again. You and me. We are laughing so hard we are starting to cry. You put your arm around me and pull me into a sweet embrace. My head rests on your shoulder. We're in heaven. But I've seen 2 years down the road.


Now Time decides to send a bullet through my heart. It is a night of celebration. I see it again. You and me. This time we really look like we are about to take our vows. You clad in a suit and me, a floor length dress. You take my hand and lead me away from the crowd. Let's go for a walk, you say. It seems crazy, but I would do anything with you. We go down the stairs and right away people begin to stare. We are guessing they think we are eloping. We are starting to find an unlikely streak of humour in the situation. Giggling and quickly making our way through the crowd, we make it to the seaside. People are still looking. We are too wrapped up in each other to care. We say nothing as we stroll down the beach. We don't have to. We stop. We embrace. You say my name. I look up. I can imagine us here, in 8 years time. And we'd be walking exactly like we are now. Only, we'll be married. But I've seen 2 years down the road.


By now my heart is bursting with grief. Again, I see it. You and me. I am too exhausted to cry. You call your parents over. I blush. You beam with pride. The four of us smile for the camera. It is a perfect shot. It seems set in stone. We are. But I've seen 2 years down the road.


Two years down the road, we become strangers. Yet you remain to me, a pentimento impossible to ignore, or forget.




Watched MI3 today (: And had a whole load of fun with the girls.. namely Vanessa, Debra, Leona, Charis and Wendy! (: I totally fell in love with this pair of maroon shades from Topshop (: More fun awaits me on Sunday, going out again to watch Poiseidon. MENTAL NOTE: Don't forget the tissues. Not my kind of movie, really :( Loads of people die. Anyway yay! Seinfeld marathon with Wendy at my place tomorrow (: For those of you puzzling over what Seinfeld is, you're missing out on one of the most hilarious comedies of all time. Tsk tsk (:

Reading: Antony and Cleopatra by Shakespeare

'Human nature is predictable but constantly surprising, apparently knowable yet finally baffling.'

CLEOPATRA
If it be love indeed, tell me how much.

ANTONY
There's beggary in the love that can be reckoned.

xoxo. B.




I am now experiencing the dull ache all over my body oweing to nights of insufficient sleep, not spent staying up late burning the midnight oil as you would expect, but doing all sorts of leisurely things at a very inappropriate time (: With 3 more papers to go (I would consider them minor), the holiday mood has already kicked in, and I am not fighting it but wholly embracing it with delight (:

List of things to do:
. Set up a garage sale, get rid of the junk!
. Do something about my malfunctional cameras and take pictures of my new creations (:
. Party with Eneida and Amelia xD
. Watch more Seinfeld with Wendy!!
. Get my long anticipated Pedicure done (:
. Party with the Paraphernalia gals (:
. Go back to MGS with Daphne!!!!!
. Catch up with Serene (:
. Do more crazy things with besty! xD
. Watch The Da Vinci Code

(Allow me to digress here as I express my disapproval of Tom Hanks as the protagonist in Da Vinci.) I personally feel that not only is he surrounded by the 'family man' image as a result of his roles in previous films, but he also lacks the mystery that constitutes a good portion of Robert Langdon's character. I am not writing Tom Hanks off just yet, though.. His performance in the movie might prove better than I expect. I just think that Johnny Depp (honestly) is a more suitable choice for the protagonist in terms of looking the part. Haha (: I am really looking forward to seeing Paul Bettany's acting in the film, (he plays the part of Silas) which I am confident he will carry out with much effectiveness. He has proved himself a flexible actor, comparing his wholesomeness in Wimbledon, to his devious demeanor in Firewall, both of which were stunning performances (: Haha so back to my list..

. Watch the sequel to Pirates of the Carribean! Johnny Depp at last xD
. Improve on my F & N coursework
. Great Singapore sale!!! When I get my money (:
. Making more accessories with the new materials I've accumulated (:

Digressing again! Joanne recently commissioned me to make 3 bracelets and 1 ring for her mother and aunties for mothers' day (: I feel so honoured and trusted, haha mainly because she trusted my taste and asked me to just go with whatever I felt was nice for them! (:


List of things to buy (if I have enough!Haha):
. Escada, Pacific Paradise fragrance
. Britney Spears, Fantasy fragrance and lipgloss!
. The C.S Lewis compilation, worth every cent
. A dozen other thingsI can't remember.. Haha will list them down when I remember (:


Anyway just stopped by for a quick entry. Am going to whip up some dinner now. I'm starved (:

xoxo.Love! B.




The sordid filth that has subtly crept into my heart has done its destroying work, turning the once penetrable walls of my heart into an impenetrable mass of stone. Impenetrable to all but you, my saviour. Despite my heart of stone you sought me, and caused me to see my heart in its raw state, a cold stone wherein lies a labryinth of unresolved issues and lies of the devil. I need you. Break my heart of stone, burn away its twisted deformities, consume it, and turn it into one on fire for you. Take your rightful place.

Lord hear our cry
Come heal our land
Breathe life into these dry and thirsty souls
Lord hear our prayer
Forgive our sin
As we call on your name
Won't you make this place for your glory to dwell?
Open the blind eyes
Unlock the deaf ears
Come to your people as we draw near
Hear us from heaven
Touch our generation
We are your people
Crying out in desperation
Hear us from heaven
Hear us from heaven
Hear us from heaven

A cry for revival.




After several weeks of considerable fuss, the elections have finally taken place. I've been too busy with work and what-nots to actually listen to the representatives of The Worker's Party, so I cannot say that I've seen or heard enough to have a definitive opinion of who should win this round of elections, but here's my two cents' worth. It is highly unlikely that the PAP will lose this time round, but it will be interesting to see how much ground they lost to the Worker's Party. Although the Worker's party lacks the kind of charisma and credibility so effortlessly displayed by the PAP, they have somehow managed to garner themselves a respectable 'band of followers', and chances are, the votes will come quite close. I don't know, but I suppose we'll find out (: I found myself rather amused by besty's complaints of the Worker's party's harangue on why they should come into power that took place just outside her block, that caused an unfortunate amount of noise pollution. Haha (: Well I suppose the Worker's party will have its own strengths (as all parties do), but the way I see it, it will take a couple more years at least for them to have a shot at coming into power. Right now, too many Singaporeans acknowledge the PAP's efficiency in handling the 'bread and butter' issues, the housing, education.. and as a matter of fact, the PAP does deliver, so few locals see a need for change in government, and find the idea of electing a new government into power uneccessary. I suppose many are also scared or uncomfortable with the idea of a change of government. That said, the PAP is also unlikely to lose its place in government considering the reverence surrounding their largest asset, Mr. Lee Kuan Yew, who has earned the respect of the entire nation in his own right. Many would see his immeasurable contributions to this society as reason enough to seal the PAP's continued reign. Loyalty they call it? (:

Well enough of that, I am aching all over due to my constant shopping and gallivanting. I see it as a good thing though, all this fun I've been having motivates me to study. So I plan (adamantly) on studying for a good full day tomorrow once I get home from church (: So I should really knock off soon. Anyway I was deleting all the trash in my computer, and I came across lots of old pictures. Memories, the things and people I miss.

I am too tired to resize the photos now, so these will have to do (:

A trip down memory lane.


Christmas carolling two years back. Check out my expression (: Haha!


Camp induced fatigue! Me being grumpy and sleepy (: Youth camp 2004


Just look at those goons x)


Girls just wanna have fun! Crossover end-of-year party 2004


Crossover end-of-year party group shot! Check out besty and I in the middle holding the pineapples xD Haha!


Sheena, me and Joanne (:


My teacher chasing me for work (:


The view from my window.


I vandalise. (:


My favourite pet. I lost him :(


The girls <3


St. Hilda's 70th Anniversary Dinner. In our dance teeshirt (:


Church camp a long time ago (:


Cell group (: Love this bunch!


Barbecue!(:


The crazy guys! xD


Lost love.


Well, time to knock off. Seriously doubt I'll fall asleep soon though. These pictures and memories have put me in a contemplative state of mind. You guys have a good night while I toss and turn (:

xoxo. B.




Reading: Le divorce by Diane Johnson

Put simply, a juxtaposition of American and French culture, wrapped in a carousel of expensive lunches, high heels, scandals, and all that gives the life lived in France its glamourous facade, mystery and if I may add, its much coveted status. A fantastic read!(:


So I managed to get down to studying for the mid years today, FINALLY (: Did chemistry for the better part of today, and I must admit, it paid off (: With some sheer determination and an unlikely streak of discipline which arose out of nowhere, I managed to clarify whatever doubts I had in my mind about the bewildering subject. Afterwhich, I felt it neccessary that I indulge in a long-awaited good read (: The book's almost due for returning anyway. I've missed this hobby of reading, and I am glad I've somehow managed to make time for it lately. I guess it's another gift of singleness (: Put together another bracelet today, and I am rather pleased with the way it looks (: It is an intricated piece, an alternation of two different but complimentary designs of chinoiserie beads, held together by rustic gold vine charms. It looks very Romeo and juliet. I am aptly naming this piece Eden.

Anyway, I am convinced that certain events of late have caused a rather great disparity between the way I used to see things and the way I see them now. I imagine a cartoonist's portrayal of this to be a well drawn picture of a battered up girl, wearing a pair of glasses with the word 'cynicism' explicitly spelt out across both lenses, with a tag hanging from the glasses on the side, saying, ' for survival in a harsh world'. This image is vivid in my mind right now, and if not for my non-existent drawing skills, I would have whipped up a rather decent looking caricature (or rather, mockery) of myself by now.




Why do I still find myself hanging on to every word and action of yours? Why does every word that comes from your mouth, or every character you type have the power to send me into bursts of euphoric adrenaline, or contrarily, waves of consuming, nauseating despair? This notion that I have lost all trace of feelings for you, is one that I find myself repeating almost laboriously in my head, despite my knowledge of its futility.

I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side
So I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust
Not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid




The past few days have been trying beyond measure. For all who are reading this, be prepared to be hit by an avalanche of laments and vulgarities, or close this page and perhaps, find something else to do that would be more worth your while.

I am too tired/frustrated/enraged/confused to give a FUCK about manners right now. Am plain sick of school and the people in it. I have decided to not give a FUCK anymore about people who make remarks about me or how I live my life for that matter, that are entirely uncalled for, all remarks being not only unconstructive and negative, but also blatantly unsupported and some, complete, preposterous fabrications. The nerve on some people! Do NOT fucking judge me, do not push me too far by continuing with your nefarious comments. They reek of critisism and plain oblivion to your own flaws. NONE of your useless opinions should matter to me. Not if they are only out to belittle, discourage or provoke. If you have nothing good to say, don't say it.

I am shocked at how forthright I am these days. I suppose I have just had enough of all this nonsense, and I have lost all sense of tolerance and also the art of closing an eye or two at things. All my emotions have been built up and pushed aside till they've become something like an iceberg. My occassional rants were only insignificant reflections of the actual emotional storm that was brewing. Unknown to even myself, 90% of my fury was still lurking beneath the surface, like a time bomb waiting to explode. For your own sakes, heed this warning and do not try to test my patience or step on my toes with hopes that you might get me down. Do not even think of trying. I am doing my best to get this mess called my life cleaned up. If you insist on getting in my way, I will spare you no mercy and you can start saying your prayers for the surest hell you are certain to face.

I would like to clarify that all this is directed not at everybody, but only to a select, annoying few. So if you've given me no reason to blow up at you, no worries (: For the record, I am sorry for being such a bitch. Like I said, I'm just too tired to put things across in a less condemning manner. These days, I say what I mean, and mean what I say. These days the world seems out to get me, and I wish everbody would just leave me alone and GO AWAY.






I don't forsee myself blogging much this week. It's only Monday and yet a daunting, hefty pile of work is already piled up, demanding my full and undivided attention for the next few days or so :( Sigh.

Anyway I've already spent the better part of today gallivanting about with Amelia and after that, with my Mum and Auntie at Bras Basah (: Dropped by art friend and just looking at all the art and craft materials in the store made me realise how diversified my interests are. A jack of all trades, and a master of none. Nevertheless, i enjoy being able to dabble in different hobbies, it offers me the variety that I crave by nature. And I suppose, it gives me lots of outlets to unleash whatever creative ideas I may have worked up in my head, but never got down to doing anything about them, besides mentally compiling them till they've become a mental scrapbook of some sort.

I have also recently developed an unlikely interest in Opus Dei. Don't get me wrong, not that I am being misled into some kind of misconception on matters to do with religious ideas, or strange delusions for that matter. I simply enjoy the mystery and controversy of it all. Not everybody's cup of tea, I know (: But the book which I picked up out of curiosity at popular named(expectedly), 'Opus Dei' proved mesmerising and caused a rather bad strain on my back as a result of my attempt to look inconspicuous in a quiet corner of the store with my heavy schoolbag, while eagerly turning the pages of the highly entertaining book and relishing its contents. Haha! I also feel good about myself, having purchased a couple of o-level five year series books, with every intention of completing them well before the preliminary exams in August/September/Whenever it is (:

Hahaha. Don't raise that eyebrow just yet! I may surprise you (: Let me emphasise on the word, may. Lol. It has occured to me during the past few days(I have been strangely contemplative lately) that I lack the competitive edge. Always telling myself to be the 'best I can be' instead of the best, sometimes not realising that 'the best I can be', more often than not, would prove insufficient for survival in this rat-racing society. I don't know. My feelings on this matter are mixed. It's never been my nature to want to be the best, to rise above all others. I suppose the mere thought of being in that position scares me to a certain extent, because of the plain competitiveness of it all. I look at these students with aggregates as low as 2 (@^$%!@) and I am baffled. I've honestly never really mustered up enough energy or courage for that matter, to be competitive with the youth of this day and age. Perhaps because I fear not being able to make the cut, or falling below my expectations(or that of others) which would prove demoralising more than anything else. I cannot deny the fact that despite these reservations that I have, something in me still stirs, and tells me that I am not satisfied and don't want to settle for the status-co. I want to be up there, though it seems more than a long shot right now. I will just have to try.

xoxo. B.




So this was one blast of a weekend :D

Friday
My mum was entitled to a free night's stay at Raffles The Plaza, so after school on Friday, I skipped chem extra lesson (along with 2/3 of the class :D) and headed right down to the hotel!We spent the night shuffling aimlessly around city hall, raffles city and suntec. Indulged in many extravagant and impractical buys! Haha.. But anyway. It was fun. Dinner at the Swiss restaurant was the cherry on top of a fantastic day (: Beef fondue and traditional Swiss Bratwurst with Rosti. Hmmmmm (: Watched cable for the rest of the night. I do not wish to recount on how freaked out I was by Nightmare on Elm street. I have a weak heart, and can't take scares for nuts. Ahhhhhhhh :(

Saturday
We found ourselves blinking into daylight and realised that we had unintentionally slept the better part of the morning away! It was 10.30, and our hopes of having a much anticipated breakfast at Raffles hotel were dashed. We figured there would be no time, so we just stayed in and pigged out on Ruffles and a chocolate truffle from baker's inn. Haha. After that, I recieved a message from Amelia telling me of this cosmetic warehouse sale going on at suntec. So we went! And bought more things. Hahahaha. I am the proud new owner of:
- Anna Sui lip palette $10
- Anna sui mascara $5
- Anna Sui nail stickers 3 packs for $2
- Anna Sui cosmetic pouch $1
- Toni and Tina teeshirt $3 which came with a free reversible hat :D
- Toni and Tina shimmer powder (I can't remember how much but it was definitely less than a dollar)

Woot xD

After that, we checked out and said goodbye to our lovely room. Haha. It was fun. Just realised I've been so busy, that it's been ages since I last spent time with Mum. Should soon (: By then, it was lunchtime. Met wendy (: And went for music prac together about 3 hours later.

Sunday (today)
After church, a couple of us headed downtown to hang out (: We had Billy Bombers and we sat there laughing over stupid things for a good hour and a half (thereabouts) :D Haha.. I indulged in a banana split. A fantastic one if I may add :D After everyone left it was just me and besty. Walked around Orchard and talked about things. Did our usual window shopping (: And had fun trying on PJs! Hahahah (: I found this gorgeous skirt I insist on buying. It's beyond words! <3

Parting ways with a friend is always a sad affair on a Sunday evening especially. In the knowledge that in less than 12 hours away, we would be back in school. And the tormenting cycle goes back to the beginnning. Classic Monday blues. I detest it.

Was rather tired on the bus and was close to falling asleep when Amelia called. Haha so we talked about funny and random things till I got home (: And now, I'm in a good mind to have a long, hot bath. As for my accessories, I am on hiatus (: Have had absolutely no time to create anything new, and what's worse, I am too broke to get any new materials! Hahah. I am encouraged though, managed to sell 6 pieces in the past week! (: I need a vacation.

xoxo. B.




Watching - World On Fire by Sarah McLachlan


So the past week has been mundane. It just hit me from nowhere how life's atrocities have left me more cynical and jaded than ever. Not the girl I once was, and I hardly raise an eyebrow at anything anymore. Nothing surprises me. Black and white have merged into a single shade of grey. I am losing this head on my shoulders. Maybe it already is lost.


Then again, videos like World On Fire make me realise how out of perspective my lamentations on life are.


Hearts are worn in these dark ages
You're not alone in this story's pages
Night has fallen amongst the living and the dying
And I try to hold it in,
Yeah I try to hold it in

The world's on fire
It's more than I can handle
I'll tap into the water
(I try to pull my ship)
I try to bring more
More than I can handle
(Bring it to the table)
Bring what I am able

I watch the heavens and I find a calling
Something I can do to change this moment
Stay close to me while the sky is falling
Don't wanna be left alone
Don't wanna be alone

The world's on fire
It's more than I can handle
I'll tap into the water
(I try to pull my ship)
I try to bring more
More than I can handle
(Bring it to the table)
Bring what I am able

Hearts break, hearts mend
Love still hurts
Visions clash, planes crash
Still there's talk of
Saving souls, still the cold
Is closing in on us

We part the veil on our killer sun
Stray from the straight line on this short run
The more we take, the less we become
A fortune of one that means less for some

The world's on fire
It's more than I can handle
I'll tap into the water
(I try to pull my ship)
I try to bring more
More than I can handle
(Bring it to the table)
Bring what I am able


On a more positive note, my seafood platter tonight exceeds my initial expectations! (: And I seem to be warming up to the concept of comfort food. Well, have been blogging for quite some time now, and I am feeling slightly better having expressed some lingering thoughts and actually getting down to coming up with a decent entry (: Time to go join the rat race.

xoxo. B.




Lost love.

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

- One art, by Elizabeth Bishop




Paul Bettany is new on my list of hot actors (: Just got back from the movie firewall (starring Harrison Ford and Paul Bettany) with my Mum, and I must say I am incredibly impressed with Bettany's acting in this film (in which he takes on the role of a bank robber/kidnapper). It was only in the middle of the movie that it occured to me.. that this merciless fellow was the same guy whose performance in Wimbledon tugged tangibly at my heartstrings! :D Okay, I know this sounds more like the ramblings of an adoring schoolgirl fan than mere comments on an actor's skills.. I find it hard to disagree actually :D I honestly think it's his adooooorable British accent xD Haha! Which leads me to realise.. that the three actors on the top of my list are all English.. (:

HOT!!!



1. Johnny Depp
2. Daniel Radcliffe
3. Paul Bettany

OR:

1. Daniel Radcliffe
2. Johnny Depp
3. Paul Bettany

OR:

1. Paul Bettany
2. Daniel Radcliffe
3. Johnny Depp


Decisions, decisions (: And speaking of decisions, I have quite a few to make now, given that the bbq is less than 24 hours away! :D I shall go catch up on some sleep, and do the worrying and scurrying around tomorrow (: So I had a pretty fun day. School was alright, and I met up with Amelia at cartel for some American cheesecake, potato wedges and ring making xD Haha..




He's more heaven than a heart could hold.

And I don't know, I don't know what he's after.

But he's so beautiful, such a beautiful disaster.


Barbercue at my place this Friday! (:

Yayy (:

Bought a floral wrap-around beach skirt (:




New skin (: My right column is a mess though. Will do something about it if I get free anytime this week (: Anyway, I have been glued to C.S Lewis' The Screwtape Letters, a mesmerising and diabolical correspondence between two devils (: One heck of a book! Mind candy. Indulging in good reads have kept me fairly preoccupied lately (:

Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more,

Men were deceivers ever,

One foot in sea and one on shore,

To one thing constant never.

- Shakespeare, Much ado about nothing


I owe a million people letters :( And meetups. The wheels are ever in motion.

Anyway, time's up. Miss Singapore Universe 2006 beckons. Haha! (:




Beverly returns to the blogging scene after over a week of going MIA! (: Been tied up with too much to do! Anyway i am feeling extremely accomplished now! xD Just finished tidying up the paraphernalia site and all that nitty gritty that goes into starting a mini business (: The photography was fantastic, credits to my talented cousin! (: Well, http://theparaphernaliashop.blogsome.com is now officially open (: To the girls of paraphernalia (namely - Daphne, Elaine and Charmaine), I've really enjoyed myself working with you guys for the past few months!Stay yourselves always, we make a great team! (: Love you guys!

Speaking of mini businesses, besides being a designer for paraphernalia, I am also dabbling in freelance accessory-making, and I will be at http://thetiarasafe.blogsome.com ,a somewhat predictable blog address for those who know me well? (: haha. Anyway I have decided to have two blogs, this one and the tiara safe. This one mainly for personal thoughts, the other one for the usual ramblings xD Blogsome allows categorising entries, so it allows my random entries to not mix with entries to do with my freelance craft :D I am one happy girl now.


It matters not how strait the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll; I am the master of my fate, the captain of my soul.


Time to watch Harry Potter on DVD (: Daniel Radcliffe is smouldering!




you're not worth trying for. neither are you. going to st. margs is the stupidest mistake i've made in my life. period.




got a new phone (:




counting my blessings.. (:


http://apps.rockyou.com/rockyou.swf?"> quality="high" wmode="transparent" bgcolor="#000000" width="426" height="320" name="rockmyspace" align="middle" allowScriptAccess="never" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" />




heading down a new, different road
jesus take the wheel




this is where you paste your information when you forget to bring your f & n diskette (:

some relevant links i found..

http://www.ocean.udel.edu/mas/seafood/nutritioninfo.html
http://www.nutritiondata.com/
http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~mjw/recipes/seafood/index.html


okay, i'm spending this 5 period f & n session in an entirely unproductive manner (: well research isn't exactly a piece of pie with a malfunctional mouse is it? (: it refuses to work properly, even after the ball's been changed =/ haha. anyway i think i shall go do some quizzes now (:

You Are Cherry Pie

You're the perfect combo of innocent and sexyThose who like you enjoy a contradiction

my most lathargic day in ages. before i get down to recounting today's activites, i have some things i need to say...

i am sorry. whether or not you did it, i don't know. but i had no right to go overboard with my words, now i realise they've done irreparable damage. i don't expect you to forgive me, but i am sorry. i've taken that entry off the blog, just so you know. you didn't deserve it.


so, went down to bugis with amelia to buy her stuff (: haha she'll kill me if i say where.. so i'll save my skin by shutting up? (: haha had my dose of street food at bugis village when we succumbed to temptation and bought a packet of deep fried chicken cubes with seasoning each! x) didn't do much. shuffled around aimlessly between bugis, bugis street, icon and arab street. haha in the end we got sooo tired and lathargic, that we decided to part ways. i joined my relatives for more sinful indulgence at the singapore sailing club.. and shortly after, changi beach club! i am seriously stuffed now xD haha.. so it was pretty much a relaxing day. meeting up with bowen tomorrow (: can't wait for friday. that's when all the action begins.. (:

Your Outrageous Name is:

Enorma Sass

Outrageous Name Generator

?? hahahahahaha (:

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF) You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals. You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings. You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships. In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily. At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career. With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone. As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style. On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test




okay, i'm blogging for the second time today. just had to do something about that template! :) love this new one to bits <3 anyway these quizzes are so fun when you've got nothing better to do/you're just not in the mood for anything productive or serious x)

Your Five Variable Love Profile

Propensity for Monogamy: Your propensity for monogamy is medium.In general, you prefer to have only one love interest.But it's hard for you to stay devoted for too long!There's too much eye candy to keep you from wandering. Experience Level: Your experience level is high.You've loved, lost, and loved again.You have had a wide range of love experiences.And when the real thing comes along, you know it! Dominance: Your dominance is low.This doesn't mean you're a doormat, just balanced.You know a relationship is not about getting your way.And you love to give your sweetie a lot of freedom. Cynicism: Your cynicism is low.You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance.No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter.You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate.And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon. Independence: Your independence is low.This doesn't mean you're dependent in relationships..It does mean that you don't have any problem sharing your life.In your opinion, the best part of being in love is being together.

Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me"

A total sweetheart, you always have a lot of love to give out.Your heart is open to where ever love takes you! Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking What turns you off: fighting and conflict Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have low extroversion. You are quiet and reserved in most social situations.A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you.You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people. Conscientiousness: You have low conscientiousness.Impulsive and off the wall, you don't take life too seriously.Unfortunately, you sometimes end up regretting your snap decisions.Overall, you tend to lack focus, and it's difficult for you to get important things done. Agreeableness: You have high agreeableness.You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly.Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone.You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance. Neuroticism: You have medium neuroticism.You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic.Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy.Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is medium.You are generally broad minded when it come to new things.But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it.You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.

You Are Mud Pie

You're the perfect combo of flavor and depthThose who like you give into their impulses

Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking

You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal.You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk. You should major in: PhilosophyMusicTheologyArtHistoryForeign language

nostalgia.

hey all :) for one, i am positively delighted.. we let out at 11 tomorrow! will head down to bugis with amelia for some shopping.. will see if i can drop by arab? :) there is also a chance that i'll get to go over to changi beach club to meet my relatives for tea.. which means that i can collect my photoshoot pictures from my cousin! yay xD well school today was blah as usual, and by the time we ended i was practically stoned already. which secondary school in the right mind lets its students off at 3.30?? anyway i could not go out with besty today because i ended late.. bummer =( well i've got plenty of things to look forward to this week, and i'm glad to say i've finally got a move on and started on my f & n coursework. period :) hahaha.. that took awhile. but better late than never ya? x) i am going to get my blogshop up and running.. like now. haha or at least i shall try.. =) can't wait for friday night... xD

someday my prince will come. he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.






got this off amelia's :

Ingredients :Lemon (I used yellow skin)
Distilled water
Method :Using 1 Lemon per distilled water (1.5L usually)
Drink this concoction from the moment you wake up till 5pm.
No food or other drink intake during these hours.
After 5pm, take an apple or non citrus fruit.
At 6pm, take Fish soup with rice, or oatmeal.
Absolutely no heavy dinner!Do the above for 3 days!
Can only repeat detox after 1 month.Do not do Detox when you are pregnant, nursing.
Warnings :Do not change any of the ingredient, this detox only works using the above. If you want to change the ingredient, then you are only wasting your effort.Add more maple syrup if you feel giddy, no strength, it provides calories need.It will not incur gastric, as lemon turn alkaline when in our stomachDrink to avoid thirst, not wait for thirst to drink.

it cracks me up!hahahahaha solid hilarious stuff =) anyway amelia and i headed down to arab street right after school with the intention of buying some jewellery materials and budget items :) i got an inch close to buying some nice charms and beads for a charm bracelet when mum called and explicitly summoned me home :( so there went our shopping trip. we've decided to go on wednesday after school. we let out at 11! yay =) well i just realised i didn't update about the hols at all. basically the holidays just flew by as usual.. and i've got too many things on my mind to recall the details :) will write about the hols some other time.. maybe do a photo collage? =) yeah. lol i seriously have to change this template. and this blog is moving soon! :)

ignite was an awesome time though =)




Guess mine is not the first heart broken
My eyes are not the first to cry
I'm not the first to know
There's just no getting over you
You know, I'm just a fool who's willing
To sit around and wait for you
But baby can't you see
There's nothing else for me to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you
But now there's nowhere to hide
Since you pushed my love aside
I'm out of my head
Hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you
My head is saying "Fool, forget him"
My heart is saying "Don't let go"
Hold on 'till the end
That's what I intend to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you
But now there's nowhere to hide
Since you pushed my love aside
I'm out of my head
I'm hopelessly devoted to you
I'm hopelessly devoted to you
I'm hopelessly devoted to you
- olivia newton john, ' hopelessly devoted to you '

couldn't have said it better myself.




there must be more than this




i need coffee and some decent sleep.

did i lose my love to someone better?
and does she love you like i do
i do
you know
i really, really do

somebody save me.






am about to retire for the night after 6 hours of non stop jewellery making =/ nuff said. i am zombified. going to daphne's in a couple of hours :) so i should probably knock off now. a better entry tomorrow, i promise :) love!




i am one happy girl now =) won't say why though :)) lol.. anyway i am finally done with the paraphernalia website! :) http://theparaphernaliashop.blogsome.com/ check it out okay! couldn't upload 90% of the photos though =x lol will do something about that tomorrow. in the meantime i have to go take a shower.. and cook dinner.. call daphne.. and make more earrings :) cheers! <3


9 pm...
i'm back. and confused.
are you, or are you not?

i love him, but only on my own. - les miserables





haha i forgot to blog about my eventful night at NUS on friday :) well, i'm really tired now so a brief one will have to do for now yea? so the three of us ( daphne , charm and myself ) had dinner and went really crazy over pasta and milkshakes =o) at this cafe called chunky monkey i think.. lol at NUS. i nearly died walking there from the bus stop i alighted at. but anyway :) dinner paid off. after that, we managed to get a good picture of how the sale's gonna be, so we made more arrangements and preparations, and at nine plus we were all on our way home =) took me much longer though.. considering the fact that i had to walk from one end of the blasted campus to the other (AGAIN) =o) to get to my bus stop.. where i patiently waiting for bus 30 to take me home =) haha. i know i said friday night was supposed to be eventful, but this entry doesn't exactly reflect that. in actual fact, it was eventful but due to my work induced fatigue i am unable to properly recall and express the interesting details of the night =/ maybe tomorrow? lol :) oh met amelia for like 15 minutes at parkway after church today. was feeling strangely generous and treated her to a cup of oreo ice blend =) yawn. i'm tired, and in a good mind to skip school tomorrow. feel tired enough to be sick. guess that's my cue to get off the comm. soon =) or actually.. now. haha :) till the next one. love!




feeling: accomplished :)

i've just finished up the paraphernalia business cards! :) for those of you wondering what paraphernalia is, it's the name of the stall we (the girls and myself) will be setting up at the NUS arts festival this coming weekend! =) yes, mark your calendars and if you guys could come down, we would be ever so grateful :) details are as follows:

where: NUS cultural centre, foyer.
when: 10 March (Friday) 6pm - 9pm
11 March (Saturday) 11am - 9pm
12 March (Sunday) 11am - 9pm

=) hope to see you guys there! anyway, the excitement is comsuming.. although it is putting me under a bit of a sleepy spell, owing to the late nights spent working on the sale pieces and making all the last minute preparations. much is still left to do. i am in a good mind to jump into bed right now and enjoy some well deserved (dare i say) sleep =) haha but unfinished work beckons. i've just completed the business cards, website and email registration details (the blasted usernames were all unavailable!).. so now it's time to divert my attention back to schoolwork. didn't go to netball or cell group today so i could complete some work. wow.. that's quite a miracle, really. =) hahaha. i have a bad feeling i won't be able to hit the shops with besty tomorrow because of all my work :( what am i, a workaholic now??? oh well. cheers to sunny days and having things to be busy with =)




A photo can say a thousand things
But it cant say the million things i wanna say
A photo can capture the way we were
But it cant capture the way we are
Cause you're far away

What it's like to know you
What it's like to touch you, yeah

When you told me that you loved me
Were those just words?
You cant tell me you dont need me
And i know that hurts
Cause im looking at your picture
Cause its all i've got
Maybe one day you and me will have
One more shot

Timing lost minutes and moments
Yeah i might be lonely
But im not afraid
In a second it all comes right back to me
No nothings forgotten now
Yeah everythings saved

What its like to touch you
What its like to know you, Yeah

When you told me that you loved me
Were those just words?
You cant tell me you dont need me
And i know that hurts
Cause im looking at your picture
Cause its all i've got
Maybe one day you and me will have
One more shot

You were my life
You were my faith
You gave me hope everyday

When you told me that you loved me
Were those just words?
You cant tell me you dont need me
And i know that hurts
Cause im looking at your picture
Cause its all i've got
Maybe one day you and me will have
One more shot


so we met at daphne's house today for some jewellery designing =) was pampered with a delectable plate of pasta carbonara, compliments of daphne :)) i recall myself stuffing my face in quite a ghastly manner.. and that was probably because i had only eaten a cookie and half a glass of milk for the entire day before i got to her house :) haha it left me zombified for the better part of the school day. nevertheless, lunch at her place was great =)

was pretty comical the way we were all freaking out because the sale is 8 days away. in the midst of all the jewellery making frenzy and arrangements, it's still terribly fun :) am glad we embarked on this little project. i just hope it turns out to be a success, though. anyway the clock is ticking.. and i should really get on with designing more pieces now.. so till the next entry! :) by the way, can someone please tell me how to upload pictures onto my blog. i seem incapable of it =(




Smile for the picture my dear
Its another day, another dream, another new year
And who knows what you'll find
But it's all comin' round
All in good time

my songs are taking eons to download as usual :( only one word i have to describe today - ordinary. had to drag myself out of bed to go to school though, i am starting to hate school more with every day. why can't people just chill and get along? am proud of myself, though.. managed to hand up all the f & n work i owed :) other than that, there was nothing really special about today.. fell asleep during lessons again. it's a bit worrying, because i've never been this sleepy all the time before =/ something is wrong with me. anyway, i am officially stressed. sale at NUS is in 10 days.. help. don't wanna go to school. it's a bloody waste of my time. oh.. chilled out at the poolside again today :) realised how much i love my house, and how much i really appreciate it. may have realised this too late. it may be taken away. sometime soon. i can just imagine how i would feel. like a part of me being ripped out.. again. am starting to wonder if there's even anything left. well, whatever doesn't kill me only makes me stronger. so, gonna get on with things now. cheers




my uneventful monday:
. falling asleep in math
. falling asleep in SS (nearly, haha)
. falling asleep in bio
. subway for lunch :)
. falling asleep during chinese
. falling asleep yet again during bio common test
. missing by bus
. reading on the bus (when it finally came)
. falling asleep on the bus and missing my stop =o) LOL
. getting a bag of chips from 7 eleven at marine parade to keep me awake.. to make sure i didn't miss my stop AGAIN
. getting onto bus 608
. sitting on the edge of my seat and deliberately keeping my eyes wide open so i wouldn't fall asleep... haha think the woman opposite me got freaked out or something =o)
. finally reached home!! :)
. bummed around at the playground enjoying some evening sun and breeze
. evoking memories by the pond.. ?
. dinner
. got some work done :)

and now i'm here :) haha. well some day huh. i seriously gotta do something about this habit i have of falling asleep. especially in school.. and it's like in all the lessons. have a feeling it's gonna get worse tomorrow.. well, a triple period lit lesson and another triple period english class.. i really won't be surprised =o) hope i don't drool or something. oh man. i'm getting sleepy again.. shall go get more work done before i hit the sack again.. unintentionally! =)

Valentine's day is a ridiculous charade, the ignorant masses are manipulated by the greetings card companies into forking out millions - and for what? for the illusion of being loved.
- adrian mole: the wilderness years

i like the way he uses the word 'illusion' =)




so it was midnight by the time i managed to hail a cab and get home yesterday :) anyway yesterday evening was rather.. eventful i would say :) haha..

anyway, my mum is back.. with a shitload of pretty knick knacks and paraphernalia she got for me from sydney =o) wheeeeeee. well, i just returned home from cell and dinner at parkway.. was once again thinking through many things and issues as i walked back home from the bus stop. what is a girl to do?





I opened my eyes
And found myself alone, alone
Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only boy I loved
And drowned him deep inside of me

well, so much for a week and a half of parent-less bliss. tomorrow marks the continuation of my normal, routine life :( i am pleased with what i've done with my past week though :) it's been nothing but eventful, and although i'm feeling like a lazy piece of shit for not doing any work at all, i feel good that i had my one and a half week's worth of parent-less fun =o) the fun's not all over yet, still got tomorrow to throw myself a last bash :) it's gonna be another one of those out from 6 am to 2 am days =)

friday
. school
. head back to auntie's place, get things packed up
. head back home, clear up the mess i've been making in my house
. cook dinner for parents? still deciding. =)
. head down to NUS to meet the girls for a sale preview and business meeting
. hmmmmmmmmmm.. :)




inertia




had fun with you :)





i dropped by to update last night but my dad chased me off =x so i'm sneaking on for a bit now for a quick update before i leave for school. here's what i can remember okay =) lol.. well we didn't watch a movie in the end and besty and i went to town to hit the shops :) yesterday's target - ZARA. was unsuccessful though :( couldn't find anything outstanding, and in the end besty and i were getting soo desperate and stressed cause we didn't buy anything :) haha.. well i bought a top in the end.. from clothes publisher, paragon :) besty didn't though, but i hope that something something made her happy :) lol xD in the end, we jsut bummed around and talked about the things that were bothering us (a typical sunday routine), and we ended up feeling really depressed and we didn't wanna go home =o) lol (second typical sunday routine).. but i'm glad i have her to talk to :) lol after all the bad shopping, out legs and feet were aching like crazy.. and we spent $9 on neoprints each. the first shots were crap but the second machine we used was nice! :) haha it was a nice day to end a craaaaazy day of 'shopping' with besty :) well, can't really remember what i wanted to blog about last night. so this will have to do yah? :)
***********************************************************************************





saw tonnes of nice things at orchard on the way to my auntie's place today xD unfortunately i found myself very much tortured having to watch other money-loaded customers trawling around the shops, crossing my fingers and hoping that none of them would pick up my wonderful pieces-of-clothing-to-be, try them on and decide to buy them :( turns out, my luck's been good so far :)

so i spent most of today on the bus and walking around aimlessly.. and as usual random thoughts came to mind like falling rain. one thought, however, stayed with me throughout the day and got me all melancholic and nostalgic, somewhat.. a couple of months back i was watching the film, ' a lot like love ' during my flight to hong kong. with snoring family members on both sides of me, and a heavy heart, i just hoped the movie would offer me some entertainment to take my mind off the things that were getting me bogged down. the storyline - a guy and a girl whose paths happen to cross at various points in their lives, usually the bad times. the movie did a fantastic job in showing how all the little seemingly insignificant things they did together during those times meant more to them than they knew. before they knew it, both of them were facing a dead end in their lives, and with no where to go, no one to turn to and not the slightest clue of what to do.. the 'small' insignificant things they did together.. now meant the most to them. with both parties seeking the answers to their feelings and bad timing getting in the way of their reunification as friends, the two eventually learned.. that what they had was all they ever wanted. did they lose it? well you'll be happy to know there was a happy ending :) never happens that way in real life, though.

you were everything, everything that i wanted
we were meant to be, supposed to be
but we lost it.

are you right in front of me?




To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to be sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one - not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safely in the casket or the coffin of your selfishness. But, in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, unredeemable. The only place outside heaven where you can be safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love, is hell.
- The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis

**********************************************************************************

I carry your heart with me
I am never without it
Anywhere I go you go, my dear;
And whatever is done by only me,
is your doing, my darling

I fear no fate
For you are my fate, my sweet
I want
No world
For beautiful you are my world, my true
And it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
And whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
Here is the root of the root
And the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
Which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide
And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart.

I carry your heart
I carry it in my heart.




valentine's day was nice =) gonna talk on the phone now. be back soon. :)

i'm back :) haha firstly, thanks to all the sweet peeps who got me valentine's day gifts! :) i absolutely adore them. anyway.. my mum is with my sister in sydney, so i'm over at my aunt's place to stay for a couple of days.. will be going home to stay on some days :) well, the house is gorgeous. it's like a japanese palace or something. i feel like mulan, and i've got this bedroom all to myself, complete with traditional japanese furnishing! wow =)
well the past week's been nothing but tiring in all ways.. was a real stone during the weekend but i guess i've somewhat recovered from it.. am gonna have a great week :) mainly because family's gone. whooohoooo :)

anyway, i had fun with you today :) thanks for all the silly conversations and stuff.. lol it's been great. and thanks again for the rose that cost you ALOT. hahaha i will keep it ok even though it's already dying.. lol =)
so yah. i don't really feel like blogging for long now. just decided to pop by for awhile. since i'm at my auntie's house, i shall get the most out of this japanese bungalow experience. hahaha the garden is heaven :) cheers!




am officially chilled out now xD the poolside.. cool water.. a blue sky.. the sun and a pack of yoghurt. they work wonders for a tired body, mind and soul =)




so yeah.. just woke up and i'm still getting the effects of no proper sleep for almost a week :) lol.. well, got up early today and started getting ready for church, but i puked and stuff so i knew i had to get back into bed :) at least my sister's 21st birthday present has been completed x) and she's absolutely pleased with it :) later tonight i'll be attending corrine may's concert at NUS =) time for my long awaited dose of soothing ballads! :)) yayy.
i tried to blog a couple of times yesterday and the day before, but as usual, ended up not blogging so as to appease my mother. now i can't remember what i wanted to blog about. haha it's like i've just woken up from some deep sleep that lasted a month and i am totally disconnected with the world and what is happening. well, that's how tired i am =) was practically stoned at cell yesterday, lol yeah it was terrible =x after that, i dropped by parkway to pick up some things.. then i spent nearly 40 minutes waiting for bus 14 with ___ =) haha.
anyway.this week is gonna be a blast, because my family departs from singapore tomorrow!!! =o) i know it may sound kinda mean, me wanting them gone but everyone's been so uptight and stressed around each other lately.. i seriously think the distance is gonna do us good :) so yah. anyway now that i'm awake i should really get cracking with some stuff i have to get done. will come by soon i guess. forgive my unintended incoherence throughout this entry =) it's not everyday that i wake up feeling like i'm hung over. well, guess today's special huh? whatever :)





my stove is making all sorts of ominous noises, as though threatening to explode. i dont wanna die cooking dinnerrrrrrrrrrr :(






yesterday
so yeah, nick came over and all :) was too stoned to even do anything much, but it was pretty fun.. considering i had entirely no sleep the night before :) haha before he came i decided to head down to the pool side for some chill out time :) the weather was perfect, and i spent twenty blissful minutes getting in and out of the outdoor jacuzzi and just de-stressing =) i need to do it more.. basically yesterday was a sucky day.. because of a particular low down human being. i'm not really bothered to give any details. a bloody waste of my time :) anyway last night was terrible. fought with my mum badly. she was slamming all the doors and banging the pots and pans and all.. guess it's just another tough period for me.. one out of a gazillion others. oh well life goes on. at least nick was sweet and kinda consoled me over the phone and stuff. been a long time since anyone's done that for me.. sincerely.

today
after school, i had an impromptu outing with bowen :) haha.. well we just ate and walked around aimlessly as usual x) saw quite alot of nice things at parkway, am making a mental note to go back for them when i get my cash xD bought a pair of plain but pretty japanese slippers today :) am going to whip up a meal for my family in a bit. as usual, it's pasta aglio olio with tonnes of bacon xD lol i'm quite hungry.. so i think i'll get started now yah? :) shall ask amelia and eneida if they want to be my arab street shopping companions for tomorrow :)





i have decided to keep a full journal, in the hope that my life will perhaps seem more interesting when it is written down. Its certainly is not interesting to actually live my life. It is tedious beyond belief. - Adrian Mole : The wilderness years


just got home after a day's worth of running about doing things :) here's a quick acoount. school was boring as usual.. although today seemed like our unlucky day or something. got reprimanded by the same teacher two times today. shall say no more :) tsk. well i was really glad to get out of school.. today was pretty blah.
haha as for my bus ride to ikea, it was immensely entertaining =) coincidentally, i was taking the same bus as naomi and we were laughing and laughing like fools over nonsensical and random things =o) argh. my mum and sister are at it again. they are seriously driving me up the wall with their heated discussions on finances. i swear my mind is going to burst one of these days. sure feels like it anyway..
well back to my bus ride :) haha i alighted at ikea.. and walked around for a bit and finally found something =) after awhile nic came and we spent the whole afternoon walking around and chilling and scouting for sports stuff at queensway =) it was fantastically productive, i have to admit :) we found loads of good deals for team shirts and stuff. neat xD we'll probably have to go back.. sometime soon :) he was being a funny bum, as usual.. heh. anyway.. i had to go meet my sister after that so i kinda left him with no choice but to go home :( sorry.
so that was my day, for you :) ahh.. shall go bathe soon. will have to forgo my sleep tonight.. i've got way too much work to complete.. not to mention other personal things i have to get done. well i guess i'll come home early tomorrow and nap or maybe jsut rest for a bit =) not sure if nic is coming over tomorrow. ah, i'll face tomorrow when it comes. until then, got loads to do :) gotta run.

cheers :)




argh. today's been one tiring day.. and it all ends with this terrible feeling in my stomach i'm having now :( owing to the bits and pieces of improper food (as my mum would say) that i had throughout the day. oh well. am going to talk on the phone later, probably. then i'll finally get some sleep.. badly in need of it =)

try: petit miam kids yoghurt, vanilla xD good stuff!


anyway, one thing that really added some humour to my long, dull and tiring day was this wonderfully hilarious book, probably a familiar title.. adrian mole: the wilderness years. a great book to read when you're in a i-don't-feel-like-reading-anything-that-requires-thinking-and-a-proper-state-of-mind mood :)) a particular quote from the book caught my attention and has quite a bit of good meaning =)

what's gone and past help should be past grief. - william shakespeare




this one's gotta be quick :) or else, mum will find me blogging and nag till kingdom come, probably.

saturday:
after netball, i went downtown to meet the girls at city hall :) shopped around the supermarket for our dinner while waiting for elain.. and boy, did that involve loads of indecisiveness :) lol.. so we finally got our food.. pasta and carbonara sauce with bacon xD and met elaine for lunch! at thai express =) cabbed back to my place.. where we made a mess outta my room while making jewellery. daphne came by later after her work :) haha basically we jsut had fun together andmade stuff. and we had our firt product photoshoot :) coolness. will put the pictures up soon xD

today:
firstly i would like to thank someone who unknowingly ended up paying 51 dollars for a pink rose.. for me :) really appreciate it.. thanks for the thought :) lol, some expensive rose huh. anyway had my first carl's junior burger. it was really just half a burger. split it with besty cause we weren't really that hungry :) good stuff.. will definitely go back for more xD so yeah.. we just bummed around the whole day.. i bought a bag =) i was hesitant at first.. but i realised i didn't have a bag like that so i got it in the end :)

anyway mum's nagging already. absolutely hate it. ah well will continue sometime else i guess :) my life is a mess.

- out! -




just got back awhile ago :)
anyways.. my original plans for today got completely inverted.

original plan:
. shopping at arab street
. business meeting
. prayer and praise

as it turned out, my day became..
. chilling in town with amelia, amet, eneida.. xD (which involved walking from orchard delfi to far east to lido to heeren then to wisma and wheelock) hahaha
. crazy neoprint taking.. i'm never using that machine again.
. following amelia to wisma :) i want my shoes!
. more chilling at wheelock with amet and bowen :)
. making my way down to church.. ( when i realised all the roads had been blocked off for chingay )
. was ordered by mum to meet sister for dinner
. walked down the noisy orchard road ( all the way to city hall )
. took a bus back! :)

i am itchy and in need of a nice hot bath :) will probably get very little sleep tonight.. got tonnes of work to do. gotta wake up early tomorrow for netball too :) afterwhich, i will rush down to town to pick up the girls and bring them to my place for our first product making session =) mental note: buy back nice food :)

after my caffeine boost at starbucks earlier on.. i'm feeling slightly less like a zombie :) was utterly dazed in school today after two consecutive nights of late night - early morning conversations. seriously should catch up on some decent sleep. well, after all that work is done :) target for tonight : at least 3 pairs of completed earrings.

over and out! :)

cheers.




am trying to kill time while waiting for my sister to stop loafing about the house and go downstairs with me =) anyway. stupid shops in town were all closed. grrrrrr..! =)

' men come and go, but there will always be shoes.. ' - marian keyes, under the duvet.




didn't collect much red packet money today, but somehow it's still the best CNY i've ever had.. in a long time at least =) it's just that.. i've been so busy and stressed and caught up with other things for so long.. and though i've been kind of missing in action the past week, i've done so much thinking.. and i've realised so much. =)
anyway, here's the stuff. =) reunion dinner was a small, relaxed affair. it was nice to just hang around the dinner table having fabulous food cooked by my grandma.. and talk about nothing in particular =o) i felt less detached from my family for once.. and it took me by surprise, in a good way of course :) it's all hard to explain. but it's what i feel. basically, this time round i was not so caught up with all the other things or people in my life, and just spending time with them just felt.. fantastic. i actually left my phone at home. =)
visitation was like every other year, putting on a smile and recieving remarks and compliments from relatives =) haha it was quick today, though.. =) but all the food was great.. and after coming home, my sister and i spent the better half of the day in front of my tv watching dvds and stuff. =) i just finished one, actually. felt like coming out here to blog for a bit.
over the past few days ive realised how much i miss being a kid. theres just been too many issues that have got me bogged down lately, and sure.. people try to help sometimes.. but i hate it when peple dont know the shit im going through.. and just tell me to get a grip over my life and stuff.. i hate it. just been sick of so many things lately. it's scary. how screwed up it all can get. i miss my childhood. i was really a happy child.. now a sad 16 year old, soon turning 17, but still not having a clue about what the hell is happening in my life sometimes. thats life huh =) well, i guess thats the way it is. but ive thought some things over, realised certain things.. and i guess im starting to learn how to make everything right again =) ive screwed up so much over the past 4 years. when will all the screwing up end. when will i start living?




2 days away to CNY =) a.k.a pig-out-like-nobody's-business time xD hope i'm well enough by saturday so i can start muching away! =o) anyway, the past week has been pretty eventful =) first thing to get excited about, our stall space for the NUS arts festival has been booked!!! =) so.. we should be getting all the materials by next week latest. cool thing is, we are going to have a website =) so people can order online and stuff. it's alot of work, but it's fun :)) lol. anyway. hope this generates some income for me. i am in a dire state, financially. and its NOT because of shopping, really =) i haven't bought anything.. besides my CNY clothes.. and they're really nothing much. well, gotta draw up a savings plan :) hopefully this whole business venture succeeds. =)
tomorrow, 26th january. my sister's 21st =) before having dinner with her and my mum at tony roma's, i'll be having my feet and hands nicely done at the manicurist's with amelia, eneida and wai sum =) a rare indulgence =) oh! i changed my blogskin :) like it?? =) it's so frenchy xD
anyway, just dropped by to fill this empty space (which is now filled with words) =) hahaha. i am not making sense. as usual. =) well, till the next one!




busy busy busy busy busy!! =) well, that's pretty much my life right now.. but i must say, i am proud of myself for becoming very productive lol =o) am quite exhausted though.. been running around all over the place just doing things.. but it's been fun =) haha on tuesday, i twisted my ankle during pe.. and it was swollen by the time i got home, so auntie carol, uncle danny and mum took me to this chinese physician.. and he started twisting my leg around haha it was really painful and now it's bandaged up =( couldn't go to school for two days cuz it was too hard to walk. i am returning to school tomorrow! yay =) haha anyway.. gotta remind me to mark my calendar. 12 feb - corrine may concert with classmates =)) we'll probably have an outing before that. wheee =-)
today, i dropped by daphne's office to collect the jewellery samples. i am so excited about the sale =) i am going down to NUS tomorrow to book us a space, and also check the place out. whoa. my weekend is gonna be really crazy as always. =) i've got a new thing to look forward to during weekends.. netball =)) darn.. hope my leg will be okay by saturday.. i wanna play netball!!!! =o)
anyways. i was watching discovery travel and living at star world for the better part of today =) most of the good stuff on cable only shows when i'm at school =/ but yeah.. cable is niiiice =o) watched tuesdays with morrie.. medical investigation.. judging amy.. and great hotels =o) man it made me feel like packing a suitcase and leaving for new york right away.. lol =)
oh! before i forget.. important stuff to do...
1. buy sister's 21st birthday gift
2. settle accounts for the NUS sale
3. make a trip down to people's park and arab street to get the materials
4. make a trip down to ikea
5. CNY SHOPPING ( urgeeeeent!!!! )

hmmmm =) i'm having a mental block now.. lol. well, i'm tired and sleepy and i wanna go home.. and watch cable till i fall asleep =) lol.. am at my auntie's place all the way at bukit timah now.. will be a long trip home.. =/ wish a holiady would come soon.. i need one. badly. i always do, lol =) anyway i am really tired, so i'll wrap up.. maybe with a nice quote eh? =)

' when you know how to die, you know how to live.. ' - tuesdays with morrie




hey all =) two weeks of sec 4 life have started to take their toll on me. lol =-) with work piling up and so much to do, i am really busy but i kinda like it =) keeps my mind off certain things.. but i'm really tired though. when i came home, i decided to chill out and read deception point =-) fell asleep and wokp up at 8!! i was mildly horrified. hahaha =o) got up to cook dinner for my mum.. my new hot favourite.. aglio pasta =-) it's really besty's favourite also ( i think ) hahaha =) my mum absolutely adored it. she wants another roung tomorrow. hahaha :)) i am flattered.
anyway, all that aside, exciting news!! =) daphne and i will be selling things at the NUS arts and lifestyle fair =) is that cool or what? we will be there for the first two weeks of march (weekends ) which reminds me, we gotta start thinking of designs, meeting up, and making products like crazy =o) shall invite daphne over to my place :) i just realised that in my 6 years of knowing her, she's never been to my place! lol! :)) that will change. anywayy.. i am taking b syllabus chinese now =o)
it may seem like i'm slicing it a little too thin, but i think it really saves me time.. because i know i'm not going to pass o level chinese ( with the new curriculum ) so anyway, clb is really fun man. =) had my first clb lesson today. you should see the worksheet man. it's like.. primary 4 chinese? =) yayy.
anyway.. i recieved some pretty devastating news on tuesday.. i guess i'll just have to live with it.. although it's really hard and all i seem to be able to do is ask myself how things got this way. as painful as it is, i will do my best to not let it get to me. i'm not here to live for myself. 2006. touch 50. save 5.
that's all i have right now =) tonnes of work to be done..

" i feel like a little girl trying to conquer the whole wide world. everybody wants a piece of me, and i just don't know where to turn.. i've got work piled up to my head, and all i wanna do is jump into bed and wash away my troubles.. "
- corrine may, little superhero girl.

save me from myself.




hey ya :) it's me, and i've survived one week of school! lol.. well, this first week of school has been pretty alright =) i'm just looking forward to getting out of this crappy school system. was down today though.. cause my chinese teacher kicked up a fuss about wanting me to go to the CLB class. shucks. i know i can pass normal chinese if i work hard, but she just won't believe me =( and she called my mum (apparently, but i haven't had a chance to speak to mum yet) sigh. i'm gonna get it from mum. me and my lousy command of chinese. i know for a fact that my teacher will make it hell for me this year if i stay in the normal chinese class.. i am still seriously considering and weighing both options.. to go, or not to go...
anyway =) today was fun! after school, went to tim ctr for tuition with daniel =) but i had quite some time before that, so i just bummed around with besty in church.. oh and got bubble tea and stuff. i ended up bringing besty home for dinner after her work :)) hahaha.. this should be our friday night routine man. we had a nice time of trashing things out. it was nice to just talk about things that were bothering us in a very straightforward and blunt manner. =) hmmmm. maybe we'll buy things over to my place to cook next friday =)
tomorrow.. marks the first saturday in a long long time when i can sleep in :)) well, kinda. at least there will be no alarm setting. i will only be setting out for IKEA around lunchtime.. =) so that should give me some time to chill.. and start doing some work and self study already! my school is the darndest strictest school i've ever come across. it's a good bad thing =) maybe go to the gym in the morning? :)) see how it goes. that's if i still have the mood to go, probably after i get slaughtered by mum for my pathetic chinese. i don't understand why my teacher is making such a fuss over this. anyway, i've made up my mind. with or without normal chinese.. i am going to study hard and ace the o levels. it has been said.. life is not about the cards we possess, but how we play our cards. =) well, if my teacher forces me to drop normal chinese and go to the clb class, i've got my 6 subjects. i won't screw up. not anymore.
i'm loving the meg cabot princess diary my sister got me =)) well, am tired. time to retire to my room.. and do some pondering and some productive things. like make more earrings? =) or read my book. sounds like a plan. =) till the next one. goodnight all. =)




firstly, i'd like to wish everyone a blessed 2006! =)) i can't believe how quickly time flies. it is really scary.. and once again i feel like a year has gone by, wasted. there are many things i should not have done that i did.. and many things that i should have done, but did not do. looking on the bright side, i learn from all my mistakes =) but i'll have to make a conscious effort not to repeat the same mistakes again. one thing i don't like about december is that it's always jamm-packed with activities and hectic daily schedules. although i have to admit, it gets reeeaaalllly fun =) but i realise that the last month of the year just passes by, leaving us with no time to reflect, and remember the true reason for the festive season. haha that kinda rhymes =)
anyway since i have been neglecting this blog due to festive frenzy and fatigue, i shall do a proper update. =)) the holidays have been simply fantastic.. for one, i got to spend alot of time with besty as she is done with her o levels!! =o) i realised how much i missed just hanging out and being silly. =op crossover camp was awesome!=) it was a really powerful time for all who were there, and the holy spirit really manifested itself during all the sessions.. =) and it was reeeally encouraging to see everyone stepping up to serve as leaders, and in the music ministry =)) oh i led worship for the first time. =) lol.. was pretty jittery about it at first, but God was faithful and saw me through it. i feel it is such a priviledge to be able to lead worship =) i am really excited to see what God is going to do this year. the one thing i want to see is everyone just stepping up and out of their comfort zones in every area of their lives, and letting God do his work through us, for his glory. =)
Christmas shopping was fun!! =) went shopping many times with different people, and although i was quite inefficient (sometimes =p) in buying gifts, it was fun to just hang out with friends and enjoy the cheery atmosphere of Christmas =)) my first Christmas shopping trip was with besty, and i remember it was an absolute success! =) we bought sooo much on that day and everything seemed to be on the way. =) haha. we spent so much at marina and got two tries for this lucky dip thing. haha we were really disappointed to get the silly barbie doll wrapping paper =( lol..
i also discovered a really cool place to get stuff =) beach road market has loads of funky things!! and theres this shop with pretty bags and clutches and teeshirts and things of all sorts :)) haha i went there with besty and wendy =-) and i just couldnt get enough of that shop.. so i went back like 3 times.. haha =op twice with derong! =o) haha he saw this tin tin bag he really liked, so in the end we shared to get it for him =-) haha it was fun hanging with him at beach road. =o)
and i stayed over at jean's house!! =o) wendy and serene came over to my house once also, to watch vcds =op besty came another time and we cooked fabulous BACON LOADED aglio olio pasta =Pp mmmmm... :)) im making myself hungry.
oh man.. theres just so much to blog about.. lol =-) reminds me of that song.. so little time so much to do. =o) something like that. lol.. anyway i am really please with all the presents i recieved this year =)) most of them were pink!! :)) lol. i feel like listing them all down. =op ok i shall try to remember everything i got..
sister - " meg cabot princess diaries " a 2006 diary! =) how cool is that?
besty - cookies letter sets =)) a purple rubber band and a pretty heart shaped sequined purse!!! i love it to bits!! =o)
jonE - a pink vanilla scented candle set from lim's arts and living =)) something i would have never indulged in on my own!! :)
nick and michelle - famous amos cookies, a roxy wallet and a pretty denim roxy cap with glitter!!! =o) ahhhh.. and it all came in a pretty pink paper bag :)) its got fluff on it =p
crystal - pink cushion!! =o) it accompanies me to sleep now along with my collection of cushions.
wendy - lip ice!! :) hoop earrings and a pretty pretty purple pen with a butterfly on it =op purple is the new pink!
the girls and leon - a pink lucy mimi " knick knack bag " i love it! =o) its so cute..
mel - a pink egg! =o) it's really a rock.. lol
adele - a test tube filled with glittery goo =-) with my name in it!
daniel.v - pink earrings!! =o) they're really me!
charis - a pink photo frame.. she painted it herself!! =)

haha there were tonnes more, but im kinda tired. so i shall just stop here. =) lol.. gonna meet my auntie for tea tomorrow, and serene koh for lunch! =) wheeeeeeee. oh i watched the family stone today. it was alright.. but i really didn't like the way the guy was so fickle minded. =( and i tried venezia gelato today. its really nice!! =)) and affordable.. belggium chocolate is yummy. =) hmmm.. cant believe school starts tomorrow. im really going to miss the holidays.. =( there are many things in my life that arent really settled, but ill live one day at a time =) more than anything else, i feel excited for what the future has in store. =o)

it's gonna be alright!
cause i know my God saved the day
and i know his word never fails
and i know my God made a way for me
salvation is here.




too many things are happening in my life now, it's all kind of a huge blur. thankfully this will get better next week, as i have resigned from my job, and as of this saturday, will be officially unemployed! =o) yayy. haha people must think i'm some kind of wierd psycho. who celebrates being unemployed? hmmm =) anyway, the past weekend was rather eventful. shall fill you in on some random things that happened =)

[friday] met daphne, elaine and charmaine on friday! =) my fellow mg pals, was really nice seeing them and just chilling. had lunch at sushi tei and watched harry potter =) it was a third time for me. hahaha. after the movie, i was horrified to find that i was left with 10 minutes to get to my workplace from cineleisure.. and my about-to-burst bladder made the situation tonnes worse. felt like a prize idiot running like a maniac down orchard road in a a SKIRT and feminine flat shoes =) hahaha. a typical unglam event in the life of beverly. am used to it =)

speaking of unglam events. i'm starting to think that my blythe bag really is evil =( it coloured my jeans during cell group =( haha i was sitting down, holding the bag in my lap, and i have no idea how.. but the cap on my marker pen just came out somehow.. and left me with two large, embarassing blotches of pink ink on my mango jeans =( i must have looked terribly odd. sigh.. =) oh well.

by the way i am learning drum basics :) i figured it would serve as an outlet for all my built-up frustrations from all these unfortunate events that occur so naturally in my life. =) haha.. hmm. =o) i have a wee bit of a sorethroat now, thanks to my over enthusiasm in playing table soccer. is it even called table soccer? =) haha i dunno. must go check out the treal name for it. oh and i sprained my wrist while playing too =( =)

stop laughing at me =( haha maybe i should title my blog " a series of unfortunate events ".. =o) haha. tomorrow, i hit the shops with besty!!! yayyy =o) thanks for spending 5 minutes of your precious time reading this rubbish =op would love to stay up all night filling you in on all the sad details of my disaster-filled life, but i am, unfortuantely, forced to retire due to work-induced fatigue. =) till the next calamity.




the lazy author of this blog has once again returned from a long period of silence. =) tonnes has happened since my last decent entry.. for starters, i'm single. and also, i got a job at Dome =) , but am quitting this week.. hahaha =) sister is back from sydney and back to giving me the usual dose of her irritating quirks. =) oh well. with only four weeks left to christmas, we decided to bring the Christmas tree up today after much of a squabble =) but it's really late, and my bed beckons. hopefully, i'll wake up early tomorrow to do up the tree =) ..

anyway, i guess i have mixed feelings about my being single again. for one, i really enjoy having more time for other important things, like family and friends.. things like that which i kinda neglected while i was attached. it's goooood having quality time with my favourite people again =) have been spending more time with my family, and went out with besty yesterday!! =o) her o levels are finally over. so, after the angel practice went over to parkway and just walked around, talked and talked more =) it wasn't anything spectacular, but it really meant alot. it's amazing what 2 hours of quality time and laughter with a good/best friend can do =) haha of course, we had our share of mishaps.. including our unsuccesful attempt to open a box of shimmering powder. =o)

so being single again has been a nice change in a few ways =) but of course.. there are just times when i simply don't understand how something so.. perfect just self-destructed, and slipped away. just like that. i guess that's life in this world. nothing lasts forever. the sparkle of the Christmas season is not doing much to help. Creates an atmosphere of nostalgia, really. and while i'm certainly having loads of fun, it's actually when i'm happy.. that i miss him the most.




Do you remember me
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you with childhood fantasies

Well I'm all grown up now
Can you still help somehow
I'm not a child but my heart still can dream

So here's my lifelong wish
My grown up Christmas list
Not for myself but for a world in need

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Every man would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown up Christmas list

As children we believe
The grandest sight to see
Was something lovely wrapped beneath the tree
But Heaven only knows
That packages and bows
Can never heal a heartached human soul

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Every man would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown up Christmas list

What is this illusion called the innocence of youth
Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Every man would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown up Christmas list
This is my only lifelong wish
This is my grown up Christmas list




this blog is dying a natural death.




' proclaim your awesome power
tell of mighty deeds
declare your future kingdom
of everlasting peace
and my eyes they look
unto you always!
and i am captured
by your majesty..
all of my days i will sing of your greatness
all of my days i will speak of your grace
all of my days i will tell
of your wondrous love,
your love in my life..
your love.'
- "all of my days" hillsong

this is gonna be a loooong entry. =)


it's been a fantabulous weekend! =o)
in chronological order, i would like to thank these angels =) :
. rachel, for lending me your teddy on saturday morning =) you didn't have to. thanks so much girl. study hard! and don't let those buggers get you down okay =) you deserve way better. =)
. brian, for taking me to botanical =) and laughing while i got chased by a goose.. LOL =o)
. the girls (serene and mel), for being so thoughtful and buying me a birthday cake and surprising me at cell! =) it means alot, and i really appreciate it. =o)
. the cell members =), for chipping in to pay for the cake! :)
. besty(serene), for the wonderful gift. =) i will treasure it for life. i love ya loads girl!!! =) thank you sooo much! *hug*
. mel and adele =), for the non-pink addition to my necklace collection. loved it! =) haha and thank you for the notes you guys wrote to me. =) thanks girls!! *hug* =)
. leona, for getting me the M & Ms =) was really sweet! i appreciate it, really. =)
. of course, JonE =)), for the marvelous cake!! thank you for taking the time to bake it for me. it really means alot.. and the pink icing.. =) and the smiley face with the tiara on the cake :)) i absolutely loved it! thank you sooooooo much.. =)
. mel =), for tolerating my hyperness at your house and parkway today =o) i was being totally retarded, haha but hey thanks for just being there to laugh at me =) miss hanging out with you girls. well, hopefully sometime soon again yeah? :)) love ya gal. =)


God has been amazing. =) such peace, such joy. only he can give. =) he is my sheild, my strength, portion, deliverer, shelter, strong tower.. my very present help in time of need. God, you are more than enough for me.


in the midst of all the emotional upheaval i have really found refuge and strength in our wonderful God =) there are many things i still do not understand at all. the answers will come in time. until then, i will not persue them. one thing i know though.. from the bottom of my heart, is that i truly love you.. still. i always will.




'Its a crazy world where everythin's changin'
One minute you're up and the next thing you're breakin'
When I lose my way and the skies they get heavy
It'll be okay the moment you're with me
No one would have guessed we'd be standing strong today
Solid as a rock and perfect in every way
We are two in a million
We've got all the luck we could be given
If the world should stop
We'll still have each other
And no matter what
We'll be forever as one'

- sclub 7, two in a million


we were two in a million.





the past few days have been entirely amazing.. that's all i can manage right now =)


the wheels are in motion


'the answer will come. hold on to patience and watch for the signs, everything in its time.'




ouch




i am in surprisingly high spirits =)
haha well, just finished with the packing and i thought id drop by to post a little something before i leave for hong kong =o) yayy!!! lol :) well, i will certainly miss you guys :)) please take care and have a nice holiday ok =-) haha.. although i know it's not really much of a break for most of you, but at least enjoy the fact that you don't have to wake up as early as normal school days right? :)) well, i hope you guys have fun anyhow. will buy you guys little goodies from shopping paradise =-) *bev goes into a trance* =o) BESTY should be there shopping with me!! we will totally paint the town red =D heh. maybe next time :))





am back after a long day :)) school was a real daze, rach and i were utterly HYPER during the first three periods.. aka useless english periods =o) lol.. we were laughing and talking about the most random things. =-) oooh, rach replied my letter =D i love letters!! oh yay :)) haha anyway.. things started to go downhill after recess i guess.. CHINESE, then assembly which seemed really long for some reason =/ by the time assembly ended, even i was sian and my mind was quite blank.. =op heh.. THEN came the progress reports. =/ well, funny thing is.. the subjects i failed last term, i passed this time round :)) but i failed 2 of the subjects i passed last term. =/ wierd. progress reports are mean things. oh well :))

anyway, i went to bugis with amelia after school :)) i was quitetired.. so i was kinda quiet =/ but we took really funny neoprints.. =-) hahaha.. there's a BIKINI BOTTOM one :)) LOL. that machine at bugis is not bad la. amelia suggested we take that one because it had a FAN that makes her feel like a supermodel =op LOL. =))

went for tuition after that.. and i am now home and quite tired.. haha. well, i'm glad that my blog entry has some sense of ORDER today =-) maybe because i'm alone at home and pretty calm. LOL =o) random.

i am going nuts over jim brickman's cd 'picture this'. :))) hmmmm shall go ask brian for the simple things cd =D that has got to be the ultimate. =D lol.. i was actually so soothed by his piano playing that i was inspired to take up piano. hmmm.. should i? :)) i dunno, will think about it. anyway i've been thinking of taking up something as a hobby =) so i guess it will be one of the considerations. but swimming still appeals to me =p i miss swimming alot..

wheeee!=o) it's 2 days more to hong kong!! :)) am really excited. yet, i know i won't go there totally at peace, some things are still very unsettled. but i guess that's the way things are :)) i will go and have a ball of a time, anyway. =-) i just hope things will be okay.. i can't express it.














happy birthday mum!! :))


just came home from a fantabulous buffet at shang =) i ate soooooo much the food was just soooo good!! =o) haha i gotta get out of this dress and go to sleep soon :)) it's so fun to dress up and go places =] hhaha.. i love my satin shoes loads =) anyway, i shall go sleep now la. am really tired =op will update soon. hahaha i am loving my new blogskin. =p hehe =) till the next entry!






i like my new blogskin! =))))


today was pretty eventful for a monday (: i shall get back at amelia for tying me to the chair during f & n, and by doing so triggering off one of my infamous laughing fits (: haha, well i wasn't laughing that badly la.. was trying soo hard to restrain all that laughing gas as a precaution to not get kicked out of class by miss ramlah =)) lol, she almost did in the end =D oh well. the bread and butter pudding and apple fritters were utter calamities. =op as always.. lol. rachel and i ROCK at f & n man.. hahaha =o) *grins at rachel*. i am so flunking chinese test. the whole front page was nearly blank!! ahhh (: i'm soo bored. i need some craft supplies to occupy myself with (: haha.. okay let's see.. ooooh! =) i met daphne in town today =D we didn't have much time, but we managed to do some quick shopping and we caught up over a light dinner at cine =p the annoying manager of the restaurant (the restaurant staff gave such a bad impression that i can't even remember the name of the restaurant) kept making a fuss about the silly buffet thing. oh well.. lol (: he must have thought we were young girls to be bullied or something. (: as for the weekend, it was alright. happy happy carnival was okay =) my nose is burned though.. haha why do i get burned so easily?? (: well at least this time it's not as bad as the last time... lol =o) well, tomorrow is my mum's birthday. and we will be having dinner at shangri la!! =o) it's been ages since i've last had the buffet there.. oh yummm (: anticipation!! (:




there is no reason to run from the one who can free you
=)




who imagined the sun and gives source to its light?
yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night?
none can fathom.
it's all in his hands.. =)

my thoughts are too jumbled to come up with a comprehensive blog entry.


strawberries and cream. late night babbling. the familiar sound of a playing guitar. the very first letter. eht yrev tsrif ssik. the unlikely reunion. kung fu hustle. when you say nothing at all. imagine us here in eight years time. kong bak pau. don't ever let me go. i will never let you go. the three bears. a tissue paper ring. a daisy on the moon..

i just hope everything will be okay
anyway. time to go and read the da vinci code.. =) am almost done with it.. =)




" i have decided to keep a full journal, in the hope that my life will perhaps seem more interesting when it is written down. Its is certainly not interesting to actually live my life. It is tedious beyond belief. "
- Sue Townsend's Adrian Mole:The wilderness years

luckily, i don't have that to say about my life.. =)




hello peeps! =) i'm in a terribly good mood =o) well, for one i'm proud of myself for completing all the homework for today. hahah.. am i or am i not pathetic? =) i know it's not really any major achievement at all, but for a major dreamer like me.. when homework gets done, pigs fly. =)

DO NOT FORGET TO CATCH THE SPECTACULAR VIEW OF FLYING PIGS THIS EVENING. THE PREVIOUSLY FLIGHT-DISABLED CREATURES WILL BE MAKING THEIR ROUNDS AT HALF AN HOUR INTERVALS, JUST OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW. DO NOT MISS. =o)

=) haha anyway school has been mentally draining lately. i was knocked out yesterday night man! slept at 9 =/ was just sooo tired. it's not good being mentally drained and all.. i figured it makes people more irritable and sensitive and i guess, i experienced it first hand on sunday. oh well =) will try to do something about it. maybe wake up later in the mornings =) and sleep a little earlier i guess. =)
haha chem test was an utter calamity. shall not elaborate =) but things got alot more fun after the chem test! haha.. amelia wanted me to go draw money for her .. so rach and i floowed her to coronation out of the kindness of our hearts, purely =o) LOL. and we made her buy us mochi. and CHIPS =o) haha and amelia bought me sushi.. hahahahaha =o) i feel evil man. we were ultimate retards, to put it simply. just crapping 100% of the way.. =) haha wish i could stay.. but what i really need to do is go chill in my room now. hopefully i won't fall asleep again. OH NOO =o) *winks at rachel* muahahahahaha...

REMINDER: LOOK OUT YOUR WINDOW TO BEHOLD THE FLYING PIGS!!! =o)









met up with daphne, elaine and charmaine after school today =o) we met at this place called " the tea party " near sixth avenue.. the apple crumble was fantastic!! =) haha.. well, it was pretty quiet there today.. but they had a stunning array of teas on the menu. i won't mind visiting sometime soon =p hehe.. i'm starting to get pretty fond of tea. =o)
anyway, the four of us were retarded taking photos. =o) it was utter chaos and suakuness if i may say so.. haha!! :)) got some hilarious shots, and some on rach's camera too =) thanks for your camera rach! =) anyway i wore my mgs uniform.. and i guess wearing it made me kinda nostalgic.. it reminded me of the good old days.. when things were far from screwed.. and everyone just got along =) things are getting more complicated by the day. and as time progresses, i guess we all get jaded and kinda cynical about certain things. something i try not to do =) but well, it's all part of growing up. sucks sometimes.










23rd july 2005

pretty pink flowers and paraphernalia. happy faces. delicious food. wonderful company. pictures-a-plenty. my lovely bridesmaid's dress. my beautiful shoes. excellent dinner. romantic walk at east coast with my dear boy, and the wonderful couple.. nic and chelle =)

a fantastic day i will remember for the rest of my life.


michelle's wedding was sweet beyond words =) and thank goodness, i did not fall down in my bridesmaid's gown and high heel shoes. was so happy to see the happy people around during the wedding, especially the families of nic and chelle. =) dear jonny looked stunning in his suit =p and people kept saying that we looked like we were getting married.. =) haha! well, jon took me around to meet all his relatives.. everything felt so official.. lol :)) well, looking at the pictures of jon and i together at michelle's wedding, really made me wonder about our future.
jon came over to my place today. we watched movies =) and we talked about things, and basically everything is so fairytale-ish now.. but still, we have our ups and downs =) i know i've never declared this on my blog, but i couldn't be more thankful/happy to have found jonny. =)
congratulations to nicholas and michelle! =) there is so much to say about the wedding, but i'll just leave them as memories.. =) some of which, luckily, were captured in photos which i will collect tomorrow! =) weddings never fail to make me cry.. and smile =)





i spoke to daphne on the phone today for the first time in ages =) i miss everybody.. especially now when things are getting so hectic, it's just crazy. it scares me to think of what's going to happen when we all go our seperate ways. i guess we're all bound to lose touch with some friends, but the true friends will always stay =)
i wish time would go easier on us.

just a random thought:
if i could have many bridesmaids at my wedding, i know who they'd be =o)

serene besty, daphne, rachel, rachelle

=)
ah, i feel so young and inexperienced.. get so puzzled with life sometimes. oh well =) sorry i'm rambling again...





hello =) sorry i have not been regular. just so busy!! haha anyway, michelle's wedding is in five days time! =) i wonder how it must feel... it must be so overwhelming, stressful... but most of all exciting! =o) lol.. i wonder what it's like to be a bride. i guess someday i'll know. =-) ah, daydreams.. =)
anyway.. school has been ok. teachers are trying to kill us with homework, that i've convinced myself. they've gone mad. maybe it's from seeing too many dots eh =o) haha.. it makes absolute sense. the person who designed the uniform should be counselled, seriously. what in the world was she thinking???
haha anyway, michelle got me a very very nice bridesmaid's dress from daniel yam =) and we got shoes today when we went to alter the dress.. i love the dress and the shoes! being a bridesmaid is so fun =)) lol.. i really must thank her for getting me such nice things. =o)
rachel is convinced she is gonna cook me. =( IN A COULDRON! sigh.. shall start writing out my will now. rachel gets my sheep pencil box =o) i'm such a generous soul.. hahahh =op yeah right.
anyway.. yeah this entry is full of incoherent and random thoughts. but then again, that's what a diary is for right? =) speaking of diaries.. i'm gonna get myself one. one very nice one preferably, with a lock. =) spotted one at bugis =o) i am going mad shopping these days. especially at mango. =op i better get off this topic. it's DANGEROUS. =o) oh boy..
anyway, i guess i can say life is pretty exciting now. am bursting in excitement for saturday! =) it's my first time as a bridesmaid. hope everything goes ok =-)
i wish i could gather my thoughts!! i'm just too excited about everything!! ( michelle's wedding, rachel's birthday, SHOPPING, meeting up with daphne and elaine, meeting up with rachelle...)
i miss everybody!! ah wish i could have more time with my friends. =o) things are jsut sooo hectic lately.. am so tired. oh well =) shall stop here before i start repeating myself.. hahaha =) will be back.. with a less incoherent and random version of this post, hopefully. until then, love!
=)






CONGRATULATIONS TO THE FOLLOWING ARTICLES...
. mango jeans
. second pair of mango jeans
. white "mango and you" top

for making it through endless tries in swarming fitting room areas, and finally ending up in the hands of their new loving owner, who is exceedingly elated upon the purchase of them! =o) together with yesterday's new arrivals, they will be deeply cherished by their owner till wear and tear/ageing/obvious permanent stains do them part.


went mad at MNG today =o) i want more! lol.. i desperately need clothes. anyway i'm meeting my dear jonny tomorrow. will go bathe la =) and pack my bag for tomorrow. we're so bummed.. corrine may tickets have sold out! =((




the clothing and paraphernalia of beverly's wardrobe are rejoicing upon the long awaited arrival of two new comers, a lacey white floral skirt and an apple green halter printed with an adorable parrot =o) they wait in anticipation for more new comers during the next few days, as their owner attempts to do something about her pathetic " wardrobe ", which , judging from the clothes she wears, consists of only a collection of over-worn tshirts and skirts and a pair of jeans.
stay tuned for updates! =)


lol =) enough of that, i am going to flunk chem miserably tomorrow... =( oh well, time to bathe now => will listen to more of corrine may's beautiful ballads. and prepare myself mentally to get screwed tomorrow in school =) yayy




stupid f & n. stupid assignment. stupid teacher. stupid school computers that barely work.
stupid school computer erased all my work. !!! this stupid assignment is a pure waste of precious time. i don't understand how they expect an assignment like this to be completed in bloody 2 and a half hours in school when the " computers " take 5 minutes to save a document, and 8 minutes to load an internet page!! in case they haven't noticed, the computers are dead.. absolutely malfunctional and sadly, are just occupying precious space in the computer room. i say again, this is the ultimate, WORST way to waste time. if not for this madness, i could be resting.. getting a little shut eye after all the late and stressful nights, or watching something educational on discovery channel. or talking to friends whom i've neglected lately due to my lack of free time. or BATHING. or listening to corrine may and just chilling. or TALKING TO MY BOYFRIEND who has been such a dear to me all this time, and whom i love very much. seriously, i wish this dumb assignment could just come alive for a brief moment so i could yell at it to PISS OFF




hey all =) i've been so drained lately... but i am rested enough for a new week ahead, i guess.. lol =o) i can't believe how stoned i was yesterday and today man.. i can safely say that was the worst case of depression/frustration i've had in ages. hmmm, not a good sign. but at least all's okay now.. okay enough that is =) lol.. and i guess even if things weren't alright, i'd still have to carry on anyhow.

anyway, i got a new haircut today with besty =) we went to this salon called klearcuts.. haha =) i got kinda fed up with my stylist cuz he kept cutting my hair halfway and running off to some other customer.. lol :)) but my hair turned out okay anyhow, and i like it =) silly guy cut it a little too short though.. hahaha =) after that, we were walking around aimlessly as always at MANGO and wisma atria =) i need to go to mango!!! before some undeserving customer walks away with the white skirt that is rightfully mine!! =) hmmm.. shall ask beg grovel at mum's feet, and drag her to all the MNG sales there are until the skirt is mine x)

i've got some stuff to do, so i think i'll go now. was just popping by to keep this blog alive =) hahaha...

i miss jonny. =)




stressed, zonked and peeling =(
oh well.. what a long day. time to go chill now. and listen to corrine may =)




1. What is your occupation? student! =) i know being one sucks most of the time, but well at least it's better than working right? hmmm =)
2. What color is your underwear? black and pink? =p lol... what kind of a question is that??
3. What are you listening to right now? corrine may's " mr beasley " =)
4. What was the last thing you ate? a steroid tablet.. haha :)) oh and a ham sandwich.
5. Do you wish on stars? nope. =)
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? are you seriously asking me this question?? =o)
7. How is the weather right now? HOT.. :))
8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? amelia x)
9. Do you like the person who sent this to you? yeah =)
10. How old were you on your last birthday? fifteen! yayy haha im gonna be 16 =) it's not that great being 16 actually.. wonder why all the adults keep saying it's the best age to be. hmmm =)
11. Favorite drink? all forms of chocolatey coffee =op
12. Favorite sport to watch? soccer. STOP LAUGHING it's true x)
13. Have you ever dyed your hair? nope :)) haha
14. Do you wear contacts or glasses? both. i regret spoiling my eyesight mann. oh well. =)
15. Pets? they all died =( but i want a dog =>
16. Favorite month? december.. christmas!! =))
17. Favorite food? EVERYTHING =o)
18. What was the last movie you watched? if you mean in a cinema, madagascar i think. man that was long ago =/
19. Favorite day of the year? hmmm =) if i had to choose, christmas. but all days seem as good to me.. =>
20. What do you do to vent anger? shop/eat =) haha
21. What was your favorite toy as a child? doll houses and " my little ponies " =)) they're so pretty!!
22. Fall or Spring? errr fall? ahh, the lovely autumn colours :))
23. Hugs or kisses? both =o)
24. Cherry or Blueberry? blueberry.. =>
25. Do you want your friends to email you back? no, because this quiz is being done on my blog and im not gonna forward it to everyone because i have better things to do... haha yeah right. =)
26. (question non applicable)
27. Who is least likely to respond? (non applicable)
28.When was the last time you cried? last night. haha don't ask why, it was kinda dumb =x
29. What is on the floor of your closet? boxes of things from my past =)
30. Who is the friend you have had the longest? i can't remember! lol =)
31. What did you do last night? watched harry potter.talked to jon. slept =))
32. What inspires you? just about anything.. well pretty sights, lovely pictures, stories and real life people to name a few things that inspire me =o)
33. What are you afraid of? cockroaches. moths!! =/ yuck. err.. timothy john? lol =op
34. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? RAMLY x)
35. Favorite dog breed? schnauzer =)) anything acutally.. i don't mind a beagle too ( haha the snoopy breed!) =>
36. How many keys are on your ring? 2
37. How many years at your current job/school? less than a year
38. Favorite day of the week? friday!! =o) isn't it everyone's?
39. How many states have you lived in? 1 lol =)
40. How many cities have you lived in? 1 =) this question is such an anti-climax ending to a quiz like this. oh well =)







unbelievably sunburnt!!

hello all =) haha as my title suggests, i am in acute agony now... but looking on the bright side of things, i've learnt my lesson =o) haha... when this ordeal is over, i shall go invest in some good sunblock. and a cap! yayy :)) haha... in the meantime, my mum and sister are delighting themselves in calling me the lobster. =x

anyway, time is passing so quickly and i've got this whole load of things to do... and i have not come remotely close to completing them. =) haha, that's typical of me i guess... well, am looking forward to doing the F & N thingy tomorrow. at rach's place :)) hope we'll focus man... or maybe i'll just go gaga over her oh-so-adorable brother x) !!!! yay :))

well, wish i could stay and blog more (there's actually alot to blog about) but i've got to get cracking =) i will go do something more productive now... =)










my photos refuse to be uploaded :( shall just go print more of those adorable 2R photos tomorrow=)
anyway, nothing much happened today... well i had lunch with jonny =) at " rice bowl "... one thing i must say about that place, it's real value for money! and the food, well... some of the best stuff i've ever tasted =) i am bringing mum there to eat for sure... hopefully soon =)
i got a pink invitation to a wedding today =) michelle's :) haha it's the nicest/coolest/prettiest most lovely wedding invite i've ever recieved. x) i love weddings! they always seem to make me cry... :) or tear, at the very least... :))
anyway am looking forward to monday... kayaking with rachel! i forsee it will be ultimately hilarious =o) hahaha...
well, i know there's nothing particularly interesting ( or makes sense ) in this entry... but it's getting late so please excuse my incoherence. =) rachel should be here to testify to my constant usage of that word... haha particularly because i am incoherent most of the time. or maybe only with her? :)) lol... rachel read my previous entry! i feel honoured. rachel is sad that i spelled her name wrongly in the previous post. ( it was an accident okay. )
well, rach im sorry :)) haha... thank you for pointing out the GRAVE SPEELING ERROR and in doing so, FACILITATING MY CORRECTIONS that follow:





hello reader! =)
well, school has begun and i am glad to say that i am now in full gear... and actually doing assignments like never before =) i am surprised at myself! and i guess, i'm not really used to it... i'll be doing my work and my mind will start wandering.. " i should be online now " kinda thing. =) haha... but i like this change. yes, the late nights up doing work will take some getting used to... but it will be okay with time, as with everything else. =) well, most things =) haha...

anyway, i went over to rechel's again today. her brother is so cute!! ahh! :)) just wanna hug him man. little chicken wing x) well, i will be kayaking with rach and her family this monday at east coast, and it's gonna be AWESOME x) my under utilised muscles ( crying out for some form of physical activity ) are waiting in great anticipation. hello to the sand, sun and sea! =o) we will tan like no tomorrow, as we have planned =)
i really really really pray it won't rain. if everything goes well with no sign of calamity, it would be all i could bargain for. haha... rachel gave me a spongebob cup :) and pink peg with a flower. and coffee bean shake mix! :))

would love to stay, but i gotta get cracking... and talk to my friends now =)










' can't really tell you what i'm gonna do, there are so many thoughts in my head..'

numbing myself to the things that pain me?
yes, for the ones i love.




" i'll fall face down, as your glory shines around... "

Exodus 19:18 "And mount Sinai was altogether on a smoke, because the LORD descended upon it in fire: and the smoke thereof ascended as the smoke of a furnace, and the whole mount quaked greatly."

1 Timothy 6:16" God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone is immortal and who lives in unapproachable light, whom no one has seen or can see. To him be honor and might forever. Amen. "

Exodus 33:20, "And He said, Thou canst not see My face: for there shall no man see Me, and live."







my blog has been dead for about two weeks!:))
lol.. i'm really sorry about that. i've just been too busy and i guess you can say that i was not really in the mood for blogging. but i must say, although life is still extremely hectic now.. it's treating me great =)








i am in the library now =)
can't wait till friday!!
basically, life's just real busy now to put it simply.
i'm doing well, though..
thanks to the people who've been making things alot better for me, byt simply being there =))
my besty and jon =)

i love them man. haha.. and i spent the whole sunday with besty. =) watched a really sweet movie, and after that we just talked.. and talked and talked more. i miss talking to her man.
oh well, gotta run. will update again soon :))
i'm sorry this was nothing much.
love! :))
bev.









today was absolute bliss =)
started off with a " breakfast picnic " with jon. =o) hilariously, i woke up at 6 to go to 24 hour shops to buy pancake mix. you see, i had mini pancakes in mind =) was planning to bring them along with nice jam and all.. but all the places i went to had no pancake mix! =< haha.. a very dissapointed me returned home to get ready. in the end, i bought hotcakes with sausage from mcdonalds =/ and egg tarts.. both's fates i do not wish to disclose =) haha.. but the picnic turned out to be really fun! =) we just sat down and ate and acted mad. as they say, it's the simplest things you do with a friend that sometimes means so much. =)
after good firday service, during which jon kept disturbing me =) , we all headed down to suntec to watch miss congeniality 2. the queue was looong man. in the end, we got the 7.15 tickets. =) so yeah, we bummed around for a long time and went to kenny rogers for dinner.. where besty and i went retarded taking photos =) yay! haha.. i laughed like crazy..
the movie was so-so.. not great. i would rate it 4.5 / 10. but i guess it was the company that mattered =) the outing was still fun!
i reached home, and realised that i didn't bring my keys. =) lol.. had to wait for my parents to come home.. and lo and behold, when my parents walked out of the lift, my dad was carrying an LCD screen tv!!!! =o))))))))))) yes, because of this i can say that i have witnessed a miracle today. =)
today absolutely rocked. and what's making it rock more, i'm talking to jon after this. =) he is the sweetest guy. he bought me a bible bookmark with a pendant. it's like pink.. with crystals on it and the pendant is a locket. =) i love him.
anyway, here's a snippet of lyrics for thought...





i am so high now =) am talking to rachel online.. and we're talking about setting targets for this term. yupp, we're serious about it. and if we do hit our targets, we're gonna invade billy bombers!!! *drools like a pervert* =o) haha that sounded super wrong..
i have so much to do this weekend. but considering the amount of adrenaline i'm experiencing now, it should be no problem =) plenty of things i'm looking forward to. tomorrow morning's breakfast picnic =) , good friday service, the outing after service, seeing collin's new video script on saturday, cell group on saturday night, service on sunday morning, and probably another outing after that.. and not to mention taking loads of photos on the way! =) oh boy.. like i always say, " so little time, so much to do.. " =o) it's a rollercoaster. wheee!
being a teenager is the best!! =) although it seems extremely stressful being a teenager in today's world, we have to admit that adults get it far worse. we, as teenagers have the priviledge of having an excuse to be crazy =) and trust me, the world understands when we get all emotional and extreme. " just hormones ", they'll say. adults have to put on a strong front, no matter how terrible they feel because.. well, they're adults. and they have to maintain a cartain level of maturity. i'm not looking forward to that at all..
anyway, i'm embarking on loads of personal projects this term. =) mostly to do with my grades in school. but other than that, there's stuff like my walk with God, being a 24/7 christian and all =) i love life. i learn new things everyday =)





just read somebody's blog, and i guess nostalgia has come over me. but i'm glad for him, and i'm glad that it's over =) you guys probably don't know what i'm talking about. only besty knows. hehhehh =)
but anyway, the past few school days have been a real drag. school is getting very draining and i wonder how i am going to manage. but with god's strength, i will =) i must say that having more Q.T lately has impacted my life tremendously, and i will strive to do Q.T as regularly as possible =) yay! i'm slowly getting there.
*yawn*.. need to get work done, but my bed beckons. i'm tired man. oh well =) at least i have tomorrow to look forward to. why? cuz after tomorrow's it's a public holiday! =) yipeee! i am so tempted to stay home tomorrow. but i will not succumb to this thought. shall not even entertain it. unless i wake up tomorrow feeling half dead (which i already am actually), i am so going to school. my conviction of certain things astounds me sometimes. =) all these trials in my life are slowly making me realise more and more about who i really am.
i apologise for this sloppy entry. i am just somewhat fatigued, and craving sleep =) i am looking forward to my breakfast picnic on friday morning with jon! =) yay yay yay!! gonna bathe and watch A.M.I soon =) i am super looking forward to collecting my new spectacles. well, i guess i can say that life is really keeping me on my tos now. and yes, it is extremely difficult and trying.. but i am learning to embrace it with a smile =) and as i said, no problem is ever that big if you face it with a smile.
=) i think i made my point.




here for a quick update on what i've been doing for the past few days =)
been running around meeting up with people and getting things done. =) nothing productive though.. i have not done a single piece of holiday homework. =/ yes, i'll be dead if i don't start.
anyway, i'm getting a creative zen micro! =) still deciding between the 4 GB one and the 5 GB one. i am tingling with excitement! =o)
lemony snicket's " a series of unfortunate events " totally rocks. the movie was extremely well done =) way to go! here's a quote from the movie..

" know that a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey.. "

=) it encouraged me a great deal. wish i could blog more, but i gotta go get more stuff done. i feel like a workaholic. always running around for all kinds of things but never having time or space to breathe. it is tiring, but at the same time it excites me. =) this is life for now. will update as soon as i can.

<3 love.




today was just one of those days when i felt like a total mistake. but i am proud of myself, because for the first time.. i did not try to change that. i let myself be.
after all, like it or not, i am beverly rachael liew. and this is me.

" all i want to do is dwell in your presence, drink from the well that never runs dry. all i want to see, is the light of your glory. just one look, just one glimpse.. and my soul is satisfied. "

no one can satisfy me but you




i've learned that no problem is ever that bad if you face it with a smile =)

" holidays " have started!! yay =)
although this is definitely not a holiday, i still love the idea of not going to school =)) yay yay yay!!!

" tell everybody i'm on my way, and i'm loving every step i take.. "
- brother bear.

wheee! =) here i come!




i'm too affected by people sometimes. i am not going to let myself feel this way anymore. =)) ahhh.. people are coming over for tennis tomorrow. gotta go pack my room.




darren
There's a hero..
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you are..
There's an answer,
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know Will melt away..
And then a hero comes along,
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside..
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone,
Look inside you and be strong..
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you..
- " hero " by mariah carey. =)
hang in there, brother. i'm here for you.


some thoughts on life =)

The adventure of life is to learn.The purpose of life is to grow.The nature of life is to change.The challenge of life is to overcome.The essence of life is to care.The opportunity of life is to serve.The secret of life is to dare.The spice of life is to befriend.The beauty of life is to give.The joy of life is to love....William Arthur Ward.

My favorite quote is "Life is too short to be little," writtenby Disraeli. Often we allow ourselves to be upset by small things weshould despise and forget. We lose many irreplaceable hours brooding overgrievances that, in a year’s time, will be forgotten by us and by everybody.No, let us devote our life to worthwhile actions and feelings, to greatthoughts, real affections and enduring undertakings....Andre Maurois.

My life is my message....Mohandas Gandhi.

had a lazy afternoon today =) i am going for hip hop with wai sum on wednesday! haha yayy x) school was a real drag today. i don't know why i felt so lathargic. just felt like sleeping the whole time, and i lost my sppetite. ate 2 slices of bread for the whole day and i'm still not hungry. haha. i shall.. read for the rest of the evening.. and maybe, talk to jon =) i have firmly resolved to save money from now on. shall be very careful with my spending =) that's a good change.. lol
my want list
. people to play tennis with =)
. a book voucher!! =D
. people to cycle with
. new shoes =)
. new clothes =op
. people to study with
. pink lunchbox =)
shall go hit the books









i'm so glad that you've come so far, since i met you again last june. many things have come to pass =)) and for that i'm extremely thankful to God.
it's 5.40 am on a wednesday morning. strangely the first thing i thought of when i woke up were the words, " you are very easy to talk to. " i smiled. =) i knew exactly where that thought came from. it is a memory, a simple yet strong one.. one unintentionally made on that bus ride. the one i will never forget for the rest of my life.
somehow as i went to the kitchen for a cup of water, a peculiar sadness came over me. strange, but again i knew why. why we fell in love in the first place seems to have somehow melted away. i don't know how, or why. it seems like we would rather confide in other people, but not each other anymore. as the song goes, " we're together but living seperate lives. " it fully represents what things feels like now. it grieves me.
i love you, and nothing matters to me more than your happiness. all day, i'm filled with thoughts of you. i'm always hoping you're having a good day =) but i guess lately i've been sad because i don't seem to know nuts about what's going on in your life, and other people may actually know more. sigh.
whatever it is, i know you are tired and stressed. so don't worry about a thing okay =) i'll give you time, as long as you want. just know that if someday, somehow you find that things are overwhelming you.. and you can't find any place/ anyone to run to, i'll be here with open arms. be it 11 pm at night or 3 in the morning. rain or shine. i will be here with open arms. i have always been. you seem to have forgotten that lately, so i'll just say it again okay =)
it's unusual for me to be so overwhelmed by emotions at 5 plus in the morning.. i'm mad =)) sigh :_(





two particular issues have been largely hindering my walk with God for a long time. Many times, i thought they were gone, but now i realise that the devil will stop at nothing to see us fall. These issues still linger.. was doing Q.T when i felt God telling me that it was time i addressed them.

issue #1
personal insecurities ( feelings of inferior to almost everyone i know)

this has really caused my spiritual life to deteriorate.. and to some extent, my attention in church too. Subconciously, i'm always concentrating on how "perfect" everyone else seems.. and i guess i've allowed it to hurt and scar me without knowing it. Thinking over, i realise that this thought of everyone being able to do things better than me has made me back out of alot of things. Honestly, i have not been helping around at church as much as my heart has been longing to.why??? because i'm scared i'll do things wrong? i know it is sheer stupidity to even let these thoughts cross my mind.. but ironically, i find myself battling against them. they are so real to me. i'm so scared that i'll screw up, that since everyone seems to be doing a better job anyway, i say, ' why not just let them.' i feel totally withdrawn.

issue #2
identity crisis ( feel like i don't know who i am anymore.occupying myself with all kinds of activities in my persuit to find my true self, because there seems to be nothing that gives me a strong sense of who i am )

what i've been totally missing is that i am loved by the creator of the earth.i am his, and my identity is in him!

but yet i find myself questioning who i am.. (a snippet from my journal), ".. watching everyone pass me by, with somewhat no talent, nothing that i can say truly gives me a sense of who i am. i don't even know what i enjoy anymore. "
this whole identity crisis thing is aggravating issue #1. insecurity. i have come to a point where sometimes, i can't even bring myself to look people in the eye. i'm scared. scared they'll see through the strong front i always put on. always acting like everything's all sorted. utter lies. i am tired of pretending, i admit it.. and i am not shamed by writing all this. no more pretence.


i have been so carried away trying to solve these two issues on my own.which was the problem in the first place, i tried.i was bound to fail, and i did fail. proof that i am absolute filth, nothing without my God and my maker =) time for him to take over. it won't be easy, and i know it will hurt alot. but he will take me through it.. =))






ramblings
whooo. just finished the retarded chemistry project with rachel. i'm really sorry about not being able to come over in the end. but we still managed to do it =)) it's quite nice, i must say.. haha. it's done!! =))
i just visited my favourite quotes website, and i came across this quote.. it goes,
" somehow,the people we love the most are the people we always hurt and take forgranted the most. " i was thinking about it, and i was really disturbed by it.. because i know it's true. but shouldn't it be the other way around? the reason why we hurt and take forgranted the people we love is because we think they won't mind, we think they will always be there.. and that that we'll have plenty of time to make up for whatever we have done to hurt them. look on the flipside. if you lost someone you love dearly, and the last thing you ever said to this person hurt him/her deeply.. would you be able to live with it? especially when you knew that what you said would hurt the person, but you just went ahead and said it because..well, you were just pissed off and needed to take it out on someone.. and since you knew this person would understand, and you would make up to him/her sooner or later, you just let it slip.
that's the thing.. i guess we just take everybody forgranted too much. yes, loved ones will always understand when we hurt them sometimes.. but do we really want to take that as license to hurt them with our words as and when we feel like it? do we really want to hurt them time and time again.. when in reality, they are the ones we should be thanking the most? they are the ones to be thanked.. encouraged.. hugged.. kissed.. =)) i guess taking each other forgranted happens alot especially with family.. best friends, and relationships.. we have the " i don't need to tell her i love her because she already knows.. " or " we have already been through so much together, he would understand if i just ignore him for awhile.i'm not really in the mood to talk to him anyway.." mentality. i think it's something we gotta work on =))
after all, aren't loved ones God's gifts to us? =)

and when people we love do hurt our feelings, just remember that his love never fails, and can always be counted on.. with your life =)





doing a quick update before i go eat. =op muahahahahahhaha
speaking of food, we made " sweet corn soup and healthy fruit punch " in F & N today. lol =o) not that i would actually call the soup food.. utterly disastrous is all i can say.. haha =) i was extremely cheesed off at a certain someone who kept picking on me and rachel for all kinds of silly, not to mention small things during practical. rach - sorry for being such a klutz during F & N.. wish i could do better so at least you could have had a chance of getting a better grade.sorry, girl =/
nothing much happened in school today.. except i got my CCA stuff sorted =) yay!haha.. but other than that, today was somewhat a bore. i borrowed two books from the library.. i have made a resolution to read all the books i wanna read!! have been putting reading off my list for far too long, due to my insane schedule.. which i have decided, must go out the window=)) *gleams*
i have found another confidante recently.han makes a really good friend.. he's wildly hilarious. lol.. he likes to send me messages at random times of the day.. and it really cheers me up =) it makes me feel like i'm not alone in the world.. lol =) so yeah..
i hope to see alex around more in school =) i was book hunting in the library just now.. then i met her and we just started chatting.. about nothing in particular but it was hilarious. she kept telling me to " SHUT UP!!IT'S A LIBRARY WOMAN!! " lol =op sorriee man i just can't help it. it's called laughing gas. it's like farting/burping.. once it makes its way out, it's unstoppable!! muahahhahaha =opp *evil laughter* unfortunately i can't burp =((( YET, that is =) shall hire a professional.i must learn and master this fine art!!!!




time for shoutouts =)
[*rachelle] not sure youre gonna have time to come online.. let alone read my blog, but in case you do.. i'm looking forward to seeing u again next week =) i miss those old times too.. haha getting drenched in the rain in sec 2 =) we may not be in the same school anymore.. but it doesn't matter, really. bring me to aussie with you! lol.. sometimes i just feel like running away.. like the song " breakaway ".. haha. you rock =] god bless!!!
- lots of love, [bevie]


[*daphne] knowing how busy you always are, i don't think you'll get to read this.. but i shall still write you something anyhow, in case you decide to pop by =) have not spoken to you properly in quite awhile.. am still getting used to things.. lol it's funny how we always took forgranted the time we had as classmates.. a priviledge we find, has left us unexpectedly too fast, too soon. i guess i'll be dedicating the song " graduation " to you one year early eh? =) anyhow, i really hope we will remain as close as we were back in mg.. no matter where life takes us yeah? =] *sniffles. study hard for your Os okay.. am quite worried for you, i know you get stressed easily and all. but seriously, i have faith in you, you can do it!=)) will meet up with you soon okay? once i get my CCA stuff out of the way, i will =) take care, you. miss being your classmate (actually it's bugging you that i miss..haha).
- love lots, [ cow =op ] I MISS THE PEPPERY SPAGHETTI BACK AT MG!! lol..


[*besty] another girl i've missed speaking to lately. already late feb, girl.. have had totally no time to catch up (properly) the past few months. i know we haven't really spoken much, but both you and i know that alot of things have been going on.. it's like everything seems fine on the outside but there's actually so much more to it , so many undercurrents beneath the shimmering surface. it's a besty thing la =) we just know what's going on.. even though we've never actually talked to each other about it. just wanna say that i love you loads!! =) it's so wonderful to have a friend so close that the friendship becomes unconditional. wishing you all the best studying for Os =) i'm happy you are studying now. lol.. please know that i'm here for you 24 hours, 365 days a year okay =) although i know i seem extremely " off " nowadays.. i'm still here for you as always, doesn't matter what i'm going through yeah?=)) so.. continue to seek the lord in whatever you do, follow after him and don't let go of him.. whatever you do.letting go of everything you've ever dreamed of in this world may seem the hardest thing to do, but these things are nothing in comparison to our heavenly father. =) i love you. seriously. <3 bevo ="op" color="#000000">

[*rachel chloe] although i've only know you for awhile, you've really been great =) thanks again for being a friend to me in st. margs.. it means alot to me =) haha.. remember to chill okay? haha here's the lyrics to the old nike advert for you =]]
" some things in life are bad, they can really make you mad..
and other things will make you swear and curse. =(
when you're chewing on life's gristle,
don't grumble.. give a whistle!
and this will make things turn out for the best..
and.. always look on the bright side of life! =) "
see you =D i will make your mum let you watch spongebob!!!!! lol..
- [bevv]


[*bowen]
hellooooooooo =o) tennis? lol..


[*my personal favourite,the moon] all i can say is, thanks for putting up with me despite me being crappy. i am making this promise to you.. i will try my best to get rid of this insecurity thing that i have okay =) it may take awhile, but it's still a promise =] thanks for all the goofing around, breakfasts, lunches and dinners =))))) and somewhat nonsensical conversations.. which somehow mean alot =op we've had our ups and downs, but every relationship requires hard work. maybe now, it may seem like we are working at things more than we are actually enjoying them. but it will pass.. it always does =) so.. just wanted to say, i love you. =)))))))
-[ mrs claus =op ] <3

rantings
this is what i love most about my blog =) it's my space.. a space where i can literally say whatever i wanna say, and whatever needs to be said.
been somewhat in a daze lately.. i guess i'm not used to so much work. i never had so much work back in mg and even if i did, the teachers didn't really care if i didn't hand up work.it's so strict in st. margs.. although i know it's a good change for me ( it forces me to be disciplined ).. it's really wearing me out. to the people who have tolerated me in my half-conscious state, thank you so much. i have resolved to get things sorted out. whoopie! =)
today, we had sports meet. don't really have anything to say. except that tolley house cheerleading was gooood =)) haha.. realised some things today.i absolutely hate being apart from my friends and the ones i love.there are just some dear ones i miss so much!!
did so much thinking today.i realised how i've actually been bugged by a few people all this while but never really noticed until now. buggers. lol =) but then again, why should i be bugged by people who obviously don't give hoots about my feelings? i've done all i can on my part, if that's not good enough.. then i'll live with it, thats' all. =]
whooooo.i've said enough. am going to bathe now =) am shacked like crazy.i had a cup of starbucks hot mocha today!! mmmmmmmm =Pp *craves for more*




god really spoke when i did Q.T last night.. =) here's a snippet of what i wrote down in my diary.


who am i that the lord of all the earth
would care to know my name,
would care to feel my hurt?
who am i that the bright and morning star
would choose to light the way for my ever wandering heart?
not because of who i am,
but because of what you've done..
not because of what i've done,
but because of who you are..
who am i that the eyes that see my sin
would look on me with love,
and watch me rise again?
who am i that the voice that calmed the sea
would call out through the rain,
and calm the storm in me?
not because of who i am,
but because of what you've done..
not because of what i've done,
but because of who you are..
i am a flower quickly fading
here today and gone tomorrow
a wave tossed in the ocean
a vapour in the wind
still you hear me when i'm calling
lord, you catch me when i'm falling..
and you told me who i am..
i am yours.. i am yours.


" blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." matthew 5:3
poor in spirit - desperation of the spirit, bankruptcy of the heart.
" we are in permanent debt to God and we can never repay the Lord for what he has done for us on the cross." - Benny Ho
we are nothing without Christ.





i am a flower quickly fading,
here today and gone tomorrow
a wave tossed in the ocean
a vapour in the wind
still you hear me when i'm calling
lord you catch me when i'm falling
and you told me who i am,
i am yours.. i am yours.




school was hilarious today. =)
shall not go into the details. shall save the details for a lucky, select few =op to be honest, i'm just lazy to type =) hahahh..
i'm in a dilemma. pink ipod mini or pink zen micro? zen micro, being cheaper than ipod mini is viciously tempting =) professional help! shall go ask prince. he's good at giving this sort of advice =) can't wait to get my hands on either one!!
another thing i'm wildly excited about.. tennis sessions with bowen and maybe his friends =) we, the hopeless tennis cases (actually it's just me), are thinking of taking up group lessons!i found this instructor who comes to my estate.. messaged bowie (haha yes, i shall call him bowie from now on.. *gleams*) just now, i am waiting for him to see if any of his friends wanna join us =) lol.. i forsee chaos in the courts =op muahahahhahahaa..
i feel accomplished today =) i was getting everything correct at math tuition just now. laugh and i'll understand =) but actually it's not hard at all.. am starting to like math again =)
i am in a terribly good mood =) shall go wash clothes now =op and tag rachel's blog =) yay!




am gonna get ready for school soon.. i wanna sleep. =)




If You Love Her Enough

By Bill Walls

My friend John always has something to tell me. He knows so much that young men have to have older and more worldly wise men to tell them. For instance who to trust, how to care for others, and how to live life to the fullest.

Recently, John lost his wife Janet. For eight years she fought against cancer, but in the end her sickness had the last word.

One day John took out a folded piece of paper from his wallet. He had found it, so he told me, when he tidied up some drawers at home. It was a small love letter Janet had written. The note could look like a school girl's scrawls about her dream guy. All that was missing was a drawing of a heart with the names John and Janet written in it. But the small letter was written by a woman who had had seven children; a woman who fought for her life and who probably only had a few months left to live.

It was also a beautiful recipe for how to keep a marriage together.

Janet's description of her husband begins thus: "Loved me. Took care of me. Worried about me."

Even though John always had a ready answer, he never joked about cancer apparently. Sometimes he came home in the evening to find Janet in the middle of one of those depressions cancer patients so often get. In no time he got her into the car and drove her to her favorite restaurant.

He showed consideration for her, and she knew it. You cannot hide something for someone who knows better.

"Helped me when I was ill," the next line reads. Perhaps Janet wrote this while the cancer was in one of the horrible and wonderful lulls. Where everything is -- almost -- as it used to be, before the sickness broke out, and where it doesn't hurt to hope that everything is over, maybe forever.

"Forgave me a lot."

"Stood by my side."

And a piece of good advice for everyone who looks on giving constructive criticism as a kind of sacred duty: "Always praising."

"Made sure I had everything I needed," she goes on to write.

After that she has turned over the paper and added: "Warmth. Humor. Kindness. Thoughtfulness." And then she writes about the husband she has lived with and loved the most of her life: "Always there for me when I needed you."

The last words she wrote sum up all the others. I can see her for me when she adds thoughtfully: "Good friend."

I stand beside John now, and cannot even pretend to know how it feels to lose someone who is as close to me as Janet was to him. I need to hear what he has to say much more than he needs to talk.

"John," I ask. "How do you stick together with someone through 38 years -- not to mention the sickness? How do I know if I can bear to stand by my wife's side if she becomes sick one day?"

"You can," he says quietly. "If you love her enough, you can."


awwwww =) i just had to put this up on my blog.i saw a pair of specs i want!!nerdy ones.. HEHEHE =op









i like this new design!=)
i am over the moon after recieving so many hong baos today.. i made myself a promise, that after i get married i will be generous with the hong baos i give too =) i have such generous relatives.. i know i will feel guilty if i spend it frivolously. am gonna put it all in the bank =op what happens to the money after that( considering the fact that i am a happy owner of an ATM card ), is an entirely different story.i don't wish to imagine +) i'll try my best, though =)

i love the fossil watch with pink hearts hanging from it =( not enough $$ ahhhhhhhhh

" love is what you've been through with somebody.. " -source unknown





i am behind time with all the homework!!! =x am gonna stay up tomorrow night maybe, and finish it all =)
school was okay today.. kinda long though i was waiting for the day to end =) F & N test was quite okay.hahaha.. i went to orchard with my sister!we walked around until like 8.. i am quite exhausted now.. but saw some nice stuff though =) saw somebody but he DAO-ed me.. was a little upset and all by it but i guess i should have expected it.. oh well =)
seeing certain stuff at orchard today made me happy and sad at the same time.didn't know whether to smile or to sigh.. in the end i did neither.am so confused.. time for some alone time again =) need to think things over.
enough of that, i'm real excited about CNY! =-) can't wait for all the goodies and dressing up and fun!!*bev yays herself mad*
wishing everyone a fun, happy new year! =)
i feel like farting. shooo! :))


_________*breaking free... from all i've cried over*________





i feel like sucha sad case sometimes =(
won't dwell on it though =) just had a nice dinner at fish and co!=o) yay.. haha i tried the cajun style grilled salmon.. it was ok.. but the fish was kinda burnt though.. walao.. lol =) but the mussles were good stuff,as always.i am itching all over now.maybe my room is too messy that's why =) shall be useful tonight and go do some massive packing in my room =o)

oooohh.. REMINDER TO BEV: go burn the CDs rachel lent you =)

i saw some nice stuff at parkway just now..
. pink FOSSIL watch - $155 i am absolutely in <3 with it.although it's 80% settled that i won't be able to buy it =( sob
. pink MANGO sweater - $55 gorgeous stuff!affordable too, so i will be getting it after CNY!=) yay!!
. CONVERSE rainbow tshirt - $25 thereabouts not sure about the exact price, but it's such a cute casual tee. must have =p

plus loads of other stuff i wanna buy =) like books!!i love books man =oo)) wheeee... shall go chill in my room now +)

jon didn't give me a smiley =(((




i have spent the past hour in futile attempt to find a new blog template!=op baahhhhh, bev! haha.. in a way, i feel accomplished.. although i have done nothing particularly productive since i came home, i talked to loads of people online =) many of which i have not really spoken to properly in quite awhile cuz of my hectic schedule and all.. so you can say that i'm really happy about that =)) gonna play tennis with bowen and his friend!haha or at least they will teach me how.. =op besides talking to friends i have been gorging myself today! =)) *applause* just had herbal chicken for dinner? heheheheeee +)
oh man i feel like killing the phone!keeps ringing and ringing =O i feel like a receptionist.. haha =)
before i forget, i have to say this.. i hate the way people kill pigs in china!they actually pump the pig's stomach with water.. and then they inject it with this liquid which causes a layer of something to form on the inside of their stomach.. and most of these pigs have to be slaughtered within 2 hours because of the intense pain.. like be more humane, people!!! such buggers. =(







=) !
hehehehe am in a terribly hyper mood right now, probably because i slept for 5 hours just now! =op yay!!haha i feel like such a slackerrr for leaving school early today. heyy couldn't help it man i felt so dizzy i could barely do P.E =) bleahh.. had to call mum to come get me.. anyway, i saw doctor liew and she says i have low blood pressure. yeap =)
there are 2 things i intend to buy after chinese new year.. =o)
. digital camera
. pink sweater from MANGO

i need help in choosing my digicam..
haha +)
anyway, i shall go study / do something productive now!
*mad applause* =))) maybe watch raising helen? =p

FOCKER OUT.. lol!








past 2 days have been hectic.
but i have choir tomorrow!! yay!!! =))))
haha that's about all i have time to blog now..
time to talk to my friends =)
and talk to jon after that =)))
double yayy +)





ignite was fantastic.. 3 days packed with praise, worship and the word of god =)
it was so wonderful to see everyone praising god together.. and we had time to pray for our schools! =) haha.. at first i though i was the only one from st. margies there.. but i was so thankful to see 5 other st. margs gals there.. i believe that God really worked in us through all the sessions.. =)
the messages shared by the speakers really reminded me ( and everyone else too, i'm sure ) about having a sense of urgency, especially in these days. i mean, life in this material world has a way of drawing you away from god.. and it's something that's very real. it is always very subtle.. and most of the time we don't even realise that we are going astray.. and before we know it, we wake up one morning and, we realise that our walk with god has come to a literal " standstill ". then we start to wonder what went wrong..
all this made me remember what i read in John Bevere's book, " drawing near ". there was this part of the book which said that what we fill our hearts and lives with.. will be what we hunger for, and in that way, our hunger for god is very much controlled by us. and the more i thought about it, the more it all made sense.. so many times we all lose our vision because of all these things we fill our lives with.. the wrong things i mean. yeah.. there's a small portion of my thoughts from ignite =)
also.. ignite was mostly a time of release for me personally.. there was a whole build-up of emotional baggage, and it was there for almost 4 months already. and i guess i never really was healed of all that, even though i thought they had gone.. but during one of the sessions, as i knelt down and started to pray.. i realised they were there in me still. and i let them go =)
all of you who went for ignite, keep the flame burning bright.. and always turn to one of us when you need encouragement, because we do not stand alone! =)





" have i told you about the tension of opposites? " he says.

the tension of opposites?

" life is a series of pulls back and forth. you want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else.something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't.you take certain things forgranted, even when you know you should never take anything forgranted.a tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. and most of us live somewhere in the middle."

sounds like a wrestling match, i say.

" a wrestling match." he laughs. " yes, you could describe life that way."

so which side wins, i ask?

" which side wins? "

he smiles at me, the crinkled eyes, the crooked teeth.

" love wins. love always wins. "

- tuesdays with morrie =)






before i itch to death here in the living room, i shall try my best to blog as fast as possible =op DIE, YOU SILLY MOSQUITO!

anyway, today was eventful =) went to school and read 3/4 of this fabulous book i borrowed yesterday.. " revenge of the middle-aged woman ". it's mesmerising =o) and we had chapel today.hehe i am thankful for how my first week at st margs has been much better than i expected it to be.for the first time in ages i am actually loking forward to monday =) yay!

after school, i went to orchard with daphne, charmaine and elaine. haha bummed around with them and i ate super alot =D but i guess hanging with them is not the same as when we were together in mg.. i miss disturbing daphne! haha =)) it's so different. but was nice to see them =] we made a promise to meet up at least once in two weeks. i'll have to try to work that out =) haha took nice neoprints. haven't took them in ages and it was fun =p and we went to this tshirt printing shop.. it's really good! i'm just gonna patronise that shop from this kinda thing from now onwards. class tshirts anybody?? =)

after that, i went to parkway for din with jon =) had pasta mania! yay! =)) and then he followed me around parkway.. we bummed around for awhile.. played sonic at isetan! =)) and then he came supermarketing with me! =o) we were like trolley racing, and it was a whole load of fun.we topped everything off with an ice cream from new zealand's natural ice cream parlour.had yummy hokie pokie ice cream =) and he had a chocolate float. haha we were acting like crazy people =) it was fuuuuuun! yay!thanks to jon for helping me with the supermarketing =))

after that, we met sheena and my sis.. then my sis and i gave jon a lift home in our taxi =) and we were tlaking about lots of funny stuff. hehehehe =Pp yeah.. and i came back home =) and blogged. yay!! i'm done blogging =) to end all, i shall just say that i had a great day. shall go enjoy the rest of the night now =) take care, everyone. study hard! <3





the moon is the 2nd best thing that has happened to me in my life =) and i love the moon. <3





Love is a friendship caught on fire....Northern Exposure.

To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven....Karen Sunde.

Immature love says: "I love you because I need you."Mature love says: "I need you because I love you."....Erich Fromm.

Love is first friendshipand then commitment....Jacques Pierre Ribault.

I love you, not because you are perfect,But because you are so perfect for me....Unknown.

Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like a volcano and thensubsides and when it subsides you have to make a decision. You haveto work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it isinconceivable that you should ever part, because this is what love is.Love is not the breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not thepromise of eternal passion, and it is not the desire to mate everyminute or every second of the day. That is just being "in love"which any fool can do…Love itself is what's left over when being in love hasburned away, and this both an art and a fortunate accident....Louis De Bernieres.

The way to love anything is to realizethat it might be lost....Gilbert Chesterton.

Love is a thing, well, its kind of like quicksand:The more you are in it, the deeper you sink.And when it hits you, you've just got to fall....UB40.



enough of feeling romantic, bev =))))) <3





Life's Lessons
Author Andy Rooney
I've learned....that the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
I've learned....that when you're in love, it shows.
I've learned....that just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day.
I've learned....that having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
I've learned....that being kind is more important than being right.
I've learned....that you should never say no to a gift from a child.
I've learned....that I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
I've learned....that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
I've learned....that sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
I've learned....that simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
I've learned....that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I've learned....that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
I've learned....that money doesn't buy class.
I've learned....that it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I've learned....that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned....that the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?
I've learned....that to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I've learned....that when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
I've learned....that love, not time, heals all wounds.
I've learned....that the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
I've learned....that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
I've learned....that there's nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks.
I've learned....that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
I've learned....that life is tough, but I'm tougher.
I've learned....that opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
I've learned....that when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
I've learned....that I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.
I've learned....that one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
I've learned....that a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
I've learned....that I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.
I've learned....that when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
I've learned....that everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
I've learned....that it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life-threatening situation.
I've learned....that the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.





oh man.. i caught the flu bug.. haha got green mucus now =)
anyway, i am going down to st margie's today to buy my uniforms and school books etc.yay!
bleahness though.. didn't get to go for their sec 3 camp in johor ( which starts today ) =( *sobs*
MY SISTER ATE ALL MY HONEY STARS!!!!
greedy woman she is =) now i have nothing to eat for breakfast.shall make her cook me a cheese omelette buy me a new box of honey stars =o) that's the way bev!whahahahaha..

i'm really going to miss pure bio.it's really nice =) haha i can still remember all the stuff =) yay! i shall.. type something to do with bio just for fun =)







i am officially a st margs student

lol =op just found out yesterday.
but school already started.. so there was only one combination left for me..











i just did some math homework =) just felt a sudden urge to come blog.. hehehh =p
haha got P.E first thing tomorrow morning.. gotta go look for my P.E shirt!anyway,i still don't know which school i'm gonna be in now.whatever it is, i hope it's settled soon, so it will be easier for me to settle down in whichever school =o) in the meantime,my new class in mg is quite okay.haha.. got a funny bio teacher.lol =op
let's see... stuff i did today =)
i went to city hall.. bought 3 very satisfactory items =o) yayness!haha.. was choosing them halfway when daphne called me.was real happy to hear from her.. even though it was to ask me abt. some lit stuff.shall go hang with her soon.i still have not taken photos with her!! =/
i like the necklace rachelle gave me =) shall go hang with her too.. we are gonna go to clarke quay soon!wooohooo =) shall bring her to eat somewhere nice there.. maybe the vulgar sounding restaurant?=) haha it's really good fusion stuff man.it's called tamade.heard of it??lol.. i am craving their oozing,hot chocolate brownie! =)) *drools*
so yeah.. went cycling with my sister when i came home.dropped by the sea sports ctr for while to check out the sailing course.. man it sure looks fun!=) shall go ask denise for more sailing information.. wheee!
anyway,yeah.. i really miss talking to you.. can't wait till friday =)





hey.. first 2 days of school have been wierd i have to admit.haha.. coz i kinda have my feet in two places right now.. one in mg and one in st. margaret's. i think the chances of me going to st. margs are quite high now.. so yeah.. wonder what this year has in store for me =)
last year went by ridiculously quick.last year was super eventful, and draining at the same time with so many things happening.hmmmmm.. i am still recovering from mental and emotional fatigue to some extent.haha.. guess it will take some time, i gotta be careful not to dwell on it!
anyway, i've been trying to get my mind off things these few days.i dunno.. i've tried looking at it from different points of view.i still don't get it.and maybe i don't have to, but it would help alot if i knew what was really going on.bleahhh =pp
went to rachelle's house today.. did some catching up and watched the first disc of " honey " =) miss those times when we were still classmates in sec 2.i remember getting drenched in the pouring rain with her during reccess!haha it was done deliberately to waste time during science period.. which was right after reccess.lol =o) loads of fun mann.wish i could do that again.those were the days...
as for now, whichever school god puts me in.. i intend to make full use of my time there =) still trying to figure out what cca to join and all.. trying to sort out certain issues in my life right now.so i won't say that i've settled down at all.. but then again, there's no hurry =)






you're vanilla!you're sweet and romantic and smell like cookies.
you're incredibly friendly and love love. you
probably like puppies and kittens too. you care
abotu everyone and are generally optimistic.go you.

Which Body Shop fragrance are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

happy new year guys!! =)





i'm going to orchard!=) supposed to go with my sis, but i think she's still sleeping.. nevermind.. shall go on my own first and tell her to come meet me later =o) yay!i am so dropping by far east.*drools*
shall i buy a new school bag?shall see if there's anything really nice first =)





hey all =) am seriously thinking of joining sailing next year.although my mum would probably object.. she'll probably talk about the tsunami thing.haha.. maybe i should ride the tsunami? =o) anyway,last night's year end party was so much fun.loved the food loads!=)
anyway, i don't know why but i have not been able to write long entries lately.i will soon ok =) maybe there's just so much to write that it can't really be blogged about.hmmmmm =) am going out soon!!yayy!










i love christmas!=o)
this christmas has been the most hectic one by far.but, i'm having a great time.lol had alot of fun.yesterday's service at conference hall was cool =) wheee!
anyway, after today's party.. i went out alone to have some alone time.did me good =) then i met my sis after that.. had dinner and went to pan pacific hotel to go up the lift =op there's a good view man!wheeeee =op it was so funny.. cuz we were taking photos like mad in the lift when nobody was in it.i think the guards knew what we were up to cuz they started giving us funny looks.heh =Pp then we started walking around the hotel doing really stupid stuff and taking photos.and looking for my sister's gingerbread.haha she is famous for sudden cravings =) so yeah.. walked around for AN HOUR looking for her gingerbread.finally found it at conrad hotel =) haha but yeah, overall the time we speant was good.quality time!yay =o) and my mum and dad really liked what i gave them =) wheeee!
just a few things to say.they may not be of any relevance but yeah.. shall just say them =o)

1. i love my besty! =)
2. i wanna bathe
3. i wanna take more photos
4. i need to clean my room!=op
5. my sister has gone mad.. haha

enough crapping.. i shall go bathe =) can open more presents after that!merry christmas everyone =o) i love you guys!!!





merry christmas everyone!!!! =)











i have not been myself at all for the past few days,and i don't know why.people around me are starting to notice it and they've all been asking me about it.tough thing is,whenever they ask me about it.. i'll keep quiet,because i myself have no idea how to express what's in my head.
i guess it's all due to a build up of things lately.. i don't know.i hate feeling this way.feels so icky.i don't know what to blog about now,really.except ing ing came to my house today =) haha and a couple of hilarious things did happen.
i'm hoping for a quick bounce back this time round.but until then,i'll try my best =) cheer up bev!





It's a charmed life
Innocence wild
Crayola skies for a thousand miles
It's a good life in the happily ever after
Last page of the very last chapter
It's the story of a charmed life
It's a charmed life
Unexplainable grace
Stumbling, you fall right into place
It's a childlike world and you can feel the magic
Far from the typically tragic
That's the beauty of a charmed life
Who needs to know
When it all comes and when it all goes
Who needs to know just when
Fate will take you there
It's a charmed life
Innocence wild
Crayola skies for a thousand miles
It's a good life in the happily ever after
Last page of the very last chapter
It's the story of a charmed life
Na na na...
Na na na...
Who needs to know
When it all comes and when it all goes
Who needs to know just when
I know you'll be there (I know you'll be there)
It's a charmed life
Innocence wild
Crayola Skies for a thousand miles
It's a good life in the happily ever after
Last page of the very last chapter
It's the story of a charmed life
Na na na...(It's the story of a charmed life)
Na na na...(It's the beauty of a charmed life)
Na na na...(It's the story of a charmed life)
Na na na...(It's the beauty of a charmed life)
Na na na...
Na na na...

i love this song =o) kinda reminds me of my own life.haha =) it's the christmas season!!!!yayyy!!!

beverly rachael (:
otherwise known as:
bevie, beaver, bevolution, bevo and beeevie (:
28th September 89'

Jesus!Family and friends!Pink and red roses.Creme Brulee.Swimming.Dancing and singing.Running.Movie marathons.Parties.The outdoors!Phone calls (: Hanging out with friends (:

cockroaches =(





adda
adele
amelia
bobo
bowen
charis
collin
christine
daphne
darren
derong
elaine
eunice
jolene
jonE
jonk
leon
louisa
melanie
nicole
nigel
peiqi
rachel
sasha
serene choo
serene koh
sheena
stefanie
vanessa


miss pony tale
pink wand
shimmer glamour
vision hub
fayfey
scarlet room
spring fling
my girly affair



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